Wednesday, September 21, 2005

3 random facts….


Hi all!

I’ve been passed this baton by Jayaxe. Once again, it’s another one of those meaningful tags, so thanks! New fodder for the blog!.:)


1st story:



I stole for excitement.



Unlike Jaywalk, who stole a figurine during kindergarten and eventually felt guilty enough to return it back, I never returned what I stole. Mostly because, they couldn’t be returned anyway and also because, I never felt guilty about it at all.


When I was in primary 4, T-shirts with jewels, sequins and beads were all the rage. Aunties were wearing them to the market, those really stretchable materials that seem to hold about a ton of shiny fake diamonds on them. So when my family was out shopping, I would hang around feeling bored at my mother’s feet until she also got pissed with me and send me to sit under the mannequin. Then I’ll systematically strip the closest rack of jeweled clothing of its sparkly plastics and hoard them in my pocket, pretending they were real diamonds.



The minute i started, shopping is no longer boring. I’d surreptitiously hide myself between racks of clothing and start prying the gems off their arms. I would keep a lookout for any suspicious…ahem….sales aunties who are more sharp-eyed than the usual glazed ones, then look innocent or walk back to my mum, pocket full of stolen rocks. One time, I found a security camera that revolved itself around a particular section full of sequined costumes….so I just picked the sequins, gems and beads off each clothing while following behind the camera, so it never saw me.



One day, I’ll sure kena caught by police. thank goodness I soon became bored again...


*********************


2nd story:

What kind of bird do you want to be?


Recounted by my dad as I dun really remember the incident although I remember my answer. He remembers word for word our conversation in Chinese, but I’ll translate to English as best as I can.


When I was younger, I used to stay in the current West Coast Court. I was from a neighboring school so every sat, my dad would walk me past the forested area to my school for choir practice. I loved these times with my dad because I seldom see him during weekdays since I was always slept very early. he’d hold my hand or let me skip in front. Because it was heavily forested, we sometimes stop to look at swallows, eagles and yellow ochres flying by. One day, my dad asks me, when we were both admiring a pair of swallows dancing in the sky.


‘If you can be any bird, what would you be?’


*think hard, screw face*


‘I want to be a sparrow, pa.’


‘A sparrow? Those are swallows you are looking at, honey.’


‘I know, pa, but I still want to be a sparrow.’


He took my hand and we continued walking, me, of cos, skipping beside him because he takes really long steps.


‘But why be a sparrow when u can be a soaring eagle? Or a pretty yellow ochre or even a swift swallow?’


‘Pa, you are so silly. Last week, you just took me to Jurong Birdpark!’


‘Eh? What did Jurong Birdpark have to do with anything?’


‘I saw all the beautiful birds there, pa, all caged up….. So many sparrows at our kopi tiam where I drink milo but I never see them in Birdpark.’


‘But that’s because sparrows are not special, they’re everywhere.’


‘Must be special to be free meh?’


Funnily enough, my answer is still be the same now, 19 yrs down the road.


****************************************

3rd story.

Being a Boy....


I would like to talk about my colonoscopy experience but thought that this event deserves a big (and painful) entry all on its own. So I’ll talk about my childhood again.


Did I mention I look like a boy when I was in primary school? The thing is, no one ever believed much about it. But just because I grew my hair long, pluck my eyebrows, wore contacts and have breasts now, it didn’t mean I don’t look like the opposite sex when I was still prepubescent. Added to everything, I was an utter tomboy. Boys cower before me.


Although I never fought in my life, no boys ever wanted to have to deal with me. I think it might be due to that fierce angsty scowl I always had on my face, probably due to my hatred for my mum, who refused to let me grow my hair like a girl.


I think deep down inside, she thought making me look ugly might make me study better and have less problems with guys in general.


She was right; I never had guy problems all through secondary and did well in my studies. I am also, and I know it, extremely inferior about my physical self. She played a great part in it, always telling the barber to snip my hair all off to the ears and getting me plastic specs that made me look like a complete dork, but because I loved her, I obeyed her.


Which goes to show that parents are not always right. Chuikueh, you are reading this for the first time, so know and appreciate the fact that ah ma has become extremely lax and mellow with age when it came to you.


During these tumultuous times, I had this so-called best friend, N. We were always together, although I much preferred the boys’ more raucous company trying to catch butterflies during recess, then to spend it playing zero-point in the backyard with her. But then during those times, that’s what best friends do right? Stick together.



It came to a point in primary 6 when she started to go horribly wrong on me. She started calling me ‘hubby’ and refused to let any girls near me. She’d grab my hand and lead me away when my classmates wanted to join us for lunch. Since I didn’t have many female frens, this didn’t occur often, hence I didn’t really care. Furthermore, I was trying to get into the League of super-chee-goo-pah players during recess, so I was more or less always queuing up with the guys to go 1-to-1 combat with the chee-go-pah king.


I didn’t see it coming. One day, we went to the restrooms together (Oh yah, due to a voyeur incident, girls are cautioned to go to the loo in pairs).




She suddenly pushed me into a cubicle and er…..hugged me….


.................



…….ok….........I think I better let up on the details because I’m writing this 14 years down the road and still, I’m chickening out at the last moment….*Goosebumps*




Suffice to say, I was the bigger of the two. I pushed her away and I may have slapped her or punched her, but I forgot.



However, I remembered that I never spoke to her again.



3 random facts dredged out deep from my soul….what do you think?
Out!
AKK

Sunday, September 18, 2005

the name of problem.......

In matrix, it's called a glitch in the system.

in ecology, it's called a mutant in a population.

to diabetics, it's the ant in the toilet bowl.


It's a red flawless apple with a rotten core.

the colour black in my rainbow.

the food stains on my favorite white shirt.



in life and maths, it's called a problem.


I have a problem, i cannot deny it.


And the mirror didn't work...


pls, i need to be happy again.




akk.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Bread Escapade...

Hi all!


Recently, I’ve been confused about some things in my life. I can’t say what they are except that I’ve become sleepless over them. In fact, I don’t even think they are problems, but I’m still sleepless anyway….



geez….i hate being clueless…




But regardless! I shall talk abt happy things today!


I’ve gotten myself a Breadmaker! Weee….!!! I’ve been wanting it since JC! But back then, breadmakers were toys for rich tai-tais. They come looking like a rice-cooker, then all anyone has to do is to just dump in the water, the milk, the eggs and the flour and let the machine do all the mixing kneading and baking! This is like the culinary equivalent to nuclear fission....






breadmaker


Can imagine all those tai-tais who’s never had to descale a fish or cube up raw meat before, viewing this machine like Godsend. It would feel as if u’ve done all the house-wifey work of making bread for your hubby and kids. Everyone applauds you for that delicious raisin bread that you didn't make, the banana-chocolate chip bread which you got thru pressing a few buttons. People admiring your dedication to your family in the form of fresh bakery everyday!




Wah......




I also wan.....




So recently, Safe superstore had a sale advertised in the straits times. 3-days only! Breadmakers $99 each! Just 50 sets! Limited to one per customer! Enjoy great savings! No regrets!



So immediately after I left work, I rushed down to Harbourfront, hoping against hope that there are only 49 tai-tai wannabes working there who reads the newspapers and are free during lunchtime…



Fat chance…



I even ran up the escalator with my elder brother trailing behind (him with the car, who drove me to get my new toy…).



When I sprinted through the entrance, I breathlessly accosted a bewildered sales personnel, grabbing him and almost screaming,




‘where is it?!’





