Thursday, May 24, 2007

Waxing Lyrical Over Small things Vol 1

Hi all!

Recently I’ve been in a poetic mood. Not the Robert Burn ‘my love is like a red red rose’ kind, but rather the retro Haiku mood, which is ancient, but like platform wedges, are flying the high wave in comtemporary literature. Since my relationship with alcohol is starting to turn into a soppy love, and however much I always thought poems are too drippy, I have succumbed enough to wax lyrical over it. And since we are at it, why not just continue?

A haiku is a basic 5 syllabus-7 syllabus-5 syllabus poem, which can be adapted to different syllabus length for English, as long as the alternate lines have the same number of syllabus. Hence, 3-5-3, 7-5-7, etc etc are all viable. Usually Haikus are used for everyday occurrences with the last sentence slightly incongruent to the subject and yet able to sum up the earlier 2 sentences appropriately. But that said, it doesn't mean I can do it, and most common haikus don't, but they still read fine.

It’s terrible if you are forced to do it during lit class, but amazingly easy when there’s no pressure. I welcome anyone to pen a short haiku in this entry. I also think Haikus are here to stay, so expect more in the future.

For now, there’s my ode (5-7-5) to the amazing Chocolate Cake shooter, a recipe brought back by JayWalk from the Land of Dragons. No, it did not come from the Land of Dragons, it came from this ang-moh guy in the land of dra.....ok, i was a bit hazy on the details after my 3rd....

Pass the lips and down

Sugar-coated lemon wedge

One shot to Heaven

And here’s another one (7-5-7) when I encountered a super-shitty workday. R(A), you have been warned:

Had a God-awful Monday

4 more days to go

Kan Nee Na Beh Chao Ch** B**

For today’s entry, what less but to expound about myself?

Ode to Ang Ku Kueh:

Peanut Paste Pastry

Eaten past its Sell-by Date

Emergency Room

Anyone for haiku? How about one about your blog nick? Be sure to tell me!


AKK :)

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Tears over Scrambled Eggs....

Dear all,

i know lot of people here would like to know lots more details about PPQ and are wondering if the series are going to go on. I promise you, if there’s anything, I’ll be the first to update. Just so that you know, everything’s in real-time, yes? So that means that when nothing happens, nothing gets blogged. And sad to say, for the readers, PPQ has decided that I’m not fit for personal conversations anymore. On my part, my Bacardi days have become less and less, which is good for the pocket and the liver. I’m not sad she doesn’t confide in me. If I was, it’ll only be because I couldn’t write more about her in my blog. What kind of person would I be, yea?

Yesterday, I went out on date with a bunch of people I had not seen in a while. I was enjoying myself immensely and increasingly with every alcohol, so when my handphone beeped today morning, I was under the covers still and trying to swat it.

It was a female friend and since her voice sounded a bit quavery, I gave a groan and forced myself to wake up. When I called her back 10 minutes later, she sounded normal again.

Why, gal? What’s wrong? I asked her.

It’s nothing, she replied, I think I just called on the whim. We’ve not met a while, how are you?

So far so good, but come on, I know something’s up. Care to spill?

There was a sigh from the other end.

Ok, but when I’m finished, don’t hold it against anyone.

Woah, sounds bad. Ok I promise.

You know yesterday you were calling me to ask me where I was? Actually I was right in the heart of Clarke Quay, in XYZ pub.

Really? Then why didn’t you tell me? I was at ABC, I could have met you up!

Aiyah, I was with frens mah. Listen to me first, can?

Okok, sorli sorli, do go on.

You know how it is rite? My hubby nowadays very busy, doesn’t have much time for me. So I’ve been going out a bit more often and meeting up with frens. Then yesterday nite, I was feeling quite buzzed. My frens called other frens who called others so it turned out to be a really big crowd all sitting together.

Yah, and then?

So of cos, everyone got passed around from known to unknown, trying to make frens etc etc.

I replied, thinking about my own gathering yesterday. Did something happen?

Nah….only that I got a few people trying to hook me. I was wearing a short skirt.

