Friday, July 08, 2005

I have many policies....

Hi all!


I have many policies that I told myself I should follow strictly when I started my blog. But as time goes by, I’ve become more comfortable with strangers knowing more abt me that I’ve become a bit lax. Not that it did not pay off, becos I ended up getting a new bunch of frens, whom I think are fun and great to know better. But of cos, getting to know them better might make them end up as my frens.....and in real life, my frens dun know I blog becos I just might write abt them one day. Hmm.....I’m in a fix, I know, becos I’m admitting that I’m putting my friends on the waiting list for potential stories....


Wanna be my fren? Eheheh…. :)



Oh heck, this is not the issue lah. Again I digress. Today’s topic is about policies. My policies. Incidentally, I realised they are subjected to change becos things change. Here’s a quote that is always true which u can always use without going wrong:


The only unchanging thing in Life is Change itself.



my policies:

I have a no-photo policy.
I dun post pics, perhaps next time when I eventually lost my virginity and want to clelebrate my release from eternal maiden bondage (yes…I can imagine some guys are thinking koyak already), I might do a SPG, I’ll never know, actually. Or maybe I shall be so disgusted with the whole business of my virginity that I’ll do it anyway, or maybe I finally, through surgical means, arrive at my ideal drop-dead-gorgeous body (ala Jessica Alba), then I’ll also do a bikini shoot….who knows, eh?



But of cos, right now, I’m still too comfortable in my anonymity and too inferior abt my body to try such a stunt...but then there’s always tomorrow….



I have a no-politics policy.

I refuse to talk abt it or whine abt it. Even here in Happy Blogland there are cases of ppl playing poker and holding aces, flashing them out time to time to tell the common man, ‘hey, you’re a fry, I’m not. I’m right up here’. Some use viewership to perpetuate certain comments and opinions that creates ripples of contention and a few blogicides along the way. Yes, the best players whine their way out for reader sympathy while their victims crash and burn. I find it all inane, almost amusing and really immature. Name-dropping of celebrities, on or off blog, is especially bleah for me.



In my way, I show my dissention by putting links that I only care about and read about. I use to read mr brown, but he became too much of a celebrity now, it’s just…not the same. I use to put his link up and always wondered if I should also link to all the popular ones so that in one fine day, they might notice that I honour their presence and put in my URL in their entry one day. But I decided not to, becos I really dun read their blogs and no matter how good they write, there are always better writers who are underexposed. I feel like I should support them instead.



I have subsequently removed mr brown from my links and instead, in his place, put up blogspots which I always visit and who visits me. There is such a thing call loyalty and I’m happy to know it exists even online. For me, my blog links have become personal, a serial drama is unfolding on an everyday basis, I relate, I empathise, I hope and I feel for the ppl I read abt becos similarly, I am happy that I have some readers who’s been reading me all the way and can relate to past events that directly connects to a present entry. For all who are new, I welcome u to my blog and funnily enough, all who read me, wrote beautiful entries also. I think this is priceless. Hehehe......




I have a no-current affairs policy.

I dun want to talk about the world as it is today. I try not to whine abt bus hikes unless it directly relates to me being stuck at the front door without enough money in my EZ-link and quarrelling with the driver. I try not to talk abt property prices and how getting a condo now is really reachable unless it relates to me getting married soon and having to get a house of my own. I try not to....ok, u get the pic.


Terrorism and religion, are the 2 most taboo discussions anyone can have right now. Everyone have their opinions and usually, ppl with opinions nevertheless think they are right and have ways to justify why they are right. How can anyone argue with anybody else? There’s just no way becos everyone tries to hold their position with the truth as they see it, it’s like battle drome all over again: 2 opponents stand on 2 high columns and see who whack the other off the pole with a big sponge bat. Whack whack whack....




We all need to listen to each other but we never do. I myself am very opinionated, which is why I try not to discuss certain issues or I’ll just go all over the place just insulting everyone and possibly get flamed, then I’ll commit my own blogicide....