‘what what?’ *panicky*





‘the 50th breadmaker!’






it took a while to register, by the time when I was about to bite his head off, he wordlessly pointed to some nondescript boxes right beside him….








Nicely packed, 5 boxes-high, were 10 rows of breadmakers….




And my elder brother heaved a huge ‘Haiz!!’ right behind me for making him accelerate past 70km/hr…….




But who cares! I got my breadmaker! Yippee! Now can pretend to be those homely gals who bakes scrumptious breads for their boyfrens or hubbies….



And A does love his bread….:)





After making the salesman move the pile to get the lowermost, innermost box of breadmaker among all the identical breadmakers, I happily brought it home (via my brother).





Here’s wat I’ve done to it:


Monday: I made a ‘deluxe white bread’ becos I’m very law-abiding and the attached recipe book tells me to ‘try this recipe first!’, so I tried it.


Then half-way through mixing, A came over to watch me watch my machine rolling the dough into a perfect ball….


‘hey! Bread! Can I have chocolate chips in it?’ he sounded so happy and look so pleading that I couldn’t say no, although Logic is shouting out that it’s a ‘deluxe WHITE bread’.

deluxe White bread




‘pls, dear?*hugs*




Oh well, Logic be damned!





‘OK…..I guess we can add 1 cup of it.’



then he took out my secret stash of Hersey’s semi-sweet chips. I realised now that lots of stashes that I tot were secret wasn’t a secret to my whole family. Now he has been included into the circle…I wonder how they found out…



so I carefully measured out 1 cup and dumped it slowly into the ball and we both watched the machine hungrily for a while…then......



‘you think 1 cup of chips is enuff?’



‘dunno, wat u think?’



‘I think we add another cup?’



we stared at the dough ball inside again for another five minutes. Already the chips were disappearing into the mixture, we hardly saw any on the surface.



Then suddenly, we heard the spongebob cartoon theme song blaring from the TV outside.


Whoooooo…..lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Spongebob Squarepants!!!





Suddenly, in a moment of immense decisiveness and teamwork, A opened the cover of the machine while I upended my precious chocolate chips onto the bread dough, then hand-in-hand, we rushed out to watch our favorite cartoon…….



After 3 hours, the bread was ready and we eagerly tipped it out, pinched a small piece each and blowing our burning fingers, popped the morsel into our mouths….



2 seconds of chewing was all it took. We frowned and stared at one another, then back at the bread.



Taking the knife, A sliced it right down the middle and opened it up…….




You would have tot that bread dough with almost a whole bag of Hershey's chips would be brimming with ...er....chips, but noooo....We couldn’t find any sign of them……



becoming brown bread
Posted by Picasa


On the other hand, We've just found out how to make dark brown WHITE Bread.



OUT!
AKK

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Se7en...

hi all!!!


Li-er and Nad passed me this. And after doing this exercise, I have learnt something abt myself in the process...



# 7 things that scare me...
1. spiders
2. ghosts
3. having my family broken in any way
4. suffering before death
5. Lost my financial independence
6. becoming pessimistic
7. finding out I can’t have a babe of my own (touch wood)

# 7 things that I like most...
1. my family being whole
2. Hang out with my friends
3. being able to have dinner with my family
4. money (who doesn’t?)
5. being able to see something happy and beuatiful in something small
6. food, all kinds!!
7. having companionship and yet, the freedom to be alone

# 7 important things in my room...
1. power-rider to hang my clothes
2. my bed
3. secret stash of porn
4. me (duh!)
5. my art and art/craft supplies
6. PC and lappy
7. books, books books….

# 7 random facts about me...

1. before i did braces i couldn't ever close my mouth...
2. I almost always wear white clothings
3. I thought of commiting suicide (last time lah)
4. my abs used to be a 4-pack (long long time ago…*burst into tears*)
5. I was born cross-eyed, that’s why I was so cute as a baby
6. I wear maternity clothes to buffets (hehehe…small sized ones…ahem…)
7. I look like a guy so much last time, I can walk into a male toilet and no one would question me. The fishball auntie also call me ‘ahboy’ when I was clearly wearing a skirt.



# 7 things I plan to do before I die...
1. sex
2. have a family
3. learn professional glass art
4. save up to ji pah ban then spend like hieow….
5. to be able to wear a bikini and not be self-conscious
6. tell the ppl around me I love them
7. continue blogging and keep my identity secret

# 7 things I can do...
1. love and love alot
2. make a mistake and apologise
3. sleep with mouth closed
4. cartwheels, that is, if my arms can still support my weight

5. appreciate being alive
6. imagine (hahahaha….)
7. do the right thing (sighz)

# 7 things I can't do...
1. forget something that is forgiven
2. be sure of my left and right (loong chiah!)
3. sing (heheh….)
4. be a volunteer at an old folk’s home or children’s home
5. be neat
6. feel sorry for myself (too thick-skinned)
7. hurt anyone intentionally (I hope…)

# 7 things I say the most…
1. wah lau!
2. sorry!
3. thank you.
4. hiya! ni hao!
5. choujidan!
6. huh? *blurr*
7. jidan….-__-*



# 7 celeb crushes…
1. Horatio Caine from CSI miami

2. Tommy Lee Jones
3. Harrison Ford
4. the tallest guy in 5566 (forgot his name…looks good tho..)
5. Greg Sanders in CSI LV


# 7 people I'll love to see doing this...pls do as you will, because it's again, pretty much a chainmail, but I'd like to know abt you guys! :)


1. jaywalk
2. tempestblue
3. frenie
4. vanna
5. stars
6. lancerlord
7. chuikueh
8. Ed, Edd and Eddy

Friday, September 09, 2005

Missing A........


Hi all!


I’m usually a genuinely happy person. I mean, I try to be. One of the most important things I’ve learnt is to be happy.



Like, looking at the mirror and saying ‘I’m happy’ for 50 times.........


It does actually help, OK? Veteran ‘I’m happy’ chanter down here dispensing advice. Even when Life deals u a bad blow, don’t mope, don’t collapse and don’t give up.




Just go find a mirror.....




And ignore all the flaws on your face during said chanting........




And no digging!




It’s damn corny but it’s true. Many times during research, months of preparations can all go down the drain in just 1 single day due to just 1 stoopid mistake that occurs in the space of 5 min. The worse is having to accept that it really really really is your fault and no one else’s becos the project is your baby.



Since I’ve given my baby back to my professor, I’ve been floating like a freaking happy balloon freewheeling in the sky....




Suddenly, there's less acne and more visible facial skin. A lighter step even with the same shoes.




Even also kena walk-peach-flower-luck and got myself a new, marvellous addition to my life.



I’m a happy camper right now. All in all, there is nothing but a freaking improvement in my life.......so ok, have to start giving Ah Ma 50% of my ini-machiam salary to show my deep appreciation for her homemade dinners (ahem) and freshly laundered clothes to wear everyday.



But essentially, life is good.



It’s hard enough to go to work without a big grin splitting the face and I have to curb the urge to point my finger at a few idiotic colleagues and say, ‘Is your life as good as mine??’



Wah lau, damn near did it a few times, but I didn’t. Mean lah, but some of these colleagues drive me crazy........



For one thing, most of them dress in short short skirts ala NUS babes (which they are actually....damn...) and like to flash their lovely long thighs at me. I have a suspicious feeling it's a conspiracy out to get my ego.....everyone is wearing such teensy-weensy skirts nowadays.... The thing is, if they wore something that showed off half their boob balls, I wouldn’t have minded, becos I got boobs also.



But the thighs.....the thighs I dun have and these, these they wiggle and swiggle about and prance like young geldings.........