Hehehhe….that’s hardly surprising.
I imagine her long legs, usually encased in loose jeans, clad in a short skirt. Any number of guys would go panting after her. But like me, she married pretty early.

So what? That's all you want to say? You called me early just to tell me you scored a few guys' business cards?

No, Akk, will you just listen?

OK OK….sorli sorli….go on pls.

Akk, I haven't felt this good in a long while. Haven't been out like this, doing the 'pub rounds' since I left PR. It's like all these are new to me and I'm this green gal happily sucking up the attention…..I felt so flattered…


And….and this morning, I woke up bright and cheerful and happy. So this was how I felt when I made breakfast for hubby.


So when he was watching the news and reading his papers in the living room, I just asked him from the kitchen, would you like toast or cereal, he said toast. I asked would he like eggs, he said yes and then I asked him if he's them scrambled and soft-boiled, he said.....

What did he say?

The hitch in her voice came back again.

He said, any damn eggs will do, why you want to shoot me so many questions in the morning? Why can't you shut up?


her voice sounded dangerously hoarse now. My heart just suddenly lurched and it hurt. Just standing in the kitchen, with a saucepan in one hand, eggs in the other, I just started tearing up. All I could think about was that I'm the greatest wife in the world, that I don't care that guys still try to screw me just because I’m a pair of legs but I don't let them, that I think about him all the time and whether his job is working him too hard and that I made myself wake earlier every single day, hangover or not, and worry about his breakfast and whether he prefers his eggs scrambled, hard-boiled or soft!

My friend fell silent after this outburst. I could tell she's crying.

Where is he now? I asked.

Eating breakfast.

And you?

I'm now in the bathroom.
She sniffed. I don't care how many business cards I get from cute strangers, I just want him to see me again. He didn’t even blink at my skirt.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. Don't think too much, dearie. Everything's ok, I shushed her with nonsensical words while she snuffled quietly on top of the toilet seat, her husband sittng just a room away, eating his blessed scrambled eggs and toast obliviously.

Why don't you talk to him?

Nah...I can't keep him from his work. He's in a difficult phase now.

We chatted a while till she calmed down long enough to put down the phone and go back to sleep for her hangover.

Hang in there, ok? My parting words for her before she hung up.

Yes, Ma'am. Now I'll go hide my puffy eyes from him, just in case he noticed.

It may not such a bad idea, him noticing.

No, I want him to see me the way those pub guys saw me yesterday.

OK, no yellow-faced fishwife, I agree.

The chirp is back in her voice. Ok, gotta go, thanks for listening.

Anytime for you, dearie. Anytime.

I put down the phone. This friend is fairly special because we are very similar, our circumstances, our age and our personality. Especially our determination to find happiness in everything or anything. Lemonade from lemons and all that crap.

But sometimes, I wonder if it's a good thing. Just yesterday, steps from where my poor fren was, I was also enjoying myself with my own bunch.

‘Wah lau! Take pic with me leh, I want those 2 things inside!’ Those 2 things referring to the 2 mammaries that were, for once, in their life, released from the confines of a wire prison in public. My newly minted Victoria’s secret low-cut top came with insets to take away the necessity of wearing a bra. I can see that my accompanying friend (female) loved them a lot and tried to zoom in to the valley after the pic was taken.

A, on the other hand, didn’t say anything apart from ‘It’s quite nice, dear.’ and ‘Goes with the shoes’, then finally, ‘Time to go or we’ll be late for work.’


But at least he doesn’t scream at me over eggs.





Sunday, May 06, 2007

Letter to a Friend

First it started out as a comment on meepok's entry, then it got too long, so I transferred it here. Then the more I wrote, realised it could be meant for all, although of cos it is address to him.

Well, to all you friends and family, yes I know you all are silent readers but I'm not penalising you for not commenting, at least not today, because yesterday was a beautiful but scary day, remember to ask me if I meet up with you.

Guess I don't say it enough and seldom do, but to you, young and old, new and old, siblings, you know who you are, you have been at different times in my life, my support and strength, my joy and laughter, my sarcasm and wit. I remember still, the things you have done for me and will continue to do in future, don't worry. Thank you and love you. My Work is not my Life. You are.