But for this once, I’m going to break the rule a little. I just want to say, in light of all the current tragedy that has happened in London, is this:


God is not an excuse to commit murder. Doing it ‘For’ God is instigating your own Omnipotent Being as the Conspirator. That is Slander. And whoever like a tale-tatter? Not God lor. You’re going to Hell.



There, I’ve said it, flame me now.


******

One light-hearted moment today: A smsed to say, in his typical reticent manner: hi. how r u? dinner? miss u...

******

Incidentally, have u ever tried to sms somebody only to send ur hardwork, blood and sweat to a house phone instead? Of cos u have! Do u know that you can sms to home phones actually?


Oh, I can hear you thinking: how to read the msg ah?


Here’s the answer, it’s not read, it’s read OUT to you. Imagine the words spoken with the exact same voice like your hp voice messages, eg. ‘you have reached mailbox number…9…7….6…x….x…x….x….x’. Not the one that says ‘you’ve reached...’ but the one that recites the numbers....that mechanical, monotonous woman’s voice, yes...



Anyways, my fren smsed and send it to my house phone and I happened to pick it up...



I was utterly mystified, becos it sounded like a super-cultured, no-accent androgenic woman's voice talking gibberish.

She said, very clearly,

'nee-ha-ooo, free on tiu-sss for cheap food...' and something else that I couldn't catch.




I tried to talk to the voice but it was clearly automated.... only then did my own HP beeped and I got the original msg from my fren--- ‘ni haooo!!!! Free on tues for cheep food? :) '---The system is in such a way that the woman literally said ‘tues’ instead of Tuesday. I also got a slightly raised volume to account for the ‘!!!!’. The chinese greeting ‘ni hao’ became ‘nee ha-ooooo’



........Incredible.......I was wondering what would she sound like if I send the following sms back to my fren’s house phone?


‘Grt! Let’s go for hokkien Froggy Chok in cheenatwn! U pay! Yippeeeeee!!!! Got outing! Cya tues at BV bs!’



Incidentally Chok is porridge, ‘cheenatwn’ is Chinatown. BV bs is Buona Vista bus stop, but I would absolutely love to hear that icy cool dead voice drone out ‘hokkien froggy chok’, pronounce the word ‘grt’ and ‘twn’ after ‘cheenatwn’, swear culturedly using ‘bs’ and recite ‘yippeeeeee’ and drag the eeeees…..



But I didn’t...becos I was too busy forwarding the original sms back to my own house phone...i needed to check something... the last of the sms I couldn't catch and I want to find out what it was...


I couldn’t move for a few minutes after laughing stitches after the voice intoned the same msg in her wierd manner and I caught the end of it:

‘ ...blah blah blah.....Sender is laughing at you....’


That was for the smiley face....




Muahahhaahhahaha........


Out!

AKK

30 comments:

Winter said...

i like the last part...

sender is laughing at you... tat's really funny.. just cracks me up

:)

nadnut said...

lol. i didnt know abt the smiley face one. :P

finishing up my photos soon!

hahaa. when u going phuket? i wanna go again!

ur lil bro said...

wow.. the sms-to-phone thing is better now.. I used to pick up the phone only hearing the voice spelling out every word...

Jaschocolate said...

... From serious to funny.. i cant adjust liao.. :p but i have fun laughing too.. hee

Tempest Blue said...

hey, I learnt something new today! I didn't know that house phones can receive SMS. I'm definitely going to try it. :-)

As for choosing what to blog, there's really no need to justify anything to your readers. What you blog is what you want to blog. I'm cool with that. :-)

stoned.nerd said...

i like that no-politics policy.

with all due respect, some of the more popular blogs are way overrated. like you implied, some blogs are pretty good even w/o the heavy readership. the bloggers become more personal. and inadvertently they're just more humble.

i'd get to the rest of your points when i finish reading them next time.

:P

Ang Ku Kueh said...

Vanna:

thanks for dropping by! the sms system not I invent one...although i'm reaping the humour counter...:) copyright issues..