Another thing, they have seen a pic of A after sneaking over my shoulder one day when I was mooning, eye glazed, and said something that would have deeply wounded me had my skin not been tougher than the canteen’s mee pok tah.


‘Wow! How did you managed to get someone that looks like this?!’


Choujidan! How, indeed! If they had been more sarcastic, I would have gone straight home to bang my mum’s wooden clogs on some red paper dolls with their passport-sized photos and burn holes thru the eyes with joss-stick. But since they look genuinely speechless, I was feeling more charitable and only prayed for the elevator to jam on their way home.........



Alright, enough bitching! If you’ve not realised, I’m in my PMS phase now, so although I’d like to put (another!) disclaimer that says, ‘anything and everything that I blurt out is not my fault but me hormones working overtime’, I cannot.


Becos I’m a woman of Science......



F***
(see? I even censor for the sake of underaged eyes....).


Must.......control.........my.........temper........




Kaaaa-BBOOMMMM!!!!!! Posted by Picasa





Today, I just admitted to myself I may be feeling a bit bluer than my normal happy self.....A has been too busy and he doesn’t work normal hours. I've been pretty busy too, but when I’m free, well..... I’m really free.....that’s why I’m writing this blog now.....



......OK, so I miss him.... a bit ........... not a lot ......
..........*sniff*.........



I kinda hope to have more work, becos at least it can take my mind off the moping. I often wondered how come those Korean and Jap babes still managed to catch the Yan dao when all they do is cast their puffy red-eyes and stuffy faces at the camera forlornly. I mean, when I cry, I gush like Old Faithful and snort and make those irritating hiccups that seriously gives my throat grief. Moping afterwards gives me wrinkly black eyebags and makes my frens afraid to approach me for fear of enduring another geyser gush or seeing Sadako.....


10 yrs ago before, when fren J just knew me.....,


J: ‘I’ve seen u around, rite?’


AKK: ‘Yes, I’m your junior.’


J: ‘I remember you….you don’t look very frenly.’


AKK: ‘I’ve got PMS.’


J: ‘What? All the time?’



.......... -__- ........




OK, so I look very du lan most of the time......not just when I mope.......but 10 yrs down the road, J just popped another remark yesterday over kopi with me.




‘Are u depressed? Or working too hard?’



‘Why? Do I look it?’



Well..... Not really......but...



‘Say it, man!'



‘Well, U do look a bit tired.........’


‘.....ok....’


‘.......and old-er........’


‘........’



.......So yesterday I was looking my du lan self........


......add a few years for the ‘a bit tired’ comment......


........add double for ‘and old-er...........


.......And you can put another 5 years on me in comparision to all those young Giseles prancing in the office .........



....... After some quick mental calculations, I looked about 35 over kopi.....




‘What u mean......a bit?’



*sensing trouble...* ‘A bit is a bit lah.’



‘A little bit or a big bit?’






I need to shut up right about now.......



And perhaps it’s time to invest in some low tops that expose half my boob balls.....



A just smsed to say he can’t meet today....



Oh well, time to go find a mirror........
And I promise not to dig .......





OUT!


AKK
PS. Following the spirit of Lancerlord, 5 things I'm thankful for today.
1. My lil' bro's blog
2. My new breadmaker :)
3. Kong Bah Pau for lunch and Lontong for dinner
4. Finding the Incredible Hulk's Pic
5. My boobs

Another member of the Family...

Hi all!



Lil' brother thought I won't do anything as crass as introducing him, but he's wrong. There's no need to actually, since he's getting feedback already, but becos I'm his big impatient sis and because it's something that family members should do for each other, I'm excited to announce the birth of another Kueh blog (Against his knowledge and his wishes).....





Drumroll pls!


*RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....................*





It is my pleasure to introduce the one and only newly steamed, vegetarian, fresh-from-the-wicker-tier Chui Kueh!!!!

...........$2, add chilli, add chai poh.........




Hmmm....This is my lil' brother....minus the chai poh.... Posted by Picasa



After seeing his first entry, big sis hope chui kueh doesn't get too addicted to blogging. First sentence already scaring akk. As for his content, I din noe that 16 yr-olds know the word 'sex'...I mean....tsk tsk...it was 'making love' in my time...


Oh well, gotta let little chicks spread their wings one day....


All the best, li' Bro and enjoy yourself!


Out!


AKK
(and go finish your chem revision....)

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Reason for a blog...

(Covering-ur-ass-disclaimer: MSN conversations and personal dialog featured have been embellished in content, and enhanced with colour, pauses and crickets....hehehe...)



Hi all!

In case you guys are hoping for something funny today, I shall have to warn you that this post shall be kinda depressing…and loser-ish…


…and corny….of cos…



In reality, the reason why I blog is to have an outlet for myself. This means I sometimes find myself in a quandary. I don’t seem to be able to reconcile the halves of me, online and off, into one whole. Perhaps last time, I could have been, because I did not know the joy of posting online my private thoughts. Right now, I’d find myself living my life more fulfillingly in virtual than reality at odd times.



I need to confess something; I’m a laid-back boring person. True, I can laugh and engage in conversation like any other, but I lack the courage to voice out a true opinion among strangers unless I want to offend ppl, or to tell a tale with enough confidence to make ppl laugh.




Someone once asked me to tell him a joke on MSN, but I couldn’t remember any jokes except a damn funny biology joke and a super-lame general one.




So I told him the damn funny biology one:




‘Ay Ay, when do u know that your lab aircon is down?


‘what lab?’


‘just play along, ok?’


‘right right! when?’


‘when you can do your heat-shock transformation on the benchtop! Muahahahah!’









(silence….extra crickets in backgrd…)



and then.........‘okie, perhaps another joke?’







So much for the Biology joke.







So I told him the super-lame one that goes like this:


‘Imagine you are walking in a forest and see a fork in the road, do u take left or right?’


To which he dutifully answered, ‘right.’


‘You see a house, do you go in or peer through the window?’


‘Go in.’


‘You see a pile of fruits on the table. All kinds of fruit from all over the world regardless of the season! Quick! Which fruit will you pick out and eat first?!’




Quick! Choose!





Almost immediately, ‘A liew lian!’



‘whoa! good choice, is durian. this is a personality test actually. Damn accurate one.’



‘Oh wow! Quick tell me! What’s my personality? Oh wait!’


‘What?’


Does the type of liew lian matter?’


‘Well, it’ll be more accurate if it does.’


‘OK, I only eat D24 liew lian, not any other liew lians. Then only the full fruit, not the pre-packed one. Now More accurate liao hor?’


‘Yup.’


‘Okie! so what’s my personality?’




















‘You like to eat D24 Liew Lian.’



D24 Liew lian! Whole fruit! Not packed! Posted by Picasa






(Pregnant pause on MSN and then the guy wrote back….)






‘Yes and.......?’


‘That’s it.’



(Another pregnant pause, during which I left my seat to go pee for 5 min, lim chui and comb hair...........)







Then....
‘What you mean: That’s IT? Wah Lau! Damn lame lor. What kinda joke is that?!’




And he proceeded to type out about 5 racist jokes and 6 dumb blonde jokes furiously on MSN straight off his memory to feed me with to-tell-other-ppl-and-no-siah-suay-myself decent jokes.......




Actually, I really do mean what I say, fren. That’s it. That’s all there is. To me. I rent romance from the store in HV and periodically get charged extra because I always fail to return them on time. I eat my lunch in my cubicle, I pack yesterday’s leftovers because my mum is a bad cook and the canteen’s just too faraway. I used to sing when i bathed until a blackout occurred just when i hit a high-note one day.