Hey Friend,

I really look forward to your entries because it’s so different from my own life. On the other hand, heng I never thought your pasture was greener, just more exciting and can take more pics since you travel so much. I stopped after taking 10 pics of my own machine. There are only so many angles you can take of it. My cubicle has loads of odds and ends of other friends souvenirs when they travel for work, on the contrary, my other friend’s cubicles are missing mine, but grudging put up pics of me posing with my machine. Heh.

My new fridge is still waiting to be filled up with fridge magnets that I vow to buy from any country that I go to. Currently, the uncovered bits stand about 99%, and my large clay mould magnet depicting the Istana takes pride of place over the remaining.

Hope that while u are working your butt off right now, you can then retire early with big big nest and play like siao to make up for it, or at the very least, ZZzzz like siao. Of cos, to spend lots of time with family, that’s a given. But currently, every now and then must slow down a bit and see the sunshine, yes? I know my life is about 100x slower and also about 1500x less important in the workforce of society, but hell, rather take it from a downtown HDB gal still worrying about money, family, work to hearing the same thing from an already ultra successful, can-take-vacation-anytime, can-spend-like-water-anytime, got-golden-family person, yes? Sounds so much more genuine.

Yesterday morning, while I was swimming, there was a circular rainbow surrounding the sun, it was beautiful and completely round. I noticed it only because I had my UV goggles on and while taking a breath during free-style, thwacked my neck. I’ve ever seen it once before and I still remember the year, the time and the place, it was an inspiring phenomenon. I rather hope all my friends saw it, but it was 8.30am in the morning and I bet they are all either sleeping off the booze or sleeping off the fatigue.

I hope u saw it too, but if you didn’t, then at least you know that it has occurred. And while life, work, money, dreams go on and people on the streets throng the traffic and buzz around like busy bees, the sky above creates a circle rainbow in silence.

Look up! :)



Thursday, May 03, 2007

The Sad Ping Pong Queen Vol 11.

Hi all!

Let’s get with the program! A little break from PPQ was just what the doctor ordered, since after the weight incidence, there seem like a complete increase in the number of jabs and jibes going around. As usual, given the circumstance, I’m always half wondering if she was conscious of her speech or is she truly one of Nature’s blinder creatures. Like an earthworm maybe, or a mole, but at least they are useful.

In any case, the episode today is back on track. If this blog were a TV show, there had be a deep manly voice saying, ‘And now! For more of…………. the Adventures of ………….PPQ!!!!’

And a theme song ala the Green Hornet will blare out and then onscreen, large block letters zoomed out accompanied by the same manly voice.

‘The Mystery of the Chinese Takeaway!!!’ It booms.

Yup! It is truly the subtitle for today’s entry. Of cos, taken into the asian context, perhaps it’ll be more appropriate to change it to….

The Mystery of the Hee Teng Ta-Pao!!!!!

Yup again! It’s another fish porridge episode!

Following the dearth of LK’s dramatic confession, I’ve not been in contact with him since he has finished with this side of the work for the time being. Assuring me that he’ll talk to PPQ however, doesn’t mean it’ll take place any time soon. It seemed that since the weight episode, I had become anathema. The subject of weight, which was by far her second most favourite topic, after men/potential boyfriends, has been abruptly trodden for the time being. After the incident where her large face suddenly plastered too close to mine for my comfort, I’d taken to installing a small mirror above my flat screen to monitor my rear end. Every now and then, I can see her take surreptitious glances at me, trying her best to see exactly where 7kg of flesh might have disappeared to in a space of 2 weeks without her knowledge. Other than that, things seemed to have gone to ground.

But during the rest of the week, I caught snatches of conversations between PPQ and the younger colleagues. Not joining the conversation, I nevertheless heard the murmurings of my colleagues. The words ‘LK”, ‘married’, ‘just friends’, any chances?’, ‘no more going out?’ floated out.

