Saturday, October 29, 2005

I (and Lancerlord) am the Ultimate!!!

Hi all!

Just a short post today. First Nadnut,

My blog is worth $30,485.16.
How much is your blog worth?

then Jaywalk,

My blog is worth $29,356.08.
How much is your blog worth?

Wah!!! Got $$$ leh!!! My eye now open big big liao! If large amount, then can sell, rite?! Can rite?! I should Chao Chao sould have $100, rite?!

So I also happy happy went to try it......

This is what I got....

Jidan, I so lao-yah one....really paiseh...cannot face mother, father, ancestors, my late hamster and the cleaning lady at my office...

and before I succumb to immense depression and financial woe, I visited Lancerlord's blog....

........and felt better immediately.....

Got companionship. :)


Happy Deepavali and Hari Raya!!!

AKK :)

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Things I do for performance bonus...

Hi all!

Sorry for the late updates, been terribly busy working. Right now damn stressed in work, ie. u know the term ‘pao suah pao hai’?

It’s Hokkien for ‘cover mountain, cover sea’. I’ve been tasked to do everything from teaching, coordinating, babysitting, modifying, to even the occasional courier service to shuttle a thumb drive between 2 lecturers who are too busy to meet each other to exchange said important information. I think it never occurred to them to mix business with pleasure, becos they lunch together everyday and sneak out during work hours to lim kopi together. How I know? Because they were always both never around when I need to look for them urgently.

So 1 lecturer took the energy to first send me an email asking to meet me in his office ASAP, so off I ran, wondering what emergency had befallen, but mostly wondering if I did something wrong.

I was also grumbling a bit, because he was on the 7th floor and I was in the lab on the 1st.

When I got there, panting, it struck me that ASAP apparently did not apply to him, becos he then proceed to make me wait 15min for his Majesty to chat animatedly away on the phone while I lingered, before finally setting me a task to retrieve valuable data from lecturer no. 2.

I was like, huh? Cannot do himself ah? But being a nice and above all, newbie, I shut my small but immensely powerful egg-cussing mouth and agreed sweetly. Since my experiment was to be boiled for a further 5 min, I decided I shall just make a quickie to lecturer no. 2, since he must be expecting me now. So, fast as lightning (about 1km/h)… I left his Majesty to cross the concrete plains to the next building, up 3 floors and knocked on lecturer no. 2’s door, panting heavily.

Oh, Damn! The frigging Prof was on the phone too! When I went in anyways, he gave me the finger - the all-important 1 single chao finger up in the air….

……indicating ‘a moment pls.’…….. (hands up for those who thinks otherwise …tsk tsk…)

I saw that crusty dirty finger full of cookie crumbs from the packet of Oreos he had been handling and tried damn hard to keep my own hands from forming another even more chao-er finger back at him.

I failed. But to my credit, I gripped my wayward hand behind my back to hide it. On the other hand, anyone passing by the window of the office shall witness a rude gesture being directed at them unknowingly…

Peace, I tell myself, and imagined my experiment shrinking in size from too much heat and the lab going up in flames ….

But a further 15 min of chit-chat on the phone hearing the one-sided conversation only made me more incensed…. Guess who was on the line? L no. 1! Who called to ask if I was already there, then started a small little conversation while I strained to keep my forehead unlined and to put my ears on high alert for sirens going off in the distance….

L no. 2 finally deigned to honour my presence with a slow click of the phone in the receiver only when I started fidgeting rudely, tapping my feet.

He turned to me and asked, ‘how may I help you?’

I stared back at him, speechless….

Then ‘Sir, if you don’t mind, Prof XXX, whom u were talking to just now, asked that I collect the data from you pronto.’

And he bloody feigned a look of pleasant surprise!

‘Oh! So he was talking about you?! My apologies….now let me see…where is the data…’

I was hopping around like I needed to find a bush while he slowly rummaged through his PC opening folders after folders to find the cause of all my troubles….

‘Yes! Found it! You have a flash drive?’


‘A flash drive, girl, don’t tell me you don’t use it.’

I massaged my temple to give me an excuse to look away from him and to give me time to cool down…

You chao bugger Sir, the other chao buggerr Prof XXX said u are passing me a diskette.’