I’m just a boring workslave trying her best to go through life with as much excitement as a stack of romance books, packed lunches and humming while bathing can provide.





Which is why when the sun sets and the lights turn on and I’m in the comforts of home, I blog. I blog my life when something interesting hits me. I blog abt the past when something triggers it. I blog abt others. I blog abt me. And I blog for my readers who understood that the voice-over JBP song originally started out as a bunch of jokey requests left by you guys after the first voice-blog.





That, incidentally, is the reason why I don’t usually update much. I blog as Life happens and there’d be days on end that nothing of interest happens. It is also a pathetic way of blog-survival, I’m almost constantly working on nothing to provide the desired fodder. As according to the Way-of-the-Flutter-Flutter, everyday I wait for Inspiration to hantam me over the head.




Sometimes the aim is good and I get a flying tackle, sometimes it just misses to whack another lucky bastard.....




Since I'm not into goth nor suicidal nor like to blog abt sad stuff, my entries are mostly a compilation of the funny happenings and any interesting pasts in my Life.




Hence it acts as a compact morale-booster to remind me that happy things did indeed happen to me in times when I hit one of Life's potholes. Yes, rather like a flower-press. Brings a smile to my face :).




Which is also the reason why this conversation was being held:



‘Your rendition of the JPB song damn funny know? I laugh like crazy when you went 'Oops'! Very entertaining!’


To which I said, a bit too truthfully (but hoping to be overruled), ‘Well, blogs tend to be more interesting than the real person….’


To which the person replied without pause, straight-faced, ‘Very true.’










.....Choujidan.... -_-*









I’m glad to have met certain people and they very recently, in fact only yesterday, lightened me up with their glitzier lifestyle (read: eat, drink and be merry).


Frankly, other than the preoccupation of sexual craze resulting from sex deprivation, a stash of porn, a precious sacred Kama Sutra-Illustrated and a really horrible singing voice, I am without any other known vices.



Not because I think they are morally wrong. But because I just can’t hold my liquer, I don’t know how to count the odds in gambling and smoke gives me a headache.



Hopefully, their life has not been dimmed by mine.

Out!

AKK




Incidentally, that’s also why I don’t like being ‘tomorrow-ed’, I think some ppl think I did my cover becos I wanted my fame and fortune, but pls, let it be clear now that I don't need it, neither want it. I've had it last time and didn't like it. (I never thought I actually needed a disclaimer like this...but I think I better put it down). I'm getting some really freaky strange comments as it is, which I don't enjoy.



While most of these posts are happy ones, I can’t possibly go through my life always churning out happy, shiny entries. Life does not run this way and sometimes, although I’m happy, it’s hardly bloggable. This time, it’s just because I’m in the company of a great fren after sneaking out of the office ard lunctime, binged at 2 different cafes, an atas restaurant and a fricking cold pub all in a day.


I managed to meet another fren who is damn cute and funny herself and who wasn’t that pissed that I made her wait 1 hour for me. Then, in the course of said-day, I met more new frens, drank my first red, had my first bite of damn atas lamb chop and down a vodka lime wearing a fleece jacket. This kind of life and company doesn’t come everyday…



So thank you all, especially to the original 2 frens, for the great time I’ve had!


I should also say 'We should do this often!' but then only one of them is Singapore-bound.




Oh heck, see u in Dec then.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

AKK's debut Album!


Debut Finally Out!!! Eagerly Anticipated! Posted by Picasa



Hi all!


AKK has finally released a singles entitled 'I want my Jih Pa Ban', inclusive of a full length hokkien gwa and a short 5 sec remix. an additional bonus track of 'Vision of Love' originally sung by Mariah Carey is also available in here!

Listen now and be amused disgusted in pain amazed!


Commentary, pls listen before any further action.


AKK's full length JPB song


Special Remix 5secs

Bonus track 'Vison of Love' by Mariah Carey


Privacy protected! Singer is not resposible for any ear heamorrhage, deafness, mutations nor twitching limbs. Listen with caution. Treat your PC/Lappy/iMac with respect. Always know where the 'mute' button is at all times.....


out!

AKK

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Dammit!

Another Casualty! It's turning out to be a frigthening contagion....


When will it be my turn?

.......


Down and out,

AKK :(

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Why Ang Ku Kueh is Ang Ku Kueh…

Hi al!


Many have speculated that it is because my Sirname is Ang, I’m Nonya and I love my Peranakan desserts...........



Well, ppl, you can’t be further away from the truth............




And the Truth, is more inane than you think............








***************************************
*In sec 2....*




Class president: Oy, Kueh, we have to design a T-shirt for our class this year leh.

Kueh: er…why u telling me?

Class president: becos we all know u very artistic and talented and can depend on you for a great design.

Kueh: oh wow…thanks for the compliment.

Class president: and also because the whole class all drew lots during recess yesterday and you got the only paper slip with the red dot out of 35.

Kueh: eh? I got chosen? .... But I was on MC yesterday.

Class president: well, as the class representative, I drew for you mah.

Kueh: …….

Class President: Anyway, we class 2I, so make sure u get a good class name. Done?

Kueh: Okie, Autocrat.

Class President: That’s Dictator to you, girl.





*Next day………*




Kueh: hey all! I’ve got a few class names I’m gonna read out, okie? So just raise your hands to the names you like best and we shall make it a true democratic societal decision.
*clears throat*



Kueh: Here goes! I in Class 2I stands for

1. Intense

2. Incandescent….Hur hur….

3. Indignant

4. Inside-out….we only allowed to wear the shirt during sports-day mah….hur hur

5. Ignorance….no, I didn’t read wrongly lah…

6. Igneous…..

*pause*

no, not Ingenious, Loh-Mai-Gai........ Ig-nee-ous. Like rocks? Yes, Rocks! Like we 2-Igneous, rite? So our class Rocks lah.............hur hur............yah..........Quite brilliant hor........

7. Indigenous..........
*another pause*

Yes yes, as in In-dig-gee-nous ppl, like the Aboriginals in Australia and the orang laut in Malaysia… we also indigenous to the class wat…Natives of Class 2I mah….hur hur…yah, this one also brilliant….




And now my Favourite one, which I already have a ready-made design for, of which I’ve already customed the font and sizing for and which, if you choose it, I shall immediately call the shop to ‘ok’ the printing of 35 shirts for…ready?





8. .........Ikan Bilis!














*Silence…Crickets in the background*




Kueh: OKie, now, we take the votes, just in case you guys forget the words we are voting for, I’ll write the last one down on the board…




*10 minutes later…*




Kueh: No? Really no? U sure about this? Dun wan ‘Ikan Bilis’? It’s quite cute wat! Why u all so stubborn! Cannot! ‘Ingenious’ so ordinary! It’s not even on the list! Who say it’s better than ‘Ikan Bilis’. I heard that, Zhu-Bee-Beh! Don’t call me Chairman Kueh! I hamtam u! I make you sing Mari-kita! President! Tell the class to accept ‘Ikan Bilis’! No Ikan Bilis, not shirt! Hah! See what u can do about that?!
*small scuffle*

Kueh: President? President? Oy! What u doin’?! Unhand me this instant! You guys are making a big mistake! It’s a conspiracy! I dun want to go toilet break! I hear u, Hum-Chee-Peng! I’m pissed, not piss! Argghh!! I demand a recount! I demand artistic freedom! Arrrgghhh…



*2 months later …. *




Kueh: *bored and sarcastic* please come collect your ‘Ingenious’ shirts, very ‘Ingenious’ your shirts are, ‘Ingenious’-ly original, no one could guess class 2I is 2-‘Ingenious’. Ohh Noo….so inspiring, we’ll win the competition for best name definitely; after all, we are so ‘ingenious’ to name ourselves ‘ingenious’. Oh yes, so much better-sounding than the cute, salty Ikan Bilis …I so agree….



