Thursday, June 29, 2006

The HK Trip and the GSS

Hi all!!!

Nadnut is quite excited about my buys in Hong Kong, so I've decided to splash all my stuff here to make her green with envy (or not), hur hur....

To all the guys out there, well, you can skip this post lah. It's all clothes and shoes and bag and accessories and.....

Take a look!!!

cotton white strap top with 3 white buttons and turquoise pants with elastic at the hem.

Bought these bags in Nathan Rd, rather like Singapore Orchard road. But frankly? pls go Argyle street for this Far East Plaza look-alike shopping mall crammed to the max with pretty good deals. But don't believe them when they tell you it's real leather. It's not. you can smell the difference.

petal-cut white bag with brown faux leather straps, super big bag. it's got a fabric lining inside, so it'll not fall apart like those plastic linings that rip from the seams.

on the right is a safari print fabric bag from Esprit Factory's only S$20!!!! *gasp!* when in HK, must must go to all those factory outlets, ok?!!! got super serious deals, man!!!

Green knit top with matching flower brooch from Argyle Street. White Pants I just bought from Queensway yesterday at $15 dollars for TWO Pairs!!!! Muahahaha! Eh...if only I can find back the same shop again though. Damn place is a maze....

My best buys in retail were these shoes! all in all, about S$15 a pop! Very nicely made fabric shoes! From Argyle street (see? what u waiting for? go!). First one is my personel favourite, with a grey elephant stitched onto each pair! Second is this rather-like-schoolshoe thingy drawn with a silver marker and edged with gold lining. 3rd is this sunny yellow open-toe wooden plats with silver lining. the 3rd is a bit uncomfortable and i'm a fraid it'll pinch. second pair is sadly very hastily put together, with the inner sole not well glued. I didn't find out till it's too late. so please make sure that u guys check your purchases before u leave the shop.

Oh yes! and here's some of my own works. I've been tinkering with beading recently and have been making some trinkets in preparation for a temple/charity booth drive in december! My colleague have me roped in for half a booth to display my stuff! Yay! it's great because as u can see from the works, I haven't got my jewellery-making thumbs up to scratch yet, so I'm learning still!

Okie! not a lot of wrds but there u have it! Nadnut, hope u are groaning in envy! muahahahaha! and for those who needs further details for HK, I'll try my best to help out!

Next blog shall feature my one single most favorite activity in HK and I'll be posting up a pic of me doing it! eh....sounds a bit wrong...oh, well...

Till then! OUT!

AKK. :)

Thursday, June 22, 2006

This is not a GAME!!!

hi all!

Man, Have I got something for you ladies out there! Yup!!! only ladies!!! unless you are gay, then this post is for you too!!!

This is not a game! in fact, it is MORE than a GAME!!!! I've since spend the last 1 hour trying to get those heavenly perky lips to melt the screen!!! perhaps I'm late and you have all seen it, but hell, have joy must share hor?!!! so I share!!!

there's this competition to make this really handsome man in an online website to kiss you!!!! ain't it fantastic?!! U have to try it out!!!! argghh!!! guys also!!! no kidding, he is too cute and it's too funny!

before you Click on this link, pls be reminded that since it's just a program, you may not need a real sentence to get a response out of him.

for s start,

you may try the following words, which i have used, and enjoy the effects.

check out the various reactions I have gotten him to do

'kiss' or 'smooch'

'handsome' 'gorgeous' and 'eyes'.



'love' and 'sex' can induce different responses too. pls also try 'gay'.

best reaction so far: 'strip' or 'topshop' and 'pants' and 'dance'

yes yes, i believe you guys knew what i asked him to do.....

enjoy! and if there's any more different reactions, pls tell me!!! and for the person who succeeded in making him kiss you, pls tell too! email me if you dun want others to find out! heheehhe......


just came back from HK, perhaps a post on all the stuff I bought? till next time then!!!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Chronicles of A vol 8.: I asked.

hi all!
(oops about the punctuation! Too lazy to shift and too lazy to type on word doc.)

I decided to find out anyways. I figured if he didn't want to say anything about it, I'll probably have to really really start worrying. And since I have this lamentable habit to stick my head in the sand and hide, if I don't do it now, I'd have just remember that I have never asked him and have this little black hole of discontent that will manifest Ito inferiority complex like many years down the road.