‘Oh boy, I’m afraid I have none….. Are u ok?’

‘F…no, sir, I’m not OK, I seem to be getting a headache. Stoopid Chao Buggers Running fast does that to me sometimes.’ I massaged harder to keep from spilling more words than I had to.

‘Oh dear, I should get my head checked if I were you.’

‘Yes, you would, you KNN Chao Bugger sir.’ I gave a small squeak at my audacity, but the rejoiner flew pass his head and placidly out the window.

Thankfully, after 5 minutes of rummaging through his piles of papers, stuffed animals, seashells and insects, he dug out a flash drive with an exclamation. By then, I also realised that L2 is not exactly a bad prof, just helpless. I watched him struggle with the simplest task of transferring the word document into his flash drive and offered some tips.

‘No, sir, just drag, sir. Don’t open it, sir!’

‘Wait! Don’t pull it out yet, have to stop it first….

All the while, he thanked me profusely. I wondered how he had been teaching his modules….

I said like 5 ‘welcomes’ and quickly let myself out of the room…and ran like a crazy rabid woman to save my experiment….

Eventually, the data was duly delivered to L1, who without the same incompetence, speedily transferred it onto his own desktop. I was on a warpath and feeling really upset over the experiment, which had turned into an overboiled lump of hard resin. I was ready to leave his room when the bastard called out,

‘Kueh, u can have this back.’

Taking an enormous breath, I turned around very slowly to give my Cool time to catch my running Temper. A mantra of Performance bonus! Performance bonus!! Performance bonus! Dooonnnggg! *temple gong* Managed to infinitesimally twitch the ends of my lips into a teeth-flashing grimace.

Bugger no. 2 Sir?’ *Through gritted teeth*

‘Pls take this flashdrive back to Prof YYY.’

‘Yessir. &%$#@#$

And I managed to close the door without slamming it.

As you can see, there are no eggs being mentioned in this entry…because I’m sure they wont just be smelly already….more like extinct, the way I imagined them to be thrown onto Lecturer no. 1…

Later, L2 would have had heard a series of thumps right outside his wall. If he'd bothered to walk out and check, he would have noticed a few new dents on his newly installed blackboard....

Reason being, all them eggs in the world won’t be enough…


I shall be damn busy the next few weeks trying to keep my temper down, so early apologies if there’s no updates and if I’ve not been visiting u guys! Sorry sorry!



Sunday, October 16, 2005

Chronicles of A…vol 2 : singing again

EDITED: an Original song included towards the end. :)
Hi all!!!

It’s been sometimes since I’ve been toying with the idea. You see, being the cheapskate that I am, I seldom like to buy things for myself. Which essentially means that I am the last person who would go out of my way to buy a gift for anyone. Since I’ve barely gotten into my job yet, there are lotsa money to be saved and earned for a rainy day. If like I kena big big accident and end up totally paralyzed (choi choi!), it will be nice to have enough money to apply for the right to undergo Euthanasia to end my suffering, rite?

Believe you me, Human rights also costs money nowadays and I intend to be a free man…woman.

This means that I don’t buy gifts, I’d rather make them.

Think about it, it’s a marvellous fantastic money-saving idea! Last time, there’s this guy who asked me to teach him how to decorate a glass bottle so he can put paper stars in them to give to his Gf… I mean, such a sweet thing to do right? And although I’ve got my eye on him in the craft shop and constantly helped him to troubleshoot and repair damage, the end result still look like the bottle was designed by an insane glassblower and later painted by a colourblind 3-yr-old.

It looked so bad I wondered if I didn’t teach him properly, but when he later paid for the lesson using his credit card, I saw that his signature kena like chicken scratchings, so I felt more relieved…

The point being that he later came back just to thank me for the lesson and to tell me that she loved loved loved it. Discounting the fact that she is, by then, his ex-Gf, didn’t change the point that:

a) Just becos it’s home-made/hand-made, ppl automatically think it’s 100 times prettier.

b) No matter how ugly something looks or is damn easy to do, ppl are automatically happier knowing that you made the useless ornamental gift rather than bought something more useful/beautiful/practical thing from a shop. They may like it less, but they’ll appreciate the work behind it more. Unless its jewellery or gold bars, of cos, then it’s a different category altogether.

