Friday, June 09, 2006

Chronicles of A vol. 7: hmmm.....

Hi all!

you know that when ppl get maried, we are all supposed to be trusting of one another. i think trusting A is all well and good, if only my own inferiority can catch up with his multitude of chio, rich frens ala AC days.

so can i ask if i should even open my mouth about that batch of photos strewn over this desk? 2 of which showed this gal leaning against a car at a carshow.

why being worried is a given:

1) she is chio.
2) she is slim (and has ab muscles like what i used to have).-_____-
3) she is fair with a beautifully made up face and flawless skin.
4) she is one of the showgals at the car show and her bod is better than mine and she's not wearing much to cover it up.
5) there's double-sided tape behind the pic. it's a no brainer to confirm that it had been displayed somewhere till now.
6) the rest are office pics with colleagues and bunches of guys and gals. and there ain't no pics of me.

why i shouldn't worry:

1) it was my name on the piece of marriage cert.
2) he is not stupid. he would have hid it if it was important. or perhaps by reverse psychology, he didn't think he was doing anything wrong.
3) my pic is on his handphone screensaver and wallpaper and he sees me almost everyday.
3) And the lousiest of all reasons and yet which is the basic backbone of the marriage union (ie. based on pure trust that no one is lying and which can never be scientifically proven)-he said he loves me.

so after i've weighed the pros and cons, it's not a wonder to conclude:

---------------I'm worried-------------------

i have been known to be too scientific and years of reading journals of men being naturally polygamous is not helping me win this tussle for level-headedness. i hate that i should be distrustful, but i also think it's my survival instinct kicking in. which woman can't help but feel inadequate when faced with a man's sometimes seemingly callous actions (ie. he should have put them pics away knowing i'm pretty inferior as a person)?

Someone pls offer some opinions/explanations. especially if u are a guy. OTOH, can the gals tell me what u'd do in such a situation? should i ask him about it? it's hardly rifling thru his drawers. heck, they were lying on his desk fit for any eyes walking past his room.

thanks! Will keep updated.


akk. :)


ah fatt's fan said...

Most probably he doesn't even know what's the girl's name now. Nothing to worry about lah. Looking is one thing, loving is another.

Jay "Add Oil. Add Vinegar" Walk said...

The chiobu photos that you found are photos that couldn't fit into his big secret box of ex-gf photos.

Er... I am not really helping here, am I? :P

Adrenaline said...

maybe u can jokingly ask him who that girl is. If it's juz a pic of someone he didn't know but find chio, then u can laugh it off and tease him.

if it's someone he knows, or used to like, juz tell him straight lor, then u find it weird for him to display that pic when none of ur pic is on display.

frankly, i can accept it if my partner displays posters of angelina jolie, but of another girl friend (without him in the pic some more) is a little too weird. I mean, we would display individual pics only of people who are special to us, isn't it?

tempest said...

Just ask lor. Scientific training should teach you to obtain all available information first before formulating a hypothesis. I don't see what the problem is, as long as you aren't accusatory about it. :-p

Those photos might be leftovers from his 'still single' days right? And You do allow him to have female friends right? Hehehe.

ah fatt's fan said...

I only know that you should really be worried if that photo is of a guy instead of a girl......

Ang Ku Kueh said...

thanks to all (except jay) for your input. i also think its nothing (becos he got brains). i shall take ur advice into consideration!


no lor, it didn't help at all. i thought i was the only one who had a secret box of hansem ex-bf pics.....haiyah, now i shall have to hide it more properly just in case.

but his ex-gfs are strangely threatless in my eyes. they are pretty dumb and clingy, for all their education. it's his gal frens i'm wary of, who are usually beyond beautiful and supremely rich and eloquent. hmmmmm....

ah fatt's fan:

muahahaha!!! u are right! at least it's not a guy! i feel better liao, a case of glass-half-full.

milktea said...

If it's a photo of someone he doesn't even know personally, I don't think there should be something to worry about.

Zhe Bin said...

Maybe one day you can hop onto his bed, grab the photo, roll about in bed (in the relaxed and casual manner), looking at the photo all the while, stop, then ask him,

"Hey do I know this girl ah?" --> complete with a smile, and earnest curiosity.

"(His reply here)"

"Do you think I can be race queen?" --> er.. personally I think this is a gd question to show that it is not a confrontation. u know, casual talk.

"(His reply here should be about your eligibility, and then about the girl.)"

Then slowly slowly you can sound him out already mah right. I think that's not a problem for you lah haha.