Better to have it over and done with than to chew the freaking thing like cud in my four stomachs.

incidentally, I have not been online thru'out the whole week, hence I have not been able to reply to all your comments. I thank you all for the lovely advice. I particularly agree with jayaxe that a marriage cert isn't a absolute road to fidelity, which is why there is always a sense of guardedness about one's partner. Let's face it, it's really not him I worry about, it's the other girls around him that worry me. I think any woman who is decently self-conscious and has a slightly frayed sense of self-worth will agree to it.

but by the time I finished writing the previous entry and have some time to think, I worry less and less about that picture. In fact, when he came back around, I was even ready to let it go. afterall, it's a male thing to have some pin-ups somewhere. And cars are his favorite non-living object. Have a pretty gal draped over it is probably a bonus of sorts.

in any case, it was a fairly easy topic to broach, thankfully. All I have to do was just pop into his room while he was around and manuvereredrederd(when do I stop?) his head to the pile of pictures which he still left very openly on the table (I actually gave him time to realize the pile and see if he went into a flurry to hide them).

AKK: hello! What are these?

So much for tact and subtlety, sorry Zhebin, I cannot reach zhebinism enlightenment liao).

A: eh? What what? Oh , these? pics I took down from the office.

He was completely clueless to me singling out the 2 particular pics.

AKK: I mean these 2 lah. Who's she? Quite chio ah.

Never show fear! Pretend to like the pic as well as he, although you are dying to claw that woman's eyes out for looking so perfect. Admire it for her its worth. it may be the only think she's good at.

A: Oh! Those! Last year's carshow. She asked me to take her pic.

AKK: what? She asked you? Confirm got lots of ppl taking her pic what, why she single you out?

I considered cutting out a her outline in red paper....

A: oh yah, of cos got a lot of ppl taking. But she asked me to take them.

My ah-mah's red wooden clogs will be wonderful in easing out all those creases on the paper....

AKK: Why?

A: cos she said she will not see any of those pics they took of her unless she asks, so she asked me, among some of them. She gave me her email so I can send them.

A couple of joss-sticks to burn spot where her Bambi eyes are....

AKK: hmmm....And you find it very normal? Her asking you, among all those hum-sup old perverts/lechers she could have asked to get the pics from? In any case, why you put the pics up in the office?

A: *suddenly looking alert and he peered closer at me* AAAyyyyyYYYyy??!!! You JEALOUS AH??!!

Maybe a cut-out of him also....

AKK: No I wasn't! I just think it's a tacky pick-up line. U mean u never thought she was trying to hook up with u meh?

A: yes, you are! And yes ah, I know she's trying to pick me up.

AKK: well, you could have said NO lor.

A: well, it's not everyday got chiobu want to pick me up lah. Anyway, you can tell from her looks that she probably has never been rejected outright before. scarly she turn into monster if I said sorry, I dun wan to take her pic or get her email add, then how? If got hansem boy tried to pick you up, u'd be flattered also mah.

AKK: *intrigued despite herself* so did you talk to her? How was she like?

A: Empty.

AKK: You are saying that to make me feel better.

A: No, really. She didn't know nuts about the car she was posing for.

And that summed up A's overall love for cars and all things cars....

upon further interrogation careful detecting, the office had a large noticeboard 'supposed to be filled with event pics' but had been sorely maltreated by the 80% male cohorts in the workplace. On top of pictures of company dinners and state affairs evident from his pile, there were also some 'eye-candy' contributions apart from his carshow gal.

AKK: so why did you have to take all the pics back?

A: Someone tacked a Sports Illustrated Calendar and pissed the boss. He took it down and asked us to revamp the board to a more suitable content.

I knew what that means....

AKK: Hypocrite!

A: ya lor, my fren hasn't recovered from having his calendar 'confiscated'.

So, once again, a much-ado-about-nothing.

I figured next time just ask liao, no need to pretend. Although we all like to project the worse case scenario, but seriously, there are a hundred and one reasons more that can perfectly answer that burning question.

Now, I just wish there was a Chocolate Show with lots of male models immersed in chocolate fountains and draped over chocolate sculptures.