So I’ve recently been toying with the idea to make something for A. I’m not particularly good at poetry, since my handwriting is also rather like chicken scratchings themselves. I’m not good at cooking and the bloody breadmaker is spoilt already (11 days old!).

So I thought about singing again.

I mean, at least this is one thing that I know for sure(!) that I do quite badly at, but it seems to make ppl damn happy to hear me. In fact, it has come to my attention that my singing can bring serious hilarity among my frens…

So I though….why not sing a song for him?

Oh goody! It’s one of those gifts with 1 cheap CD that can be nicely wrapped with cheap ribbon and yet can look so super expensive. And since it’ll contain my golden dulcet voice, I’m sure it’ll render A speechless with awe….

OK….probably just speechless……..

So I’ve been busy racking through my retro 80s CD sets for the perfect song. Bananana-rama? No. Ace of base? No. Bryan Adams? Nooooo……

Then finally I hit upon this song, babytalk!

Oh yeah! It seem to contain all the words I want to tell him. So excited was I that I started recording right away without learning the lyrics….Hahahah…it’s like the JPB song all over again!

But this time, I truly wanted to perfect it, so I made more recordings.

All the variations included:

a) Singing with face plastered to the lappy or across the room for the ‘hollow’ effect.

b) Singing under white light for energy or with soft light for lomance….even in the darkness for added shiver.

c) With fan or aircon.

d) Day or night

e) Standing or sitting

Towards the end, I was enjoying laughing at myself too much to stop. I even tried singing it lying down or hanging up-side-down over the bed, once even with water in my mouth….just to hear if there’s any difference. I pretended screaming linkin-park way, bo-chup pet-shop-boys-way, then shouting, then sexy, then sultry, then bubbly…..

And finally among the 17 over so recordings…I replay and play and play until I hit the correct track.

….It was the one without the frills….

No matter how much I re-listen between the Creed, Marilyn and Dick Tracey, I always ended up liking the no-frills version better. The sultry one was damn goosepimply and the sexy one sounded like I swallowed a horse (whole….so it was singing through me…). The one standing up sounded too high pitched while the upside-down version was simply gabled becos the lyrics were also upside down and half-way through, I lost concentration and started sweeping the ground playing with my hair…

Oh well… has to be the no-frills one then.

Incidentally this is related to the second incident (bloody damn big digression hor? Hur hur…I out-do myself every entry):

After the sorry hunt for the snail, (‘Oy, little snail with the brown stripes! Not you, You! I’m sorry if my toe destroyed your travels plans, pls tell grandma it’s my fault….) I was waiting for the opportunity to ask him, in a super-indirect-kinda way, whether he likes a gift of song from me or not.

‘Hey, dear, have you ever heard me sing?’

Oh well, so much for being indirect…..

‘As a matter of fact, yes, I have!’

OK, so I wasn’t expecting this answer….my breath hitched and I began to replay parts of my life for any unknown forgotten drunkard episodes.

‘You have? Since when?’

‘Since when we were frens?’ Gosh! This was 5 years ago!

‘Er…but that’s quite a while ago…u mean u remembered?’

‘Of cos! How to forget?’

A nigging suspicion and dare I say it? Fear began to eat at me…an image of all my 17 re-takes being unsuccessfully flushed down a toilet bowl began to form….

‘Er….what song did I sing?’

He turned and looked at me gravely.

‘You really wanna know?’ and squeezed my hand in his…. Jidan! It must be something really bad….


He looked up into the clear starry night and briefly closed his eyes in remembrance. Then he turned and looked at me again. I see that his infamous girl/auntie/lady/married women-killer lazy smile has surfaced.

‘You sang…’ and the grin became wider, before it was hastily stifled….

‘Stop keeping me in suspense lah!’ I head-banged his shoulder with my forehead just for emphasis….

'You sang.......The Elmo Song.....'

‘ WAT??!’

‘The ELMO SONG……..’

