Happy New Year!!!

Hi all!

Thanks to all you well-wishers out there that have made my x'mas just a little much more better and meaningful. I've not been blogging because of something which I will be posting up soon. Just like to say that everything's hunky dory and pretty well-rounded in terms of highs and lows in the year 2006.

In fact, it has been such an eventful year for me, changing jobs, getting married, moving house. Oh yes, everyone keeps asking me when's the ceremony? I'd like to say that I'll probably serve my tea to both sides of my folks and that will be that. But I seem to have friends who are ready to whip out their wallets to do a generous bit of charity (i.e. me), so perhaps when I'm finally debt-free, I might actually book a restaurant for them so they can shower me with their gifts and cash-cheques. This debt-free thing, while it might occur when I'm alive, will definitely occur when I'm in the grave, so the dinner amounts to the same thing ('choi choi!!!').


recently, i have been taken for a ride on Neil Gaiman's new book 'Fragile things'. if you like freakiness and sadism, this is it. It's a collection of short stories, one of which I'm totally disturbed, which is why it makes for such a good read. For him, it might be best to leave reason and logic on the doorstep before entering, he is never sensible and always fantastical.

When I have time, I'll share his shorter stories here.


Today, topic is about nightmares. Someone once told me that dreams and nightmares stops where the knowledge ends. Eg, if you have never been kissed, then you may dream of it, but you'll not feel the lips. it'll be like empty air.


hmm....actually to digress abit--- if this person is correct, how come when I dreamt this porno-sci-fi dream where I got raped hibitually by my robotic hubby, I can actually feel his small sharp tentacle jabbing into me? The feeling was so profound and utterly indescribable that I woke up startled by the wierdness. Almost immediately I slap my head for stupidity and tried my best to go back to sleep, hoping to dream out the entire episode so I can experience the rendering without going through the actual event.

That was back in 1998.


And seriously, you ain't old till you start recalling the exact year instead of saying, 'last time,....'

More about that dream next time.


For this nightmare, I had it in 1997. My family had moved to a mansionette to make more room for my lil' brother. I had a big bedroom all to myself. It must have been during the time when my dad was retrenched and trying his hardest to get another job during the economic downturn. The family was running fairly well on savings and my mum was pulling double-loads giving tuition and keeping us fed. We kids all worried, nevertheless.

I can never forget that night out of the many nights of slumber and stress. It was dead quiet in my room because I had the windows closed because it was raining. Only the whirring fan broke the abject silence and ear-ringing. It was meant to be a cosy night ensconced in my bed, which was placed against the wall. I have the habit of sleeping with my back right against a solid object, a remnant learnt from another nightmare.

The square room was cast in grey and blue shadows-- a still-frame if not for the fan turning silently in one quiet corner.

So that was when I woke up. Blearily opened 1 eye and about to burrow into the blankets before I noticed my big bro. He was in the middle of my room.

A long straight figure with his crumpled head slumped. Suspended, he swung to and to from my ceiling light. Somehow he had shifted my study chair from the study table to the middle of the room and used it to hang himself from the ceiling.

What made the whole situation more horrifying was that although his body amd limbs was deathly still, he swung violently to and fro.

'Gor...' I whimpered, hoping to squeeze against the wall harder but paralysed.

In response, the body swung harder. I knew then that it wanted to snap the rope to get to me....

My heart thudded so strongly I woke up hyperventilating. For the longest time, I couldn't fall asleep because I was too scared to close my eyes. I was sure that not only will I have the same dream again, it will be a continuation of it, this time, the rope will snap and I wouldn't be able to open my eyes.

If only I could also peel my eyes off my study chair, which was exactly where my nightmare left it.

In the middle of the room and beneath the ceiling lights.

Out!

Akk

Happy New Year!