However hor..... If it were me, there'll be a burning question I wanna ask - DID YOU TAKE THE PHOTO? THIS PHOTO APPEAR FROM WHERE ONE!

Ya lor. I think you can just treat him like a friend and talk lah. If not next time you find his secret box of ex gf's photos then how? ; )

Jaschocolate said...

zhebin's idea is good.. Just have a simple talk with A. That's what i will do.. cos if you kept keeping it in your heart, where's the trust? Trust does not mean follow blindly.. It have to be earned. The talk can also let him know that he will need to be more careful in the future as he had a different role now (husband now, future daddy in the making?).

But one thing to note, guys hate gals who are nagging types and too insecure and all.. sooooooooooo be tactful during the conversation. :p

Jaschocolate said...

And dont forget that he did married you because of you.. That's the most impt reason.. Nobody is perfect or everyone is God liao..

Rach said...

Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog, and I must say its a really good read. You have a flair for humour. I like the way you portray yourself as a little rough around the edges, and how u're not embarrassed to show your less than glamorous side. Awesome read! Kudos!

KoreanHouseWife said...

I think I will rather not ask, know or cling on to stuff tats related to his past. I look forward to the future with him. Firstly, U need to convince yrself tat U are gd enough for him. From the way U write, I can tell U are a gem, gifted and rather special. The heart is a lonely hunter. Isnt it great to finally found someone tat U really like? Cherish...

lakeside girl said...

2) he is not stupid. he would have hid it if it was important. or perhaps by reverse psychology, he didn't think he was doing anything wrong.
3) my pic is on his handphone screensaver and wallpaper and he sees me almost everyday.

these 2 are good enough reasons to justify already! dont worry too much, akk!

every girl wants to be on a handphone screensaver, u lucky gal. :)

sharon said...

dear newly wed

have faith in yourself and husband. maybe, your husband has forgotten to throw away the picture.

if it really bothers you, throw the picture away.

what matters most is both of you love each other.

Jayaxe said...

Erm, I don't know if it's being wet blanket but the ring and the cert don't have the power to keep a man completely faithful.

Then again, pictures of the racer girl and friends shouldn't be spark worries either. It's more of body language that you probably should take note of.

Jeff said...

The photos could be just some nice 'deco' thing to put up with once upon a time. And it's now less interesting and hence taken down.

If there is something going on, I am sure the photos are well kept away from you instead of revealing. :)

So, you have no worries. :)

But if you are still bothered by it, a casual chat should be brought up instead of harboring 'doubts' inside. 2-way communication always promotes understanding.

Hope this help.

Starbursting said...

I guess you have to be honest with yourself. If you were to ask and didn't like the answer would you be able to take it down with dignity.
Regardless, if it would eat you alive inside by letting your mind run wild, it's still best to ask him.
From personal experience, better to have a 50% chance of hearing something comforting than letting the craziness of the mind eat me alive.
In any case, it probably doesnt mean anything anyway

Winter said...

its always such a sticky situation to be.

ask jay whether he would be willing to put a girl's photo around which he had *coughs* a fling with. :P

trust is always important in a relationship. But if there's anything you are not comfortable with, it's good to clarify. Dun always keep it in your mind. It's going to result in unhappiness growing overtime

One point to note though, sometimes knowing too much is not good. The smartest woman is a woman who knows to act silly and act blur.

On another note, you are still pretty rational. hehe. Take good care yah :)

xfen said...

Hello..juz stumbled upon ur blog..nice blog :) Re the issue, could it be that your hubby is interested in the car displayed in the fotos? (Dunno whether I am being lame here, sori) Anyway, it's really a gd idea for you to talk to him. i also think Zhebin's idea is gd. Trust between couple is very impt. Gd luck to ya!

Jay "Coughing" Walk said...

winter: Can tell you are quite the amatuer when it comes to *cough* flings *cough cough*.

If it is a fling hor, where got photos one? Never leave anything that would incriminate you in the future.

Eat already must remember to wipe mouth!

Winter said...

jay> that was the point i am trying to say lor

if got fling, where got so stupid to leave evidence lying around. Already burnt it.


Blueheeler - the dog that sniffs out fishy news said...

ALL married guys still look at chio women; we can't help it. So if all he's doing is going to a car show to snap some photos of some bimbo bikini-models who can't get a proper full-time job, then you have no worries at all.
Oh, we love to look at porn also, but it doesn't mean that we don't love you...