*sniggering in the background...*



Kueh: Oy! I heard u, Ang-Dau-Teng! You think your art so good, issit? U know how long it took me to change the design from Ikan Bilis to ‘ingenious’ or not? Huh?! You know how difficult it is to colour the design or not, I got draw rainbow also! See the nice arch, that’s the rainbow! What u know about art?! Wah lau! U blind! Norhhhh, this arch! Here! Ooooo….sarcastic now, aren’t we, Ew-Zha-Kueh! So it’s a white slab! My fault, issit? The shop only can do black/white mah! Blame me! Everything blame me! You guys need me, I shall be hiding in the toilet crying my eyes out!













*1 year later, sec 3….*



New Class president: ay, I hear u designed the T-shirt for class 2-Ingenious.

Kueh: Yup, not bad, right, the T-shirt?

New Class President: The design Ok lah, but the naming was fantastic!

Kueh: ……

New Class President: So, how about designing a T-shirt again this year?

Kueh: Do I get carte blanche?

New Class President: Huh?

Kueh: I mean, do I get the right to finalise all details?

New Class President: Why, sure! Democratically, of cos.

Kueh: Okie! I’ll do it!


New Class president: Great! So get a list of names for 3A and present them to the class by next week. Deadline for T-shirt is 2 months.











*2 months later….*




Kueh: *bored and sarcastic* Go on, come collect your ‘Awesome’ shirts. Very ‘Awesome’ shirts they are…inspiring, is ‘awesome’. *yawn* Absolutely spewing with creativity. Yes, make my day, let me re-design the T-shirt all over again! ‘Ang Ku Kueh’ is a damn fine name what... Soft, squishy and sticky, wat’s there not to like?


*whispering in background*




Kueh: Oh great! I heard you, Lek-Tau-Teng! It's not my fault the Ang ku kueh design became 2 big white blobs in front mah, the shop does black/white only wat! My fault it looked like bra cups, issit?! I may be relegated to vice-T-Shirt chairman now, but I still can wallop your sorry ass! Wanna piece of me?!! Huh?! Come and get me!!!



*scuffling...*



Kueh: Yeeeeaaaaaaaaa! I kick your butt! Kick kick! Class president? What are you doing?! Unhand me! Noooo..............I want Ang Ku Kueeehhhhh.........


*class door slams…..Screaming subsides…….*




My dream was unfulfilled, so this is why I call my self Ang Ku Kueh







Out!


AKK

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Mission impossible - The view to a Kill...

hi all!!!

Recently, A and I went out again..... of cos, no need to say, we held hands this time. I feel like a 15 yr old on her first date, can? The feeling is fabulous and as long as u dun look at my face, u’d probably think I’m that age, the way I was behaving.

It was quite disgusting, but I cannot help. Every single little thing about him makes me happy. See him smile make me happy. See his hand clasp mine, happy.....see him wear polo-tee again, happy.......See him eat McDonald’s Big and Tasty.....happier........






Huge mouthfuls with slow chewing, utterly enjoying every bite.....







If he makes love the way he eats, I kena strike lottery........Oooooo......






I admit that there were other things to be happy abt. As I said the last time, A is my PE teacher crush from Uni, since he’s a swimmer hailing from AC. And we do know their supposed reputations, don’t we? *wink*


Actually, it’s all a local urban myth lah. The one that says that AC swimmers got damn bloody lovable bodies (this is not an R(A) site, or I would have said something cruder).


Muahahaha…then it’s pretty obvious what we are gonna talk abt, rite?

Today’s topic is abt ---------Mission-impossible-------the assignation to peek on A’s ‘supposed’ washboard abs.



Does he or does he not have any?




*dum- dum- DUMMMM......*



All the while we went out, talked, behave like frens, fingers brushing each other or hands clasping, he’s probably thinking:
AKK is so peaceful and serene, even shy, what a decent girlfren I’ve got.


He'll never know that the real AKK's mind is as dirty as a toxic waste dump. It has to be the many years of living in repression and sex-deprivation (26 bloody years of it!).


And come on lah, let's be frank, who ever likes a prudish blogger, ya? Why, I'm not prudish, hell no! in fact, while he’s sitting there so calmly munching off on his Big and Tasty, I was eyeing him like he’s my up-sized Beef Whopper.........


Hot Damn! There was a million different ways that sweet kiss could have spewed into something sleazier, dirtier and much more exciting-er......


And best of all, this glorious Swimmer is ALL MINE!!!! MINE!!!!


Woohooo!!!!!!


So since sooner or later, he shall be bodily mine (I believe in not wasting time), I’m kinda dying to find out if he still and does have this startling deep abs from the last time I saw him at the pool.


Not that it seriously matters lah, but it’d be nice to know, rite? So I can prepare myself, rite? And not faint from excitement and miss the whole experience, RITE? Yea! I know you guys would understand!




He had his throat bared in the hot weather.........


Gosh.....if only polo tees had more buttons......... So I was nibbling on a French fry when my eyes just started wondering down his chest......


I was trying to ‘power up!’ my X-ray vision when I suddenly heard him say,



‘What are you doing?’




Obviously he found my squinting eyes and fierce concentration on his stomach slightly disconcerting. Either that or he knows exactly what I was thinking of, because he followed that question up with a lazy smile.....


I hastily powered-down and gave him a slightly cock-eyed smile back..........mission failed first round.......


Throughout the rest of the date, which involved shopping in Orchard and a movie, I was constantly trying to brainstorm ways to find out the existence of that elusive flatbed of flesh. We were holding hands, so I tried bumping myself against him a couple of times, trying to get the flat of my clasped hand to accidentally brush his abs, before turning around to scold a bewildered shopper for pushing too close....


I was failing miserably, although I think the bumps were having a wondrous effect on him. He became more concerned with my heels, asking me to be careful when climbing stairs and in 1 case, pointing out a 10cm open drain and informing me that it’s 1 m ahead of me.........


But in all these cases, his hand would snake around the small of my back to guide me along, so I guess it’s a bonus of sorts .......



The end of the day ended with a nice dinner at Raffles Hotel. By then, I was totally discouraged. Nothing sort of announcing it outright my intentions could get my hands that piece of (still supposed) treasure.



He must have noticed my downcast eyes glumly looking at the cars whizzing by as we walked back, for he started asking, ‘Hey Dear (yayy!), why so glum? was dinner terrible?’


‘Oh no no! Dinner’s Great!’ I perked myself and smiled winsomely, after all it wasn’t his fault I’m such a dunce. ‘And you? how's dinner? OK?’


‘The best!’ he sparkled, warming to his favorite topic, ‘I've never been so full!’



Then without further ado, he did it:


In front of my eyes, he matter-of-factly put his hand on his tummy and began to rub it in cirlces..........



He was using the hand that was holding mine.........



The back of my hand felt like it was rolling pass .......3 .........humungous ............speedbumps.......



Going up.........bonk bonk bonk! Coming down........bonk bonk bonk!



I was in thrilling euphoria just imagining the million hundred images how his speedbumps (new name for his abs!) looked like.......I felt faint all over.....







Then I saw his face......he had that lazy smile again........


Seeing me blush at the excitment his tummy alone had caused, he burst out laughing while he continued rubbing the back of my hand against those speedbumps, trying to set it on fire ......


