Sunday, February 19, 2006

Chronicles of C Vol 1--Mature Men...

Update: I'm not dispensing advice lah! Just telling her the various actions I would execute if it was ME in HER shoes and the reasons WHY. 'me in her shoes' words are highlighted in yellow.....:)
A very unconventional post today. Leave your opinions on this, if you like but no rude stuff. :)

Hi all!

I went out with C on friday for a drinking session. It’s true that I don’t drink much, because it wipes out the pocket faster than you can say, ‘Gan-bai!!!’ Also, I usually don’t have a proper transport home and I don’t trust the cab driver to understand my slurs and deposit me safely to my parents’ arm in the dead of the night without whipping up my skirts and humping my prostrate body. Yes yes, blame it on my creative juices, if not my hope that men shall find me irresistible, lying there snoring their ears off.

So we 2 gals were in this pretty dead bar. In the shrouded dark corner, there are only us, a bunch of NSmen and 2 uncles. No lah, we weren’t there drinking with them lah, the dark corner is quite big, the NS guys and the uncles were watching a soccer match on the big screen plasma instead.

On the other hand, I was trying to down vodka to get drunk. C just let me in a big horrendous secret which made my eyes go the size of ham-chee-pengs and throat suddenly thirsty for another vodka-lime.

A few things about C….

1. she’s chio (C for chio)
2. she’s tall
3. she’s got a model’s bod (ie towards the skinny side, but men loved it….haiz…eat more can? Just to make ME feel better?)
4. she’s single
5. she even has a heart of gold

And the whole litany would start:
She looks so gorgeous! Why’s she still single?
She’s single? No fricking WAY!
How can such a nice gal be available?
She too picky issit?
She must have had a history.
Can I get her number?
What kind of men she looking for?

And finally, you get a fren like that?!

Choujidan….these would be the ppl who eventually get kicked from my list of ‘potential friends’. But the truth hurts, C is indeed and forever shall be an enigma to those who knows me and wonders about our frenship.

In a paradigm shift, the truth is now hurting my fren. C bemoans if there will be anyone for her. Her job is set in this company that doesn’t have a turnover rate, so the men are mostly old and married. She is so busy she doesn’t actively seek out a social life. The ppl whom she does meet are clients, another no-no, apart from them being also again old and married. The guys who do dig her are often too short, doesn’t share her interests, look at her with sex in their eyes or are simply too flabbergasted in her presence to remember their names.

Have I told you guys I ROMed already? I tot I would like to talk about it, but Jay beat me to the altar with a voice blog that was funnier than whatever I could have written, so thanks ah!

So now C is morosely counting the days she’ll be considered a spinster. Here her fren (me) is sitting beside her, almost miraculously attached and married in seemingly whirlwind amount of time, and she is, well…..

‘you’ll going to scold me if you knew.’

‘no no, don’t tell me! You are seeing a guy


‘and he’s Married.’

Silence then… ‘yes.’

‘And you guys had a date.’

‘ya…a few.’

‘did anything happen?’

‘er….define ‘anything’?’

‘good grief, you guys ‘romped’, didn’t you?’


‘nevermind, nevermind…..we’ll get to that later. Here’s the big question: did u KNOW he was married beforehand?’



Which, I feel, sums up her current squeeze pretty eloquently, I might say.

‘Did you two discuss about it?’

‘He doesn’t want to talk about it.’

With this answer, I signaled the waiter to get me another vodka lime…..I needed another drink badly.

At the expense of roping all men into a category and yet plonking every bit of penny I own, I’d say this man probably has a good wife. A good wife to keep the family afloat, leaves him free to do his work and possibly independent in caring for the kids, meaning there isn’t any big huge fault with her to warrant aggravation and a divorce. Why I say that? Because if there’s anything wrong in the marriage, he would have said something, if only to make C more willing to continue this relationship. Why not?

The thing is this: It’s easier to sian zabors this way. Tear down her defenses and puff smoke across her eyes, get her to like you for your easy charm and confidence and maturity, make her get attracted to your passionate, sexy eyes. Wait till she’s settled blissfully in the palm of your hands.

Then spring the surprise.

Well, actually he didn’t say it outright himself. A sense of self-preservation made C casually question him, and ding –dong!! Surprise! He’s confirmed her worst fears.

Is it any fault on the girl to then want to continue this relationship? Is it any fault of the lady to go between you and your family? You, who had engineered the whole set-up and anticipated that her response would be to continue because it’s too late to defend herself from an attractive, eloquent, confident man like you?

If she had known you are married first time you meet, did you think it’d be that easy? She wouldn't have touched you with a bargepole.

But I don’t censure her. Let’s face it lah, if I get angry, it’s against the guy for shutting up his mouth till it’s too late. She is my friend and I'm not her goaler.

It’s not as if she brainless and doesn’t know what she going into, rite?

And who should be the dispenser of morals anyway? Not me! I’m not particularly moral. I’m just a conformist to this gracious society called Humanity becos I’m too fricking scared to get my ass whipped in public should my dirty laundry be made to hang swinging in the breeze.

Into my 3rd vodka, I was contemplating my fren’s understandable confusion. Here comes a guy whose really great, carries himself effortlessly, is mature and liberal and makes her feel comfortable, but he’s married. It’s a low blow to keep it from her (the fucker!) but essentially it’s too darn late.

What to do?

'well, what would U do? If you were in my shoes?’

And I was stumped. I went to the restroom and walked by the bar to get another vodka. It didn’t work and I was stone-cold sober. It also meant I’m responsible for whatever’s coming out of my mouth at that point. It’s me, not the alcohol, that’s doing the talking.