Friday, June 09, 2006

Chronicles of A vol. 7: hmmm.....

Hi all!

you know that when ppl get maried, we are all supposed to be trusting of one another. i think trusting A is all well and good, if only my own inferiority can catch up with his multitude of chio, rich frens ala AC days.

so can i ask if i should even open my mouth about that batch of photos strewn over this desk? 2 of which showed this gal leaning against a car at a carshow.

why being worried is a given:

1) she is chio.
2) she is slim (and has ab muscles like what i used to have).-_____-
3) she is fair with a beautifully made up face and flawless skin.
4) she is one of the showgals at the car show and her bod is better than mine and she's not wearing much to cover it up.
5) there's double-sided tape behind the pic. it's a no brainer to confirm that it had been displayed somewhere till now.
6) the rest are office pics with colleagues and bunches of guys and gals. and there ain't no pics of me.

why i shouldn't worry:

1) it was my name on the piece of marriage cert.
2) he is not stupid. he would have hid it if it was important. or perhaps by reverse psychology, he didn't think he was doing anything wrong.
3) my pic is on his handphone screensaver and wallpaper and he sees me almost everyday.
3) And the lousiest of all reasons and yet which is the basic backbone of the marriage union (ie. based on pure trust that no one is lying and which can never be scientifically proven)-he said he loves me.

so after i've weighed the pros and cons, it's not a wonder to conclude:

---------------I'm worried-------------------

i have been known to be too scientific and years of reading journals of men being naturally polygamous is not helping me win this tussle for level-headedness. i hate that i should be distrustful, but i also think it's my survival instinct kicking in. which woman can't help but feel inadequate when faced with a man's sometimes seemingly callous actions (ie. he should have put them pics away knowing i'm pretty inferior as a person)?

Someone pls offer some opinions/explanations. especially if u are a guy. OTOH, can the gals tell me what u'd do in such a situation? should i ask him about it? it's hardly rifling thru his drawers. heck, they were lying on his desk fit for any eyes walking past his room.

thanks! Will keep updated.


akk. :)

Friday, June 02, 2006

Chronicles of A vol. I-lost-count : Jogging

Hi all!

It was those once-in-a-blue-moon efforts to slim down that I decided to go jogging one day after work. Just so that the sun has still not set, I snuck out 1 hour ahead of the official teng-chu time and made it home with an hour of daylight left to spare. Oh ya, I had to do a little mission-impossible stunts as I was trying to walk out of the office in full view of everyone without letting them know I’m walking out in full view of everyone.

I just wore the same beige colour as the wall and dragged my beige sweater over my hair and arms and stood behind the office’s only flowerpot of fake plant that was slowly dying. So when the whole office realise the flowerpot had walked to the door, I was sprinting in pixie steps to freedom. At one point in time, just when the lift door opened, I heard footsteps downstairs. Since no one in their right mind is going to climb any form of stairs when the lift is available, I jump out of the lift before it snapped shut, only to let it open 1 floor below to admit all those lazy bums. Such Pigs, make me huff one flight down.

There a few slamming-flat-against-the-wall moments when I hear those expensive click-click of leather shoes (if you hear the flap flap of $2 flip-flops, it’s one of us), but I managed to escape unscathed.

I got home only to find A was around too, so he we decided to jog together, after he convinced me that he will not

1) Laugh hilariously at my jogging style. i.e Run like a gu-niang with limp wrists whose afraid of stepping on grass. Watch me do a hop-scotch at the garden path.

2) Talk to me during the jog, because I will automatically turn to the sound of a voice and hence, crash and burn.

3) Run too far ahead and leave me smelling his sweat and eating his dust.

4) Run too slow and let his vision be eclipsed by the size of my monstrous butt. This is for his safety.

5) Roll his eyes and get pissed if I have to stop and start rescuing snails from their misguided race across the path to the other side.

6) Make any comments about my state at the end of the run, the sweat, the water dripping from all pores and orifices, the shaking limbs and the siao-lang-keng-hairstyle.

I was as equally amused to see he is handling my demands as I was horrified to find that he is quite determined to jog with me. I have never let anyone watch me jog because they have their own eyes to care about. It’d be so irresponsible to make them pop watching me trundle alongside them like a gay elephant.