I also started laughing through the blaze of deep-red blushing before we ended up giving each other a big hug.....I was beyond redemption and beyond embarassment....



‘Arrghh!! How did you know?!’




‘Since you start bumping me even when there were no crowds and you were scolding thin air......’




‘Damn! So embarrassing.’




‘Don’t worry, next time I’ll try bumping back to see if you were wearing a maximiser.’




‘Hahahahahah...I'm...’




Don’t tell me yet! I’ll find out myself….Next time, just ask, OK? I try my best to accommodate, hahahaha........’



‘OK.....erm……can I put my hand under your shirt?’



‘Be my guest.........’





And that, frens, is how I found out, with my own hand, for the first time, how a 6 pack felt like, a case of Mission Impossible becoming Possible. Anything is Possible, even to somebody like me........



Out!



AKK





Heheheh.....anyone caring to expound views on the AC urban myth is free to do so. I'm always open to opinions about other schools, espcially if they come attached with pictures of hotbods to prove a point. pls send team photos (must be in swimming trunks) to akkueh@gmail.com. I'll post them up.



Sunday, August 14, 2005

Ay ay! Got microphone or not? Lend, can?

hi all!!!



very exciting! after a few months of rushing after ppl to understand some technical know-how, I finally got my own voice blog !!!!!




yayyyy!!! (or not)





AKK nervous nervous nervous..... Posted by Picasa





that's all! enjoy! (or not)


out!


AKK

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Hokkien and proud of it....

Hi all!


today I just wanna introduce u guys to this hokkien song. I've heard it like 5 times already and already I feel very glad I am a Hokkien Lang. Like the french language, which is so chio and atas that even when the French swear at you, u think they are being friendly, Hokkien dialect is the devil's counterpart. Hokkien langs sound like they just cursed ur ancestors when they only wanna be friends.

in case u dun understand, Galvin's entry includes a comprehensive and very literal translation in English, so no worries.


As with all Hokkien songs hor, this is one of the quite good ones liao. In fact, my bro just told me that the KaraOke lounge he went to had this song too! oh yea! so I'm learning the lyrics properly rite now for my crooning session next weekend. My frens are sooooo going to die of asphxiation.....

For all those who are happily Hokkien already, pls go click on the 'ZAP!' button and tiah gwa!


Proud to be Hokkien! wah lau! wah lan! wah lan-eh!

AKK

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Promises are to be kept!

Hi all!!!



I promised an NDP preview blog! here it is! i admit this is late, but hell, u'll forgive me in the end....



I went to the NDP preview with A. Both of us are virgins.......NDP virgins, I mean (hahaha…what were u thinking ay? AY??!!). For all those years that he worked in the SAF, he’s only ever had the NDP preview tickets twice in his Life. 1st time was last year, which he told me he gave to the sweet cleaner aunty to go with her uncle.




Why? Becos he didn’t have anyone to go with.........



....Oh gosh......can somebody find me a hammer to whack this guy? Who cares about having somebody beside them at the NDP grounds when so many exciting things are happening right in front at the stage??!!







The sea of Red Patriots!


So when I knew he had the tickets, I shamelessly invited myself along by telling him I want to go. For a moment there, he was quite astounded that I’m so straightforward, until I continued,



‘If u dun wan to go with me and dun wan to go yourself.....Can u pass me both tickets?’



I’m so bad lor........But I never ever had the chance to watch NDP live with my very own eyes leh. Once I was involved in the proceedings all dressed as an uprooted carrot (no kidding......), but we were always asked to squat outside the padang until it’s time for us to run in and jiggle, so I never truly saw the whole event unfolding...........


So this time, I open my piggy eyes big-big.


The things I see:

a) This pimply young man all dressed in white shirt, white pants and brown belt (PAP get-up!) appeared at the top of the stairs of the VIP area and walked down, pretending to be the PM during a ‘simulation’. It was clear he was embarrassed becos Gurmit Singh kept referring to him as PM Goh.

It was also clear that he was badly tekan-ed for the job becos he looked a bit lost. Another young guy simulated the entrance of the MPs. This one obviously volunteered himself to appear on National TV, becos he walked to his supposed seat while waving to the crowd like the Queen..........



b) During the inspection, 1 navy SAF personnel who had been standing on attention just dropped onto the tarmac face-first and zonked out. Medics rushed from 2 entrances and carted him off in front of the Parliament Speaker..........




c) The tarmac they placed over the padang was wet with the rain........so actually, the participants were slipping and sliding all over the wet floor. One lad dressed as a flower tripped and created a slight domino effect becos he was the first person running into the padang and being a flower in full bloom, was ‘spread’ very widely.
So we saw a row of big flowers go down in a small heap over each other.

We also saw one model bird do a nose-dive when his man-holder fell, so the pole was snapped into 2 and he had to finish the dance with his birdie at half mast from everyone else’s. (eh...........sounds a hell lot worse written down......)





d) We saw a bunch of little sec school kids dressed as bunnies running across the padang. Since it’s a bunny suit, u can imagine that thing got no road holding, so they kinda tumble over each other also....it’s very cute and disturbing to see at the same time......





e) The fireworks.........enough said.





Endless Fireworks...


Half-way between the fireworks, A turned and shouted something to me. Since I was busy doing the following things .......


- mouth-gaping
- eye open big big
- neck craning at the sky
- screaming and cheering with each burst of fireworks.




Obviously I wasn’t listening...........I just went ‘Yayyyy!!!!’ and ‘Woohoooo!!!!!’ and Screamed (!!!) Every time the sky bursts in hundred different colours. So he shouted again and we kinda went back and forth for a while.........




‘What?!’




‘Will u.........be.........’




‘Huh?! Oh look! Big pink flower in the sky!!!!! Yayyyy!!!!!!!’




‘I said!..........be............?’



‘OOOhhhhhh!!!! See that?!! See that?!!! So pretty!!!!! Green!!!!’ *scream*







the green fireworks....





Then I guess A got a bit exasperated with the whole padang for the screaming patriots (me included), so he turn back to face the fireworks and suddenly, I felt his fingers gliding onto my palm (the one not frantically waving the flag).






I froze and looked at him........






Knowing he finally had my full attention, he turned to me and grinned.






And squeezed my hand in his.






And in the midst of all the ongoing fireworks and the cheering, my world went slow-mo, like it does when something important is going to happen............i cannot hear him, but I see his lips mouth the words..........












.......Will.......... you............. be.........mine............?










As suddenly as it slowed, Sound rushed back again in a whoosh.....I turned to see if anyone else had notice that Matrix-moment, but the crowd was cheering on and the fireworks kept going. Only A and me had been trapped momentarily in a silent world..........








His eyes locked mine and held my gaze back. I felt his cool palm grip more tightly.







I could feel my face lit up in bright red blush of heat at my sudden shyness and inability to speak. I let the moment run a while longer than was necessary.........in the absence of an answer, he suddenly seemed less sure. At the same time, I can see his neck colouring up like me......







1st time I saw the fireworks burst this close to my face.....

1st time I watch the para-troopers churn the sky directly above my head......

1st time I was caught with hitherto-unfounded bashfulness.....

1st time I saw A so uncertain......





It was a day of many revelations.







Then I see his eyes begin to slide away.............I felt his palm loosen............








During times of stress, sometimes the body takes over because the brain refuses to function. Whatever it was that made my brain stopper my mouth, I did not know, but in that instant his hand slid away, my body decided to free its restraints............








I reached over to grasp his escaping hand and with my other hand (still holding the flag), I palmed his face back to me............