In this regard, I found myself incensed with PPQ’s terrible lack of sense and sensibility. Although the whole context was not wholly taken in, I’m pretty sure they were discussing the topic of LK. Following his confession, I felt it was only right to keep this news from the office or those who knows him. If he wanted to share, he can do so himself. But it’s been barely 2 weeks and already news of his married state is being spread around by PPQ herself. I heard the colleagues murmur condolences to her current ‘alone again’ state and commiserating that LK did not seem agreeable to meet up more often as ‘just friends’. I was sure that PPQ did not mean to spread it as a form of malicious gossip, but only as garnishing to her own problems of being ‘dumped’.

Ever since the recent hoo-haas, I’ve also stopped talking to her on a personal level. I just can’t seem to get enough heart and feelings to open my mouth. It is the truth that I no longer wanted to know what’s going on in her life. It bears no significance, no weight, no effect, not even a ripple to my own, since I don’t care for her the way I do the others. It will soon also spell the demise of this series, but at the very least, today’s entry won’t be much of a disappointment. It involves, of all things, very curious bowl of fish porridge (again) and a cup of regular kopi.

I’d like to say that LK and PPQ have it all over between them. Unfortunately, the episode of LK+PPQ hasn’t ended in the murmurings of the office gals. It is true that LK did eventually tell her, once on a Thursday to roughly run over his sob story, then again on a Sunday, for emphasis. All these, I gleaned from LK on one of his visits for another service, spending approximately 5min at the water dispenser filling me in.

To say that PPQ is upset is an understatement, she is back to ground zero ie nobody loves me. But following LK’s advice, she has stopped borrowing those relationship self-help books.

Nowadays she reads How to Say YES! to Life.

You had have thought everything’s finally gone back to normal. So the next few days were a breeze. No jabs, jibes, complaints, or any topics on LK, men, their eligibility or lack of, her eligibility or lack of and of cos, weight, hers and the rest of the office’s. When the end of the week swung around, I actually thought we could all get through this without a peep. To celebrate, I decided to once again attend the card sessions that were held in the office every lunchtime. And so when the freer gals came around to take order for takeways so we can hole up in office, I asked for rice, 2 veg and 1 meat. Another colleague, Penny, gave her order and also PPQ’s order, which she had passed to her before she went to do some lab work.

Half way through working at the PC in the office, I heard Penny received an SMS beep. Immediately after, she called the gals who was catering for us.

‘Hey, listen up! No need buy for PPQ liao. Her secret admirer bought lunch for her already!’ she chimed.

Silence and then, ‘No no, you have to buy for me, but not for PPQ. She got lunch, but you mustn’t forget me! I don’t have secret admirer like her lah!’ she chuckled.

A red loud siren twirling the words ‘Blog Entry Alert!’ flew a merry-go-round my head. I pinged Penny on MSN.

‘Oy Oy, buy lunch for her liao, how to be secret admirer anymore?’

‘Dunno leh. She just SMS me to revert the order.’

‘Orh…so is a guy ah?’ OK, I could have been more subtle….

‘Yah, she say he delivering.’

‘So nice ah? I must see who later.’

‘Heheheh….inform me if hansem hor.’

So ends the msn interlude. Soon the colleague left and I was alone in the office. I clicked on my blog URL.

Just as I was thinking distractedly and touching up on my entry, a sudden tap on my shoulder and a cheerful ‘hi!’ sent me almost scrambling to either topple the PC screen or use my body as a shield.

‘What what?’ I looked around anxiously. I had just used my mirror to check my itchy eyes and then misplaced it flat on the table. LK’s face loomed above it.

Piak! On came the Google default window to cover the familiar green template of and I turned around to match him face to face, eye to eye with a suspiciously bright smile.

‘Heyyyyy……!! Long time no see!! How are you doing?’ I noticed 2 cups of coffee in a cardboard holder and a lunch of fish porridge in his hands. A vague idea formed in my mind….. Interesting….

For the sake of things, I asked politely, although I already knew the answer.

‘Who’s the lucky person you bought lunch for?’

He looked at his offerings, then calmly went to PPQ’s table and put the foodstuffs on it. Then he unscrewed a cup of kopi and nursed it in his hands and replied, ‘For PPQ.’

