Thursday, May 03, 2007

The Sad Ping Pong Queen Vol 11.

Hi all!

Let’s get with the program! A little break from PPQ was just what the doctor ordered, since after the weight incidence, there seem like a complete increase in the number of jabs and jibes going around. As usual, given the circumstance, I’m always half wondering if she was conscious of her speech or is she truly one of Nature’s blinder creatures. Like an earthworm maybe, or a mole, but at least they are useful.

In any case, the episode today is back on track. If this blog were a TV show, there had be a deep manly voice saying, ‘And now! For more of…………. the Adventures of ………….PPQ!!!!’

And a theme song ala the Green Hornet will blare out and then onscreen, large block letters zoomed out accompanied by the same manly voice.

‘The Mystery of the Chinese Takeaway!!!’ It booms.

Yup! It is truly the subtitle for today’s entry. Of cos, taken into the asian context, perhaps it’ll be more appropriate to change it to….

The Mystery of the Hee Teng Ta-Pao!!!!!

Yup again! It’s another fish porridge episode!

Following the dearth of LK’s dramatic confession, I’ve not been in contact with him since he has finished with this side of the work for the time being. Assuring me that he’ll talk to PPQ however, doesn’t mean it’ll take place any time soon. It seemed that since the weight episode, I had become anathema. The subject of weight, which was by far her second most favourite topic, after men/potential boyfriends, has been abruptly trodden for the time being. After the incident where her large face suddenly plastered too close to mine for my comfort, I’d taken to installing a small mirror above my flat screen to monitor my rear end. Every now and then, I can see her take surreptitious glances at me, trying her best to see exactly where 7kg of flesh might have disappeared to in a space of 2 weeks without her knowledge. Other than that, things seemed to have gone to ground.

But during the rest of the week, I caught snatches of conversations between PPQ and the younger colleagues. Not joining the conversation, I nevertheless heard the murmurings of my colleagues. The words ‘LK”, ‘married’, ‘just friends’, any chances?’, ‘no more going out?’ floated out.

In this regard, I found myself incensed with PPQ’s terrible lack of sense and sensibility. Although the whole context was not wholly taken in, I’m pretty sure they were discussing the topic of LK. Following his confession, I felt it was only right to keep this news from the office or those who knows him. If he wanted to share, he can do so himself. But it’s been barely 2 weeks and already news of his married state is being spread around by PPQ herself. I heard the colleagues murmur condolences to her current ‘alone again’ state and commiserating that LK did not seem agreeable to meet up more often as ‘just friends’. I was sure that PPQ did not mean to spread it as a form of malicious gossip, but only as garnishing to her own problems of being ‘dumped’.

Ever since the recent hoo-haas, I’ve also stopped talking to her on a personal level. I just can’t seem to get enough heart and feelings to open my mouth. It is the truth that I no longer wanted to know what’s going on in her life. It bears no significance, no weight, no effect, not even a ripple to my own, since I don’t care for her the way I do the others. It will soon also spell the demise of this series, but at the very least, today’s entry won’t be much of a disappointment. It involves, of all things, very curious bowl of fish porridge (again) and a cup of regular kopi.

I’d like to say that LK and PPQ have it all over between them. Unfortunately, the episode of LK+PPQ hasn’t ended in the murmurings of the office gals. It is true that LK did eventually tell her, once on a Thursday to roughly run over his sob story, then again on a Sunday, for emphasis. All these, I gleaned from LK on one of his visits for another service, spending approximately 5min at the water dispenser filling me in.

To say that PPQ is upset is an understatement, she is back to ground zero ie nobody loves me. But following LK’s advice, she has stopped borrowing those relationship self-help books.

Nowadays she reads How to Say YES! to Life.

You had have thought everything’s finally gone back to normal. So the next few days were a breeze. No jabs, jibes, complaints, or any topics on LK, men, their eligibility or lack of, her eligibility or lack of and of cos, weight, hers and the rest of the office’s. When the end of the week swung around, I actually thought we could all get through this without a peep. To celebrate, I decided to once again attend the card sessions that were held in the office every lunchtime. And so when the freer gals came around to take order for takeways so we can hole up in office, I asked for rice, 2 veg and 1 meat. Another colleague, Penny, gave her order and also PPQ’s order, which she had passed to her before she went to do some lab work.

Half way through working at the PC in the office, I heard Penny received an SMS beep. Immediately after, she called the gals who was catering for us.

‘Hey, listen up! No need buy for PPQ liao. Her secret admirer bought lunch for her already!’ she chimed.

Silence and then, ‘No no, you have to buy for me, but not for PPQ. She got lunch, but you mustn’t forget me! I don’t have secret admirer like her lah!’ she chuckled.

A red loud siren twirling the words ‘Blog Entry Alert!’ flew a merry-go-round my head. I pinged Penny on MSN.

‘Oy Oy, buy lunch for her liao, how to be secret admirer anymore?’

‘Dunno leh. She just SMS me to revert the order.’

‘Orh…so is a guy ah?’ OK, I could have been more subtle….

‘Yah, she say he delivering.’

‘So nice ah? I must see who later.’

‘Heheheh….inform me if hansem hor.’

So ends the msn interlude. Soon the colleague left and I was alone in the office. I clicked on my blog URL.

Just as I was thinking distractedly and touching up on my entry, a sudden tap on my shoulder and a cheerful ‘hi!’ sent me almost scrambling to either topple the PC screen or use my body as a shield.

‘What what?’ I looked around anxiously. I had just used my mirror to check my itchy eyes and then misplaced it flat on the table. LK’s face loomed above it.

Piak! On came the Google default window to cover the familiar green template of and I turned around to match him face to face, eye to eye with a suspiciously bright smile.