You cannot let one guy do all the work just becos you are a girl................






I held his face close to me and kissed him at the corner of his surprised mouth........






Sometimes a gal just has to take the initiative........


..............And make a grab for happiness with her own 2 hands.










Out!




AKK

Monday, August 01, 2005

Haven’t u heard of the TauSuan theory?

EDITED!!!!!!




Hi all!!!



A fren of mine has been chatting with me on MSN recently. He was modestly trying to get me to understand that he has no admirers. Since I know him and know his vital stats...........ok, so I dun know his vital stats...........but will BMI do? He’s 172 and 59 kg, so u’ll do the maths. We are talking abt a pretty fit person here who is not skinny and pleasingly turned out. It’s a wonder why somebody who looked like he does can actually be so clueless.....



We were going in circles. Me telling him he’s really quite a catch and him telling me otherwise, until I got fluffed! I’ve decided to pass on to him an ancient knowledge that I’ve gleaned from the sunny hills of Bukit Timah during my scholarly days. I’ve decided I shall forward him this knowledge that has been founded by me and me alone, in order to bring him peace and happiness....



And of cos, to make him quit this inferiority complex.....



Then I decided, after he has received enlightenment..........why stop now?



I find that all of us have the tendency to fall back on our small nuances of errors. It is true that we can only see the tiny misgivings of ourselves and cannot understand that on the whole, we all are incredibly attractive.......



Yes, it's true! Believe me! Becos I shall show u now!



Drum roll, pls *rrrrrrrrrrr…….*



I, AKK, humbly present to you all,
The TauSuan (aka Yellow bean paste aka TS) theory




Once upon a time,

In the faraway land of BT hill, there lived a nun in a communist co-ed monastery named Kueh. Kueh studied ancient texts in a classroom environment filled with young novices like her. Among these novice was a young monk named TauSuan. While he was not out-right bullish, he managed to make everybody feel stupid abt themselves, not becos he was a crackpot or a smartass. TauSuan basically just likes to laugh at anyone who is talking to him in a slightly offensive manner.


To Kueh, it meant that everytime she had to talk to him, he always made her feel stoopid by laughing and pointing at her for no reason at all.



Soon, it was obvious to Kueh that TauSuan cannot be tolerated, so she left him alone to demonstrate his laughing streak on other novices.


Then one day, Kueh overheard the other class nuns discussing about TauSuan during communal lunch. Curious, she shifted her porridge bowl over and joined the conversation.......



To her horror, in the space of 10 minutes, she found out an absolutely horrendous revelation. Monk TauSuan had, without his knowledge, acquired the hearts of 5 nuns and made them moon over him (and their uneaten porridge). That many admirers, all of whom were decent sweet nuns, all of them, without even trying to be nice!!



Nun Kueh felt totally suckered.



She was so bewildered, she hurriedly left to quiet her thoughts under the monastery’s only living Palm tree. She was so bewildered by the news that she proceeded to kick out a high-order monk also seeking enlightened under a particularly shady spot and begun a process of meditating to decipher the meaning of this outrage.


Now, it should be said that Kueh believed herself to be a decent, likeable person, yet she often wondered why no monks ever profess an interest in her. Why therefore, can somebody like TauSuan, received such undivided attention from 5 gushing nuns?



With that question in her mind, she became stone and did not move nor speak to anyone, except to answer nature’s call and copy lecture notes.........


One day, after a hard rain, Kueh opened her crusty eye from her shaded spot and beheld the wonder of the sun rays. In that instant, it hit her like a big hammer.......her enlightenment had come! She has found the answer! With a laugh, she leaped up and down and around the palm and hugged the slightly sunburned high-order monk sitting in the sun, grateful for the insight.


Kueh ran back into the monastery for her ink brush and bamboo and Thus, begun writing the formulation of the TauSuan theory......




theory states that:

In any given time or space, a person has

5 x TS = number of secret admirers whom he/she did not know about,

this situation occurs where TS stands for TauSuan, which is a factor that denotes a whole number >1 and which final value (i.e.answer) equates to admirers that is unbeknownst to the person.



When Kueh received her highest dlang order and became a full fledged nun, her students came to her and asked her many questions:


Mistress, what is the TS factor?

The TS factor is a variable value that increases with a person’s worth. The TS value is set at a baseline of 1. Humanity has hope becos Tausuan actually has 5 admirers .

Mistress, why must TS factor be greater than 1?

Because normal ppl do not laugh at others and made them feel stupid. TS himself represents the value of 1. If u do not have such practices, your TS factor shall be greater than 1. It also means that by default, we all have at least 10 admirers.

But mistress, I do not have even 1 admirer.

*bonk gently on head* Ah…it is obvious that you did not study hard enough, disciple. TauSuan theory is the ultimate theory because it cannot be proven wrong. The TauSuan theory represents the number of admirers that u garner without your knowledge. If u know u’ve got 1, then u’ve got at least 11 admirers mooning over you.


Satisfide with the answers, the novices applaud the venerable Nun Kueh and her wisdom.



Moral of the story?





You have at least 5 people who likes you that you know nuts about. So feel loved. U are attractive in ways that u’ll never know, in ways that your crushes themselves or the rest of the world cannot understand. So Be more Confident of yourself. You are more Attractive than you think.




Out!
AKK
TS has since left the monastery after recieving his highest dlang order. He is now in the highlands of the Himalayas meditating in the snow and laughing at Yaks....

Saturday, July 30, 2005

I kena whacked with a shoe...

correction!: i whacked stars 2 times, but i was aiming the other baton for Vanna, so vanna, u got whacked with stars also! hehehe...sorry, i blur....

thanks for telling me, abt the error, Jaywalk.

AKK


hiya! I shall take this short time to plonk the entry on my shoe history.


I got whacked by Jaywalk, Jellygirl and Ed, Edd and Eddy, so I shall bow to their wishes and tell the whole world where i got all my corns from....

total no. of shoes:

i fail maths! can't count! muahahaha....no lah, i too lazy to go open the shoe cabinet....but i think at least 6 pairs lah, not a lot becos my mum screams at me to pls tidy up my shoes, but i never do, so i dun buy more to aggravate her.


Last shoe I bought:


er....i think it's the yellow strappy one below from tracce....bloody hell, buy already, then all the oter colous start coming out! arrgghhh....could have gotten a nice pink one!....

how many shoes beneath my workdesk?


4 pairs! all lab work shoes to avoid spills on my naked toes. it's sad becos we can never take them home to wash, because they are considered biohazard stuffs...so i buy and buy and buy for the lab....once in, cannot go out into the world liao. waste money...






my shoes!!! Posted by Picasa



the above are a few of my fav shoes....i love Carlo Rino, and i bought the gold and silver mules from this brand. I used to wear only WHITE shoes and sandals because I got super tanned (but thick) legs, but now I diversify so i can wear more white clothings, hahaha....

the white mules are also from Carlo Rino. My papillio Birkenstock (english garden-cream) is a birthday gift from my frens...they very nice...super-expensive siah.


Okie dokie!



here's the shoe baton to the following pple!

Yan
Vanna
tempestblue
frenie
Zhebin
Wisps of stars

ay....i know i send to quite a few pple hor...but who cares! the more the merrier!Pls dun do if dun want ah! it's ok one! :)



Out!


AKK

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Sorry sorry...

Hi all!


I’m into the last phases of my report-writing. Soon, I’ll be handing up this precious last draft over to the school for a month of examination and perusal. Right now, I’m bascically super-scared that something might go wrong at this juncture which will delay the handing in, so I’m, like, burning joss-sticks, praying, wearing lucky green coloured clothes and avoiding swearwords. Hopefully, the Higher Being above knows that I’m making some effort towards being a better person than normal and reward me with a smooth hand-over....