Just as we were about to set off with 30mins of light left to spare, his handphone rang. I was beside myself with relief until he motioned that it’ll take only 1 minute and I should wait for him.

So I waited and waited till the sun had set, the moon was up and my mum is screaming at us to eat dinner…..

There was a snap when he closed his phone and announced, ‘let’s go!’

I didn’t have the heart to tell his enthusiastic face that I’m slightly night-blind.

So after we made our way there, he gently placed me a bit further away from him (because I kept bumping him) and we started jogging. I had my ears plugged with pumping songs to distract me from the pain in my chest and thighs (and arms and feets and...). When you are fat, you not only run against your own weight, but also against air current and friction of those free swinging weights called saddlebags, love handles and underarm flab. Imagine running in near dark without proper vision and ears blocked by headphones. I felt like I was transported to a place where my pounding feet don’t belong to me and the floor beneath them was riddled with dark shapes and holes.

So it wasn’t long before something happened.

Seeing the floor come up to meet me was the easy bit. At the moment when you just had to close your eyes to silently scream along with Mariah Carey’s Fantasy Baby …’sweet sweet fantasy baby, when I close my eyes, you come and you taakkkeee meeee….OOOhhhhh oooHHHhoooohhAAAaahhhhrrGGGGHHHHHhh…’, and the next moment, you feet gets caught in a strip of grass posing as a darker shade of concrete flooring, the body slowly crashes headlong into a pinwheel of limbs and flab and shoes while the face says ‘hi’ to the tarmac.

That’s not the end. In fact, the fall was like any fall that I usually fall-----trip, legs crossed, tumble, feet in air, somersault and grand finale, face in mud.

It was the noise level. Halfway panting through the whole bloody course, I was already wheezing and heaving with every step. A tried his best but he was dying for at least a speed faster than the strolling pram ambling along the opposite side, so we subsisted into a jogging pace that made him somewhat 3 steps ahead of me.

Which made him unable to see me when I fell.

But he certainly heard me.


When A turned around, he found me half plastered across the path, playing dead. After a few more whimpers, I managed to ease myself up slowly with a brave, half-worried smile of reassurance that would have won me Grammys.

While he gently got me up and brush me down, he said,

‘You OK?’

‘Yea, yea…..’ Cue brave smile.

‘Sure?’ he replied.

‘yes, I think so.’ Cue slight frown, braver smile.

‘OK.’ He relaxed.

Then he piped up, ‘Only you were screaming like a banshee just now; I thought you broke something.’

‘eh…afraid you won’t hear mah.’


‘Scared u cannot hear mah!’

‘You fall, I’ll hear one what.’

‘Aiyah….,’ and I started on a long discourse in the middle of the garden path. ‘Some people fall, can make body-hit-floor kind of noise—like piak piak noises.’ And I clapped my hands together to prove the point.

‘Skinny people make bone-hit-floor noises—like kok kok noises. Me, I Marshmallow Man. I fall, no noise.’

By now, I can see his eyes are looking from side to side, but I was on a roll and warming up.

‘Er dear…’

‘So so must signal to you mah. Garden here so many smooching couples. So lak-sey if I not only fall down in front of them, and they see my partner happy-happy disappear round the bend mah.’


‘So, when the ground fly up to my face, I tell myself, must make sure A hears!’

‘Okok!’ and with that, he quickly reach around my neck and pluck out my earphones.

My screaming Linkin Park track is suddenly replaced by a deafening silence. I was made aware of all the ‘smooching couples’ turning our way, even the ones from 4 benches off.

Even the crickets were silent.

A then held my hand and slowly led me, traumatised, dumb and limping, through the long pathway back home. Even through my night-blindness, I can see some wide white grins floating past my side. Before long, we were walking faster until we rounded the corner, whereby A burst out laughing and laughing until I hoped he burst his spleen.

‘I think ….*gasp* *gasp*… we should…… muahahaha……jog together more often....muahahah....’

Choujidan……if I ever doubt his sincerity in hitching me, it's gone now. While I'm sure there could be so many girls who could be his Muse, I'm his one-and-only Comedy Central.