‘Heyyyyy……!! Long time no see!! How are you doing?’ I noticed 2 cups of coffee in a cardboard holder and a lunch of fish porridge in his hands. A vague idea formed in my mind….. Interesting….

For the sake of things, I asked politely, although I already knew the answer.

‘Who’s the lucky person you bought lunch for?’

He looked at his offerings, then calmly went to PPQ’s table and put the foodstuffs on it. Then he unscrewed a cup of kopi and nursed it in his hands and replied, ‘For PPQ.’

‘Huh? Like that only ah? Elaborate leh.’ I teased

He frowned. ‘No special meaning. She sms me to help her buy lunch. Since I was already out lunching, I replied sure and helped.’

Ho ho ho….someone’s being funny and it’s not him.

I made myself a cup of kopi and asked, ‘You already talked to her, right? I thought you did?’


‘Left anything out?’

‘Nope, but it’s a watered down version, none of the dramatics.’

I motioned him to the meeting room. ‘There’s something I need to tell you….’

‘What what? Do I do something wrong again?’ As I kindly ushered him to a seat.

‘Well, you bought lunch for her.’

‘Only cos she asked for it! If I wasn’t eating myself, I wouldn’t have gone any extra mile. Not after talking with her.’

‘So you didn’t sms her and asked her if she’s hungry?’

He was indignant. ‘Unless my HP can type itself, I hardly think so.’

I went for broke. ‘Did you know in our office, we have our own tapao system?’

‘Really? Then why did she sms me?’

A moment of chagrin marched across his face. Then his jaw dropped.


I grinned. I was enjoying this moment a little too much.


‘You sure?’

‘Yup. Today, one order was cancelled at the last moment.’


He looked so scared for a moment that I laughed.

‘Be sure to tell me if you dare to ask her.’

He stared at his empty cup of coffee.

‘Great! I thought the whole thing’s solved…I told you I told her twice…First time on Thursday when she called me and second time on Sunday when she came over.’

‘Eh…aftershock?’ I chortled again. An idea occurred. I announced expectantly.

‘In fact, some girls react badly if you rock their world.’

Silence met this statement a moment longer than was necessary. I tried again.

‘As in you? Like when she met you, you Rock her World? And then metaphorically, when you gave her the bad news, you rocked her world again? You know?’ I coughed.

His jaw closed and his eyebrow lifted in a look of disgust.

‘Wah lau! You very corny, you know?’ He burst out.

‘Hur hur hur….thank you thank you. Incidentally, corn don’t have knees, they have ears.’ A memory of some sort was trying to bug me in the last few seconds, but I couldn’t quite catch it.

With that retort, LK grimaced at the chilliness of the joke and whacked me on the shoulder with his empty cup while I laughed away. He grabbed me by the lanyard around my neck to bring me closer to the security door so he could get himself away from me. 5 seconds later, he was out the door and saying goodbye. Through it all, my sub consciousness was screaming at me and trying to get my attention.

Half way down the corridor, it hit me. I ran to a retreating LK.

‘She went over to YOUR PLACE??!!!’ I shouted. The echo sped through the walls. He spun around, startled.


‘You said she came over. To your place?’

He relaxed.

‘Hah! I know what you’re thinking! She came but she stayed at the void deck, yes? I didn’t invite her to my place.’

‘Unbelievable….’ I’m trying my best not to think my colleague is completely off her rocker but it’s getting harder everyday.

‘Believe it. This tapao thing isn’t too bad already. When I saw the sms was from her, I was filled with utmost dread, so imagine my happiness when it was just an ordinary request to help get a meal.’


‘Gotta go, gal. Before she comes back from her lab. Best to not see her in the next few days. I’ve got work to do.’ Then he spun around and took off.

While I can’t be too sure, I have a feeling that the PPQ series, or at least the LK/PPQ episodes are drawing to a close. LK definitely came off the whole thing the wiser for it, while PPQ remained essentially the same. A bit eccentric, but no less beguiling to other men. Beats me, but I just heard there’s yet another guy going after her. Perhaps one day she may indeed find the one person who suits her. Of cos, he’ll probably be dumber than a puppet with its mouth glued shut and emptier than an open packet of chips in a rat’s nest (I’ve been watching too much Hannah Montana), but hey, there’s one for everyone out there, ya?




JayWalk said...

"...corn don’t have knees, they have ears....


ah fatt's fan said...

Such girls can be scary when they are cornered emotionally.........

shun kueh said...

haha, maybe the "Hee Teng" taste better after LK's magical touch.
She may even put this bowl of "Hee Teng" on the pedestal and worship it. wahaha

nadnut said...

rock her world? *scratches head*

ivanny said...

LOL... i would love to hear u do an audio of the PPQ saga stories... and don't forget the opening jingle you were talking abt at the start of this entry. muahaha...

i can totally imagine you imitating the "deep manly voice saying, ‘And now! For more of…………. the Adventures of ………….PPQ!!!!’

And a theme song ala the Green Hornet will blare out" kind of scene... ;)

Ensui said...

I agree. Some girls can be scary when they get emotional.

But she still doesn't seem get LK's message. Maybe he'll have better luck in literally hammering the message into her puny brain. >.<

Ang Ku Kueh said...


hey, I am the Corn queen, u know?

ah fatt's fan:

yes .... like completely kee siao.

shun kueh:

EEEeeeeee..... no wonder she stinks of fish today!! hehhee...joking...:)


ok lah! its not a very good joke lah!


hey! that's an idea! then can do the audio without having to write....hmmm...i'll think abt it!


no brain..hammering wun work...transplant better...aiyo...i so bad.

ah fatt's fan said...

I don't see PPQ as having no brain. I see her more as being in a state of denial. Self delusion needs stupid actions to support.

Ang Ku Kueh said...

ah fatt's fan:

how very true...