But knowing myself, being better than normal for me probably makes me just a normal person in Singapore.....ahem....ok, maybe still slightly below par....



Back to religion (which i swore not to touch...but this is different), in actual fact, given the scientific nature of my background, I’d go so far as to say that I’m pretty much placed under the category of ‘Buddhist, Free-Thinker-Inclined’ rather than just plain ‘Buddhist’.



If I really want to pick and pick on it like a ruptured pimple, I basically dun have a religion, but perhaps, an education on the tenets of how to live my Life Happy and Contented.....which i tot i found out how, but apparently not, judging by how nevry and anxious I'm acting over a silly report ....



So, beats me now, why I still feel the need to pray to the Goddess of Mercy to pls pls pls! let nothing happen and that my report can be handed up by the deadline without mishaps. (Kuan Yin! It's not a silly report! I dun mean it! i need ur guidance and help!)



Kam siah Kam siah!




*pray pray pray* * meditate meditate…..*


*tonk! tonk! tonk!...* That's the sound of AKK Kneeling and kowtowing*




OTOH, I’m sorry for the sporadic updates, especially to Nadnut, hehehe…. But seriously hor, I cannot make it right now. I eat, sleep, drink, play my report all over my head. I’m hardly fit company for anyone nowadays and my friends have abandoned me for better pursuits like having more saliva....asking me out now is like wasting body fluid, heheeh........



BUT!!! Next week, I’m on leave for 1 whole blissful week! I’ve got a few stuff to write, so u guys just hang around and stay tuned. But for ur sake hor, dun waste too much energy finger-exercising on my blog until 1st Aug.



Things to look out for when I start blogging again!



1..............NDP preview with pics!!! I’ve got the tickets! That’s what happens when ur suitor comes from SAF, hahahahaahah!!!! Weeeee!!!!!



2............Mission impossible....Ab alert! The mission to take a peek at somebody’s 6-pack (and we all know who I’m talking about)! Hahaaha...after reading this, u’ll not wan to read my NDP preview entry liao.....so I’ll put this entry behind the preview......hahaha



3............My new job, my late hammie’s death anniversary, my cousin’s dengue fever..etc etc etc…



4............And the reason Why I call myself Ang Ku Kueh...Is it possible? AKK is finally revealing herself.....



And more to come. I’m sorry if anyone has been coming here in vain. I’ve not even been online also, so I’m extremely guilty if I made anyone suffer withdrawal symptoms, ahahah...but I dun think so lah. Nonya kuehs are not that addictive... i should know...I mean, I've never suffered cold turkey over myself at all...ahahahah.......


okok...I've to get back and save u some eye-watering nonsensical pourings like this one. 12 hours straight with eyes stuck to PC is NOT healthy....



Wish me luck and c ya all on 1st Aug!!!


out!!

AKK

PS. sorry i did not visit ur blogs! but it is definite that i'll read every back-dated entry like I've been doing all the while! Love u all! :)

Friday, July 22, 2005

Hi all! No time! Battery going flat!

Hi all!


(The entry below was done on Friday when i was 'eating snake' in my office...)


Just want to tell you guys that I've been so fricking busy that I've not been able to blog, much less read and catch up on you guys. I have since finished my presentation yesterday, so damn happy! then I though i could take a break today to do some reading up. Stupidly, I did not bring the power adapter of my Darling Lappy, so right now, i'm typing as fast as i could (about 10 w/min...ahem) and counting down th power gauge till the whole thing dies on me...

It's now at 31 %...


So shitty! i had my hot steaming mug of EXTRIM coffee beside me and a humungous cupcake from Spinelli's ready for my enjoyment on the last day of the week. I'm suppose to jia zhua today!



Then I check my blog and realised I've not been writing since Sunday! ahhh!!! so I have to deal with churning out a blog entry first! AAAhhhhh!!! the thing is, while i extremely love to nose into other ppl's business, I'm truly lazy when it comes to updating my own blog, but seriously, like a diary, things have to be written down...



Analogy:
My blog is like the Cookie Monster and I'm the supplier for Nabisco....
Cookieee cookiieee!!!!!! Munch munch munch.....
.........



But anyway, I've got lotsa stuff to share today! 1st up, Thank goodness WonkyTonk got her blog back....the last we need right now is a blogicide not by the blogger herself. geez...of all the bitches you can meet in the office, her co-worker takes the bloody greasy cake! If it were me hor (i.e wonkytonk), I'd be planning many back-stabbing opps to get back at her! here's a list

1. find out her favorite foods and synchronise my watch so that whenever she buys her favorite meek-pok, I'll be one step ahead of her and buy all the pok from the mee....then she can watch me as I, goggled-eyed, eat every bit!

I wouldn't mind gaining 10 kg just to watch her watch ME hungrily! hah! Sacrifices Must be made!


2. Of cos, I can also take the last cookie from the jar, last choc from the box and stock up my own larder with her stash of instant mee when gaining those excess weight. So that when her:

---diet is a success and she wants to celebrate with a cookie,

---PMS comes and she needs a choc fix,

---did stock-take thru out the night and needed supper,

She wun noe where to go!


In any case, I'll also add salt to her kopi, put hair gel into her comb, take away the staplets from her staple, remove the toner when she wants to use the printer...


or perhaps when i run out of ideas, I shall cough and sneeze into her face, especially when i have a flu. When I am sick, I shall crawl to the office anyways and hang around her like a pontianak...




I'd do all these! beware!!!!! Do not make the Nonya Confectionery ANGRYYY! GGRRRR.......


power at 20 %......


Shit!!! write faster!!!


Change topic!!! Got story to share! very meaningful!
........



Once upon a time, a Buddhist monk went to a faraway place to set up a temple. believing in giving his all, he decided he shall lay every single brick of the temple, an ultimate show of his devotion to the teachings.


So everyday, for months and years, he laid the bricks ceaselessly and carefully. He piled the cement properly and made sure the bricks lined up beautifully.


On and on he worked, tireless untill he finished all the 4 walls. Finally, he completed the structure. He walked around and admired the new temple that he had built and he was happy.


Then he rounded a corner to the courtyard and saw!, to his horror! a single brick jutting out of the wall!. he was distraught and upset! he tot the temple was perfect! but it wasn't! and he was shamed...



Damn! 15%..


When the temple was officially opened, the abbot came to visit. The monk was very nervous while he showed the abbot around. The abbot was extremely impressed and praised the monk, but noted that while the temple seemed truely magnificent, the novice monk seemed utterly dejected...

When the abbot and novice turned to the coutyard, the novice took a breath and waited for the abbot's judgement on the last wall of the temple with it innocuosly single brick jutting out.


The novice bowed low and trembled,

'reverend, the brick is crooked, this temple is not beautiful, Im sorry i did not lay it properly.'

to which the reverend replied,

'young one, i see the devotion of your love and am strengthed by it...this is the most beautiful temple i've ever seen.'










Moral of the story?

Moral no 1, the morally correct version:

We always focus so much on the small negative aspects of ourselves that we lose the focus of the beauty of our being. We should not confine ourselves to looking at our tinniest faults and dwell on it, but stand back and admire ourselves for our greater goodness.











Moral no. 2, the politically correct version:

Only enlightened people like the abbot can see the big picture. The rest of humanity doesn't, so too bad.


incidentally, that brick? ruined the whole temple, monky-man, I'm sorry.




Out!


AKK

6 %........

___blip!______