Saturday, May 19, 2007

Tears over Scrambled Eggs....

Dear all,

i know lot of people here would like to know lots more details about PPQ and are wondering if the series are going to go on. I promise you, if there’s anything, I’ll be the first to update. Just so that you know, everything’s in real-time, yes? So that means that when nothing happens, nothing gets blogged. And sad to say, for the readers, PPQ has decided that I’m not fit for personal conversations anymore. On my part, my Bacardi days have become less and less, which is good for the pocket and the liver. I’m not sad she doesn’t confide in me. If I was, it’ll only be because I couldn’t write more about her in my blog. What kind of person would I be, yea?

Yesterday, I went out on date with a bunch of people I had not seen in a while. I was enjoying myself immensely and increasingly with every alcohol, so when my handphone beeped today morning, I was under the covers still and trying to swat it.

It was a female friend and since her voice sounded a bit quavery, I gave a groan and forced myself to wake up. When I called her back 10 minutes later, she sounded normal again.

Why, gal? What’s wrong? I asked her.

It’s nothing, she replied, I think I just called on the whim. We’ve not met a while, how are you?

So far so good, but come on, I know something’s up. Care to spill?

There was a sigh from the other end.

Ok, but when I’m finished, don’t hold it against anyone.

Woah, sounds bad. Ok I promise.

You know yesterday you were calling me to ask me where I was? Actually I was right in the heart of Clarke Quay, in XYZ pub.

Really? Then why didn’t you tell me? I was at ABC, I could have met you up!

Aiyah, I was with frens mah. Listen to me first, can?

Okok, sorli sorli, do go on.

You know how it is rite? My hubby nowadays very busy, doesn’t have much time for me. So I’ve been going out a bit more often and meeting up with frens. Then yesterday nite, I was feeling quite buzzed. My frens called other frens who called others so it turned out to be a really big crowd all sitting together.

Yah, and then?

So of cos, everyone got passed around from known to unknown, trying to make frens etc etc.

I replied, thinking about my own gathering yesterday. Did something happen?

Nah….only that I got a few people trying to hook me. I was wearing a short skirt.

Hehehhe….that’s hardly surprising.
I imagine her long legs, usually encased in loose jeans, clad in a short skirt. Any number of guys would go panting after her. But like me, she married pretty early.

So what? That's all you want to say? You called me early just to tell me you scored a few guys' business cards?

No, Akk, will you just listen?

OK OK….sorli sorli….go on pls.

Akk, I haven't felt this good in a long while. Haven't been out like this, doing the 'pub rounds' since I left PR. It's like all these are new to me and I'm this green gal happily sucking up the attention…..I felt so flattered…


And….and this morning, I woke up bright and cheerful and happy. So this was how I felt when I made breakfast for hubby.


So when he was watching the news and reading his papers in the living room, I just asked him from the kitchen, would you like toast or cereal, he said toast. I asked would he like eggs, he said yes and then I asked him if he's them scrambled and soft-boiled, he said.....

What did he say?

The hitch in her voice came back again.

He said, any damn eggs will do, why you want to shoot me so many questions in the morning? Why can't you shut up?


her voice sounded dangerously hoarse now. My heart just suddenly lurched and it hurt. Just standing in the kitchen, with a saucepan in one hand, eggs in the other, I just started tearing up. All I could think about was that I'm the greatest wife in the world, that I don't care that guys still try to screw me just because I’m a pair of legs but I don't let them, that I think about him all the time and whether his job is working him too hard and that I made myself wake earlier every single day, hangover or not, and worry about his breakfast and whether he prefers his eggs scrambled, hard-boiled or soft!

My friend fell silent after this outburst. I could tell she's crying.

Where is he now? I asked.

Eating breakfast.

And you?

I'm now in the bathroom.
She sniffed. I don't care how many business cards I get from cute strangers, I just want him to see me again. He didn’t even blink at my skirt.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. Don't think too much, dearie. Everything's ok, I shushed her with nonsensical words while she snuffled quietly on top of the toilet seat, her husband sittng just a room away, eating his blessed scrambled eggs and toast obliviously.

Why don't you talk to him?

Nah...I can't keep him from his work. He's in a difficult phase now.

We chatted a while till she calmed down long enough to put down the phone and go back to sleep for her hangover.

Hang in there, ok? My parting words for her before she hung up.

Yes, Ma'am. Now I'll go hide my puffy eyes from him, just in case he noticed.

It may not such a bad idea, him noticing.

No, I want him to see me the way those pub guys saw me yesterday.

OK, no yellow-faced fishwife, I agree.

The chirp is back in her voice. Ok, gotta go, thanks for listening.

Anytime for you, dearie. Anytime.

I put down the phone. This friend is fairly special because we are very similar, our circumstances, our age and our personality. Especially our determination to find happiness in everything or anything. Lemonade from lemons and all that crap.

But sometimes, I wonder if it's a good thing. Just yesterday, steps from where my poor fren was, I was also enjoying myself with my own bunch.

‘Wah lau! Take pic with me leh, I want those 2 things inside!’ Those 2 things referring to the 2 mammaries that were, for once, in their life, released from the confines of a wire prison in public. My newly minted Victoria’s secret low-cut top came with insets to take away the necessity of wearing a bra. I can see that my accompanying friend (female) loved them a lot and tried to zoom in to the valley after the pic was taken.

A, on the other hand, didn’t say anything apart from ‘It’s quite nice, dear.’ and ‘Goes with the shoes’, then finally, ‘Time to go or we’ll be late for work.’


But at least he doesn’t scream at me over eggs.






desperate addict said...

I teared on this one. *hug*

zhe bin said...