Lala-lala-lala-lala...elmo song!!!

that instant, i appreciated the true meaning of the word ‘flabbergasted’. He had to shift my chin back up before the night moths invaded. I never knew! Elmo song?! Of all the songs to sing, I sang a Sesame Street kiddy song that even my 10 yr old cousins would shy away from?!

Suddenly, like a charging MRT on the loose, a distant, long-lost and obviously tightly-bound memory burst through the tracks of my brain….a series of images in monochrome shades focused and flipped like a photo album.

A conversation with A in a car. On cartoons. Yous favourite childhood shows? Mine? Sesame street. You like it too! Cookie monster. The count also. Elmo is cutest, of cos. Have you heard him sing? No? I sound like Elmo. Really! Don’t believe? Don’t laugh ah?

~~~~~Lalalala-lalalala…..ELMO SONG!!! Lalala-lala-Elmo song!!! ~~~~~~

.............And slowly the train of thought faded into the distance, leaving me hollow with dread. Yet, a bubble of hilarity seem to be easing itself upwards past my throat….

No! I’m not gonna ask!!! I tell myself, don’t ask it! Shut up!

‘Er…..’ ............SSSsssHHHHhhhh..........!!!!!


‘What did you do?’ Dammit! Mentally I head-banged myself.

‘Pretend to like it….’

Horrors of horrors, the moment I heard him, I started into a fit of giggling….especially when I saw his face was momentarily twisted in wry recollection. Oh gosh…I couldn’t stop my shoulders from shaking when he started looking at me in mock accusation.

‘Did you know how long it took to stop the song from blaring in my head?!’

That’s it! I bursted a spleen and started whooping in laughter! And to think this guy, after what I did to his poor ears, after all this while, trawling this gory memory, he still thinks I’m the bee’s knees…. I gripped my sides while he ferociously tried to keep his scowl from sitting up.

When I sufficiently recovered to stand upright again, I heard a reedy, nasal voice issuing from his lips….

‘This is the song…lala-lala….elmo song…lala-lala-lala-lala….elmo song….’

I sang the music, i wrote the words...that's elmo song!!! Posted by Picasa

I collasped like a rag-doll again…

A, a true tactician, believes that revenge is best served in cold....blood…..

And yes, this episode took me a whole week to recover…..


AKK :)

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Chronicles of A….vol 1: Why did the snail cross the road?

hi all!

Recently, A took some days off his busy schedule to spent a bit more time with me, so we were out having dinner and taking slow walks. A few funny incidences occurred, but I would like to just put 2 of them down. This 2 I shall keep for my future enjoyment, should I read back what I wrote.

Incident 1:

A and I were walking along a stone path just yesterday in the evening. The night air was very cool after the rain and the foliage on both sides of us were very green, fresh and moist.

Yes, I can see Z leering liao…….how was it that I can actually notice the bloody foliage around me when I could be otherwise engage in other *ahem* activities that are immensely more enjoyable?

Because! We are not in the ulu BT hill nor Botanical gardens, we were walking thru this damn tiny little landscape patch in Raffles place. I confess that I was exaggerating about 'dense' foliage, I was just trying hard to find lomantic scenery out of nothing.

In fact, there wasn’t any bloody dense foliage to hide behind for some hand-held activity. There are only shrubs that reached my waist. On a better day, I could come up with some waist-down activity, but it was rainy...and I'm not a rain person.

There is, also, a traffic camera facing us from across the jammed streets full of horny horning cars and I already know i don't have exhibitionist tendencies...

Hand-in-hand, we strolled till we came upon this one lonely snail travelling across our path.


When I was young, my mum often say I walk with a ‘chuay kim’ look, which means ‘looking for gold’ in Hokkien and slang for walking with head down, eyes on floor. Depends on how you see it, it can be both a bad or good habit.

As a bad habit, it contributed to a lot of headaches and black-eyes whenever I walk through a forest of streetlamps. I performed even worse at our HDB void deck- I called it the ‘step step step-bok!’ walk. Yes, because the pillars were bigger, but it didn't make them more visible, only harder to avoid.