‘Huh? Like that only ah? Elaborate leh.’ I teased

He frowned. ‘No special meaning. She sms me to help her buy lunch. Since I was already out lunching, I replied sure and helped.’

Ho ho ho….someone’s being funny and it’s not him.

I made myself a cup of kopi and asked, ‘You already talked to her, right? I thought you did?’


‘Left anything out?’

‘Nope, but it’s a watered down version, none of the dramatics.’

I motioned him to the meeting room. ‘There’s something I need to tell you….’

‘What what? Do I do something wrong again?’ As I kindly ushered him to a seat.

‘Well, you bought lunch for her.’

‘Only cos she asked for it! If I wasn’t eating myself, I wouldn’t have gone any extra mile. Not after talking with her.’

‘So you didn’t sms her and asked her if she’s hungry?’

He was indignant. ‘Unless my HP can type itself, I hardly think so.’

I went for broke. ‘Did you know in our office, we have our own tapao system?’

‘Really? Then why did she sms me?’

A moment of chagrin marched across his face. Then his jaw dropped.


I grinned. I was enjoying this moment a little too much.


‘You sure?’

‘Yup. Today, one order was cancelled at the last moment.’


He looked so scared for a moment that I laughed.

‘Be sure to tell me if you dare to ask her.’

He stared at his empty cup of coffee.

‘Great! I thought the whole thing’s solved…I told you I told her twice…First time on Thursday when she called me and second time on Sunday when she came over.’

‘Eh…aftershock?’ I chortled again. An idea occurred. I announced expectantly.

‘In fact, some girls react badly if you rock their world.’

Silence met this statement a moment longer than was necessary. I tried again.

‘As in you? Like when she met you, you Rock her World? And then metaphorically, when you gave her the bad news, you rocked her world again? You know?’ I coughed.

His jaw closed and his eyebrow lifted in a look of disgust.

‘Wah lau! You very corny, you know?’ He burst out.

‘Hur hur hur….thank you thank you. Incidentally, corn don’t have knees, they have ears.’ A memory of some sort was trying to bug me in the last few seconds, but I couldn’t quite catch it.

With that retort, LK grimaced at the chilliness of the joke and whacked me on the shoulder with his empty cup while I laughed away. He grabbed me by the lanyard around my neck to bring me closer to the security door so he could get himself away from me. 5 seconds later, he was out the door and saying goodbye. Through it all, my sub consciousness was screaming at me and trying to get my attention.

Half way down the corridor, it hit me. I ran to a retreating LK.

‘She went over to YOUR PLACE??!!!’ I shouted. The echo sped through the walls. He spun around, startled.


‘You said she came over. To your place?’

He relaxed.

‘Hah! I know what you’re thinking! She came but she stayed at the void deck, yes? I didn’t invite her to my place.’

‘Unbelievable….’ I’m trying my best not to think my colleague is completely off her rocker but it’s getting harder everyday.

‘Believe it. This tapao thing isn’t too bad already. When I saw the sms was from her, I was filled with utmost dread, so imagine my happiness when it was just an ordinary request to help get a meal.’


‘Gotta go, gal. Before she comes back from her lab. Best to not see her in the next few days. I’ve got work to do.’ Then he spun around and took off.

While I can’t be too sure, I have a feeling that the PPQ series, or at least the LK/PPQ episodes are drawing to a close. LK definitely came off the whole thing the wiser for it, while PPQ remained essentially the same. A bit eccentric, but no less beguiling to other men. Beats me, but I just heard there’s yet another guy going after her. Perhaps one day she may indeed find the one person who suits her. Of cos, he’ll probably be dumber than a puppet with its mouth glued shut and emptier than an open packet of chips in a rat’s nest (I’ve been watching too much Hannah Montana), but hey, there’s one for everyone out there, ya?



Tuesday, May 01, 2007


Hi all!

For those anxious for epi 11, very sorry, I have been working my fucking ass off....

Check back in a few day? or at least till I calm down after labour day......

There's another 24 hr day on the way....


AKK :)

Thanks you guys for visiting and those kind words.:)