And I say, ‘if he's really oh-so-attractive and pumps me full of lustful hormones, I think I would. That said, it has to be Pure unbrideled lust hor. And nothing else. Becos he isn’t gonna leave his family for anyone, never. No woman is worth an exchange of kids and an OK wife, or even an OK wife with no kids but with a joint ownership of a house. ‘Own free will’ hor, no guy would do it. No cheating woman would, for that matter either.’

‘God, woman, you’re so pragmatic.’

Oy, you’ll have to be, if u still want this. If you think you like him, really really like him, then don’t hor. Will get jealous every time he spends his hours away from you, you’ll get depressed and have shouting or cold shoulder matches and after all that unleased pent-up energy, he’ll not leave his wife, he’ll probably leave you, becos u are an emotional baggage he cannot afford to bear.


‘If you are sex-starved like me and if you think you like him just cos he’s a sex apparatus, then go ahead if you can take the step lah. Although he bears a bigger responsibility for his family’s own demise more than you do, becos he had the intention of going astray, U’ll have to understand that you are helping him perpetuate his infidelity. In the course of it, don’t care for him, don’t listen to his grouses with the wife and kids, don’t try to know or find out anything that can make you care to make his life better. Ignorance is Bliss. At the first sign of danger, run! Oh yah, and I'd go test for STD if I was you.’


‘Wah lau! Biology lah! Check for STD. You might not be his first and you won’t be his last. If he can get away with this, you might not even be the only one during this period. You’ll have really start checking your health and hope to God he doesn’t pass anything to you. Once it does, you’re gone.’

‘Oh wow…thanks ah….’

‘You’re welcome.’

It is a wonder that C still drove me home that night. She really could have left me in the bar in a huff, but she doesn’t.

A true testament to her love for me, to paint her such a crass picture of the whole thing and still let me get away with it.

But, I mean every word I say.

I started out wanting to discuss why women like older men when they are younger, and younger men when they are older….guess I digress.

Hey, fren, u take care and I support you in whatever decision you make and if u wan me to take this post down, just give me a call. This post is dedicated to you. Think carefully siah, you're on your own on this one.



Tuesday, February 14, 2006

V-day Surprise!!!

hi all!

Excruciatingly busy, hahaha, i cannot even begin to describe. Mostly when i finally end the work day, I just wanna go home and crash on the bed.

So here's an excerpt of a MSN chat with Fren Z on this happy Valentine's Day. While I'll be too fricking busy to allow this commercialisation to eke out my hard-earned money, I'm not adversed to the rest of the world hugging and kissing, hehehe...


msn virgin (not really liao) says:
guess wat

Z says:

msn virgin (not really liao) says:
this delivery man came to me with a big bouquet of flowers

Z says:

msn virgin (not really liao) says:
then ask me, 'are u xxx xxx xxx?'

msn virgin (not really liao) says:
i say, 'who?'

he say 'xxx xxx xxx'

Z says:

msn virgin (not really liao) says:
then I say 'Sorli, wrong person'

Z says:
aiyah... wasted.

wrong lumber

msn virgin (not really liao) says:
yah lor, deliveryman got lost, poor thing

Z says:

msn virgin (not really liao) says:
So I found out the addresses for him

Z says:


Muahahha....story of my life....excruciatingly short post also! that's it! Love ya all, my fellow valentines!!

AKK :)

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Tagged and tardy...:)

AAAHHH!!! Super Busy!!!! Tagged by Zhebin, thank you for your faith in me that I’ll come round to doing it. I guess it’s also a wake-up call to do something about the blog. Very sorry, what with all the work and the festivities!!! Afterall, now got a new family to visit liao….

In any case, here’s the stuuff!!!

4 jobs you've had in your life

- Art/Craft salesperson
- Art/Craft cashier
- Tutor
- Research Engineer….sounds so gung-ho hor, but I swear hor, it’s just mass downloading and reading fricking boring can-die journals on biocomputing…pui pui pui!!!

4 movies you could watch over and over

- First Wives Club
- Spirited Away

- The Incredibles
- Spongebob Squarepants-The Movie

4 TV shows you love(d) to watch

- CSI Miami
- House

- Numbers
Ahem…the sign of good life and SCV!!!

4 places you've lived in

- Clementi
- Boon Lay
- Jalan Boon Lay
- PGP Hostel…yea…I had a wild life…yea…Vodka sleepovers…yea….bunch of females in pyjamas…yea…and not a single MAN in sight!!! Arrgghh!!!

4 places you've been on vacation to

- KL
- Beijing to see the Forbidden City…one word…..WAAAHHHH….


- Gold Coast, Australia
- Honk Kong to stock up on manga

4 places you would rather be

- visiting museuems in different countries and buying antiques…haiz…
- visit any Biosphere as a guest or student, not tourist.

One day! I shall get there!!!

- Turkey before it gets much more dangerous
- Egypt for the pyramids….and not as a tourist, but invited to join an excavation…woohoo!!!

4 of your favourite foods

- Laksa, I drink the gravy, it’s the best part.


- Crabs, lobsters, but I too poor to have them….
- Chocolate cake with any type of liquor in it….lots of liquor.
- Dim sum, again too poor to have it often.

4 websites you visit daily

- My university homepage
- (ya! Surprise! Me too! I don’t even visit my own site daily….)

4 tagged

- Li-er
- Nadnut
- Jaschocolate
- Wally

That's it, guys! Thanks for the tag, Zhebin, and sorry all for the lack of busy my legs are quite neng from walking and standing whole day...*groan*



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