There were a few times I walk right into a glass pane at a shopping center just because I was looking down thinking rather than up, where all the action is. Thankfully, I never broke them, said my mum, or she’ll have to pay the damages. I love my mum, I swear, but sometimes, she can be as frank and blunt as I am….which irritates me to no end. But then, when I walked right into the glass pane of Body Shop just last week, I was thinking much along the same line, despite nursing a bump about the size of a quail egg, much to the hilarity of the staff ('no, it's ok, miss, you only smudged the door, are you sure u ok? You worry about your head more, yes?).

On the other hand, I’ve since earned about 30 + dollars in dropped coins and half-buried notes.

Although I dun chuay kim that much anymore (until last week, that is), occasionally I lapse back, especially when there’s some one to hold my hand in his….then there’s no need for 2 pairs of eyes to both see the same road, rite? Rite?!

Ya lor, I think so too, 1 to see where we’re going and the other to earn money and spot manholes….

Because the floor was wet, I was looking downwards because I’m also a Saver of Snails…..aka SOS....kekeke….(Barney would say I’m giving a bloody cold joke right now). But seriously hor, after a rain, all the snails will come out onto the path, so it’s really no joke, it's a real situation.

U know that snails have bad eyesight? Yes, I know they got their pair of itty-bitty ‘antennae’-like thingies with big protruding eyes that makes ppl think they've got some damn powerful goggles. But seriously, snails eyes can only differentiate light and dark. They use the two feelers to swivel around to touch leaf blades and thus move among the grass. Their bottoms, which is a long muscular foot, detect moisture of the grass and the soil, so from 2 points of measure, they navigate their way among the mini-jungle.

That’s why during the rain, just because their paths are still wet, they think it’s still soil…. so they just continue until they undulate right onto the wet stone path and won't actually realise it enough to turn back around.

Then like blind men who are asked to spin around 10 times and had their walking sticks taken, they’ll just walk a rough continuous straight line trying their best to detect landmarks with their feelers out stretched like hands.......

But since they don’t, they just slime straight, getting absolutely lost…

And it’s really better to be an SOS rather than walk with your head held high through a wet path between 2 grass patches. Of cos the long term reward if u were to quietly unhinge them with ur foot and lightly kick them back into the dirt would be that you’ve just saved some blind, frantically scrambling snail (albeit slowly and in a moist kinda way)from being dried out when the sun comes up again. This would earn you some karma or brownie points with whatever religion you associated with.

On the other hand, I go for the instant gratification. The one that comes from knowing that there’s no crunching/ squelching/ mulching/ squishing or any form of cringing sound effects occurring underneath my very thin sole separating my bare naked wriggly toes from the Unfortunate Event.

Because it happened to me once, just when I chose to wear my new spanking flats with its extremely exposed toe bits… I’ve never been able to wear that pair without a shiver of goosebumps since then…

Oh yah, the crunching/squelching noise? It continues for a few more steps after the first contact…

It was an absolute conundrum. I couldn’t bear to continue walking and yet couldn’t bear to lift my feet to view the damage…I was also hopeless to run my sole across the grass to clean it off because I felt so guilty. I felt it was oozing right beneath my feet. The feeling was so grossly intense, I froze for 5 minutes just wondering what I should do….then I cleaned my feet 10 times that night. Really, it’s not something u would love to experience….

Can u imagine stepping on this??!! Posted by Picasa

So SOS hor! Get more Karma, save some lives! However insignificent! You have been sufficiently warned…

Oh shit! Back to the show:

So we were just strolling (hur hur…) down the path when my habit turned out to be a good karma-tic one. If I didn’t stop him, he’d have trodden scrunchingly onto a big fat slimy snail in his way. By the size of that thing, A would have spent the next 3 nights scrubbing between his toes and cringing uncontrollably everytime he laces those shoes for the next 5 years.

The snail, although lost and all alone on the path, is obviously in the right orientation, because it was making a beeline straight for the grass on the other end and is ¾ towards reaching its goal. All things said, if I didn't help it, it would have gotten safely to the grasses in the next hour.

But being the extreme SOS nicety I am, I stopped and gently nudge the snail with my shod foot. I confess to being secretly amused at their suction prowess, because if u nudge too hard, you can actually hear something R(A), although at the same time, u can separate the shells from their bodies.....

So how? well, you’ve got to do it really slowly and skilfully, gently prodding. Until you can tease and softly separate the moist folds of flesh until they are open wide and the wet lips stop suc……


*clears throat* Anyway, back to the story….

Eventually, I er…dislodged the snail and eased its terrified fully retracted body into the shrubs. Then happily, knowing there’s something good to report to the tih-kong when I expire, me and A both continued strolling.

After 2 minutes, A suddenly blurted out into the semi-gloom, his voice unnaturally loud until a cranky motorbike roared by, reminding us we are essentially still in Raffles.

'Why did you do that for?’

‘What? You meaning saving the snail? Oh, because last time, mother say I got this bad habit to ‘chuay kim’…’

‘No no, I understand why you save the snail, dear. I agree with it. But why did u kick it to the wrong side?’

‘What you mean?’

‘U know just now the snail was crawling ¾ to the opposite side rite?’

‘Ya, so?’

‘Er….you kicked it back to where it started, dear’

‘I did?!’

‘Ya…imagine that it actually really want to get to the other side, then how? Maybe before u un-suck un-stuck it, it was thinking, ‘yay! 2 more hours to go!’, rite? then you came along.’

‘oh no! you think so?’

‘I dunno, but what if it wants to visit grandma on the other side and started the journey early in the morn? Then instead of being sent to the nearest correct side of the shrub, this great gigantic toe from the sky suddenly appeared and sent it back to base 1.’

‘Oh! Jidan! Now, we have to go back and look for it!’

*uncertain* ‘er…it’s OK lah, I was just joking…I dun think it would mind. Not really…’

*bursting with self-righteousness* No, dear, you’re rite! We’ve got to find it and toss it to the right side…’


‘yes! Let’s go back! No time to lose!’


‘Haiz, so much for karma!’ I huffed in disgust 10 mins later after rummaging through the wet shrub hunting down that snail, but to no avail.

And then suddenly a tot struck me.


A looked up from chuay-kim-ing, obviously regretful he made that wacky suggestion involving grannies…..


‘What did you mean by ‘Great Gigantic Toe'?

‘er…………..hahhahahaahha……….......took u that long huh?’


Later, a significantly perkier A said, when we were back to strolling hand-in-hand along Boat Quay,

‘Why did the snail cross the road?’

*nonplussed* ‘Er…to get to the other side?’

‘No, because AKK kicked it back.’


I think........I now require somebody to rescue me from too many corny jokers........


AKK :)

Oh yes, 2nd incident for next time, ya?

Monday, October 03, 2005

The Chronicles of Z....Vol. 1

I just finally realised the immense gaiety I derive from some of my frens. I mean, some of these conversations are pretty superb stuff (to me lah). When have Joy, must Share, rite? Hell, yea! So I'm officially installing this new series called 'the Chronicles of Z' to reflect the kind of frens I have.

Z shall now represent universally all the frens who are suey lucky enuff to end up with their conversations being publicly published. The original fren Z has given me a gigantic whack on the head after I refused to accede to his perverted demands to sian some innocent if stoopid 'not-2-bad' chio bu. The fact that Z is not-2-bad himself and would certainly appeal to that bitch bimbo middle-finger lab partner is not the issue here. I am not depriving her, I'm saving her from the big chomping jaws of Z.

I deserved to go heaven.