Hmm. Feel quite sorry for your friend. Initially I also thought if her husband noticed her puffy eyes it might get them talking or something. Then later as I read on I realised, yeah, she's right. Letting him see her the way the pub guys saw her is a better idea. In fact the greatest. Who knows he might just get frustrated again at her crying "for nothing" or what.

Anyway, I don't think that was a lemon lah. Is your A the kind that goes "Woo, I like that" or he's just the kind that prefers to hide saying woo-i-like-that kinda stuffs, prefering to say "It's quite nice"?

ah fatt's fan said...

Normally, i am the one preparing breakfast for my wife and kids..........

Ensui said...

I really despise people who think that once they're married, they can take their partners for granted. >.<

As for your A... well, we guys don't usually say much, so please forgive us if we don't gush over your new dress/shoes/jewelry. :p

Meepok said...

AKK – I empathise and sympathise with your friend's predicament.

Men can be really insensitive at times.
Somehow men view the world with a different set of filters from women.
Hence John Gray's book "Men are from Mars and Women are fro Venus."

I am guilty of being oblivious to changes my wife makes to her appearance / wardrobe.
But being married 8 year has taught me to be more attuned to these changes.
Still, I struggle with "spot the difference" game, but I try.

Having said the above, rude behaviour is inexcusable.
That is the case with your friend's hubby.
I think she should let her hubby know how she feels about the matter.
Calling you while sobbing in the toilet will not resolve matters.

To have a meaningful relationship, it's not about finding the right person.
It's being the right person.
At this juncture, I feel your friend should be the person to create an openness in the relationship where feelings are communicated.
Such hurt and disgruntlements should not be allowed to snowball.
There can only be one consequence if this persists ……

Ang Ku Kueh said...

desparate addict:

aww....thanks. I'll transfer the hug.


saying it looks nice and going genuinely lustful are 2 very different emotions. I'd take no. 2 anytime, but it's rare to surface.

ah fatt's fan:

a very lucky woman your wife is! then i hope she never snaps at you for giving her breakfast choices...


it's not shoes or jewellery, it's a pair of mammaries, breasts...

hmm...i guess A's a leg man huh? no wonder... hehhehe...


a stunning comment. but i believe from your entry about worklife balance, that your wife may understand why sometimes its best not to increase the stress or rock the boat over another issue from home while the hubby is already trying very hard to forge a career. It's good to be open, but it must be chosen at the rite time, i can imagine the hubby getting all defensive and feeling all disgruntled because he is trying his best bringing in the bacon. So he's a little distracted and grumpy, even negligent, can anyone blame him? I'd say no. That said, not a lot of ppl can balance their worklife like you, who reached a conclusion through your own reflection. How many of us out there can self-reflect over the past and decide that things should change? Most people cant even say sorry nowadays. However, I agree that she should talk to him about it, just not at this present time.

kachuaz said...

sad reality. *shudders*

never know what the future lies in store...

ah fatt's fan said...


She won't because i don't give her any choices. :รพ

She doesn't need any choices because i know exactly how she likes her scrambled eggs done. Asking too many questions probably just show how lacking i am in understanding my wife.

nadnut said...

‘Wah lau! Take pic with me leh, I want those 2 things inside!’ Those 2 things referring to the 2 mammaries that were, for once, in their life, released from the confines of a wire prison in public. My newly minted Victoria’s secret low-cut top came with insets to take away the necessity of wearing a bra. I can see that my accompanying friend (female) loved them a lot and tried to zoom in to the valley after the pic was taken.

wah lao. your friend sounds quite pervertic! :P *cough*

Ang Ku Kueh said...


eh...but no harm trying gambling, big stakes, big wins sometimes...small stakes, little impact.

ah fatt's fan:

that's good, means your wife is decisive! When it comes to me, i like my eggs in all kinds and can eat any type in the morning and may actually have a preference during different mornings. i'm the variety sort, so heng to A, he doesn't make breakfast, i do. :)


wah lao!!! don't hide lah! It's you lah! still pretend pretend!!!

Meepok said...

akk - communicating feelings is an art. Timing is one aspect, the others are tone of delivery, and settings (environment). The key is to make it as less threatening as possible.

Gd luck to your friend as she seeks her way to tell her hubby how she feels.

Anonymous said...

hi! She needs to talk to her husband, and sooner the better. I don't get this idea of not wanting to show him the 'fish wife' face and wanting him to see her the way the guys see her. The fact is, he already knows how attractive his wife is; what he needs to do is to stop taking her for granted. ASAP. and she needs to tell her husband that she FEELS that he's taking her for granted. Of course, he'll start denying that he is, but reality is, she feels this way, ergo, it's real to her. therefore he needs to sit up and take notice.

It is very flattering to the ego to go out with new friends/new strangers who think she's attractive both physically and mentally and I laude her for not falling to the temptation of such new friends.

Her husband may not be so lucky next time.

marsha said...

oh boy....a lot of people are going through this thing. she needs to talk and then if that doesn't work, I say it's over! wait too long and all the fishes are baited and one ends up a lonely old woman with no one to manja her or love her or at least respect her liao

Ang Ku Kueh said...


again, not many ppl know that art of delivery.:) how many ppl have u known who can't communicate well?


that's true. but sometimes girls just don't tell, you know? it adds to the current stress of the hubby. and if the hubby has a distinctive way of addressing a prob, ie. defensive. after a while, she wun wan to really talk anymore, yes?

and i agree, her hub wun be so lucky next as much as i would her to have a great coupled life, I always tell her that she must never lose her own independence, just in case things go belly-up. I live by this also.


sometimes its a bit tough for ppl to walk away. Most will always think of the few good times among the many bad times to justify them staying longer in something. As for respect, it's earned. so long as she holds her head high and don't do anything without a good thinking-over, i think it's fine.:)