He is now nursing his palm back to health and shall not be typing anytime soon, so I'm striking while the iron's still hot...


Z just ate an oyster omelette for lunch before going online to chat with AKK.

Z: Oy! Fren! Guess what I just ate?! Orr luat!!!

AKK: Wahhhh! Was it good?

Z: Damn fantastic! Very fresh oysters, all small like 5 cent coin, spread all over the egg…like heaven…

AKK: Damn, poor me now chomping on bao for lunch.

Z: What type of bao?

AKK: pork bao.

Ruo baos!!!

Z: How many you have?

AKK: *happily munching* Liang ke rou bao!

Z: Da bao or xiao bao?

AKK: Xiao Bao!

Z: so.....
Z: .....Left one or right one?

AKK: -__-*


Z having expresso and a pie while on MSN with AKK...

Z: AAaaaaaHHHH......kopi and pecan pie!

AK: arrgghhh!! pecan pie!!!

Z: what what?!

AKK: i ....pie...

Z: Me too! my second fave nut

AKK: oh yah, you and your no. 1 walnuts...

AKK: ohhhh..that came out all wrong...

Z: hahahaa.... those no walnuts, those olives....

AKK: hah?!!!

AKK: WaHahahaahahahah! Good joke good joke….

Z:....Er… joke….

AKK: er............

Z: Where got so big like walnuts one?

Z's fav nuts...

AKK: so small like Olives meh…kanna chees leh....

AKK: Just in case hor! what the hell are we talking abt??!!

Z: nuts…….

AKK: *left eyelid twitching*

Z: -__-"

AKK: hahahahahaahahah……………*fell off chair*

Z: well i guess it's only fair that we were taking about your baos earlier….

AKK: *crawled back*…....hahhahaahhaahhaa……..

AKK: Wah lau! My eyelid really twitched siah!

AKK: but but...
AKK: i must be very sure on this point...
AKK: Kanna Chees??!!! no kidding?!

Z: not those small small ones u find in ur martini lah... the bigger ones...
Z: *cough*Extra Virgin Olive Oil*cough*....

AKK: can...can.... can I have dimensions?!
AKK: Muahhahahaahahahahaha.......

Z: Hahahahaha....

Z: No.

AKK: No?

Z: No.

AKK: Damn!

Z's real nuts.......


Z is having a nice cuppa with AKK at a trendy tea-spot in HV.

AKK: hey hey! I have some good news to tell you!

Z: *sipping tea* yea, what?

AKK: Dun sip the tea, it's really quite a big piece of news!

Z: ok ok, *puts down tea*, tell me tell me!

AKK: I've....

Z: yes...?


Z: .............

AKK: how come u no fan ying one? U not happy for me meh?

Z: *deadpan* Eh...I am I am....

AKK: then do something lah! Say something!....

Z: *eye big big* wat?

AKK: *big gusty sigh* least some reaction, can?!

Z: *looks around*... got lah! ....*looks around again and starts grinning*

AKK: *eyes narrowed suspiciously* I know that look, it's the 'dirty-joke-coming' look....I dun wan to know what erection reaction already....

Z: I'm telling you anyway...

AKK: *agitated whisper* SShhh erection jokes....

Z: *takes deep breath*.....No, you ask me, so I must answer!!..........

AKK: Nooooooo...*whacking Z repeatedly on the head*.....

Z: *amid AKK's flailing arms to shut his mouth*!.....Big!...

AKK: Nooooo....shut up shut up!!

Z:.......toe!... cramping in happiness for u!!

Got reaction meh? Posted by Picasa

AKK: huh?

Z: my Big Toe!!! what were you thinking?

AKK: er...nothing...nothing...*blush*

Z: *wriggling his left big toe suggestively at me and starts grinning again....* Incidentally, did i tell you i call this pinky here 'Rooster'?

AKK: -__-''


oh well, that's it for today then. Hope you guys enjoy this. Hopefully, there's more where this comes from, hehehehe...(then i just cut/paste can liao....)



Saturday, October 01, 2005

A complaint....

MSN conversation in a typical day, AKK lodges a compliant to fren Z over colleague SX...

akk: Oy! I wanna complain! I've got this extremely stoopid lab partner! She damn jidan noe! everything i must do for her!

Z: relac siah, calm down....wat she do to you?

akk: Choujidan never come for 3 out of 4 fricking practicals! Idiot! the stoopid TA say got 'we' in teamwork, but that SX thinks teamwork got the word 'me' also! Teamwork my foot! Bloody make my blood boil!

Z: that SX is ur partner?

akk: rite! wat partner?! MIA all the time, yet see her vacant face, I sian ji puah already, now must write a 'team-effort' report all by myself....*sobz*

Z: er....she chio?

akk: ........-__-"........

akk: .......not bad lah....why?

Z: can i know her? She must be pretty free now....

...........which ends as a complaint filed against fren Z.....



(busy busy doing 2-person work using 1-person data, 1 brain and 1 fuming temper....)