Nad:

hehehe...see if account got enuff money to go! but i am planning one becos I wan go foreign beach!

lil bro:

u mean, u know abt this?? never tell me!

choccolove:

hehe, sad to funny? aiyo, roller-coaster ride siah. BTW, sorry ah, i lazy now, give me time and I shall add a link to you soon, eheheh....

tempest:

I just ran out of things to say, so i talked abt these random topics instead, ehehhe....not becos I justifying. :) no worries, I'm not bowing down to viewer preferences either...see how long this entry is again?

stoned nerd:

ehhehhe..... not finish reading? OT-OT then :)

Hisreason said...

"Sender is laughing at you". Ultimate! Haha....

And yes. I'm sick of politics and stuff. Bleah!

Zen|th said...

I have a no self-picture policy. Haha. And that no politics policy is always a smart way to go.

Jaschocolate said...

Oh my god.. i am so touched and honoured... i want to thank my mother, my brother and whoever it matters..

Btw, no rental fee hor.. since not using my pics, just the name.. haha

stoned.nerd said...

okay just finished reading the second part.

haha that was funny alright. i shall try it someday. you reckon they do vulgar words as well? ;)

nadnut said...

updated!

Ang Ku Kueh said...

hisreason and zenith:

yuppers...you guys have been around longer than me lah, probably saw more than u liked abt politics here also....


chocolove:

nono..honour's mine, ur blog's great. :)

stoned nerd:

er...i tried already. Fuck became 'ferk'...it's just not the same as reading it yourself, eheheh.... :)

nad:

woohoo! going! :)

lakeside girl said...

hi...this is one engaging entry. :)Anonymity is something i'm starting to envy nowadays.

stars_of_rain said...

Oh my goodness. I cant stop laughing!!!

Does this mean:
:) - sender is smiling at you
:D - sender is laughing at you
:( - sender is frowning at you
:'( - sending is crying

I must give it a try!

Yan Yehn-Yohn said...

Aheheheheee....I just tried it out(and yes, I didn't know about it either). Very the fun leh!

JellyGirl said...

I think it's perfectly fine to dictate the rules on your blog. After all, it's on your own blog what, you get to be blog-nazi!

Also, didn't know about that sms-home phone thing. Innnnteresting!

Ang Ku Kueh said...

crunchy green apple:

hihi! thanks for dropping by! anonymymymyty (dunno how to spell suddenly) is a precious resource down here, i agree, altho the temptation to flash an eye or my nose is always there. heng my HP not that good and i dun have digi-cam...:)

stars of rain:

hahaha...the same thing kena me. i also tried swearwords after reading stoned-nerd's comments, u can try also if u are as corrupted as me, although i assure u, the pronunciation not too good....:)

yan:

hahaha...what msg u try ah? maybe i try a super-lomantic msg, see what the voice does...:)

jellygirl:

thanks for the encouragement! yes, i'm my own blog-nazi, i have to remember that and not sell my soul...ehehehe. have fun with the smsing! :) caution: i dunno how much it cost leh...

Zhe Bin said...

haha please dont do a SPG. not that i have anything against her but i love the way u are now. the 2 pieces of ang ku kueh. hahaha.

Ang Ku Kueh said...

zhe bin:

hey, simple star!awww....so sweet, although I'm a bit confused over the 2 pieces of kueh...u mean my pic? oh yes, cut into 2, u mean? that's what I am lah...innards' exposed and spilling my puts out here on my blog.....

Zhe Bin said...

haha you remember my previous display name! yeah, that's what i meant, ur pic.

wally said...

eh don't post your pic... later you become so popular that you forget me liao...

Yan Yehn-Yohn said...

The message I sent was too vulgar lah. Kekekee...

Jaywalk said...

Aiyoh.... so many mentions of "policies" in a single blog entry. Confirm sure to send all the insurance agents into delirium!!

Ang Ku Kueh said...

zhe bin:

hehehe...ok..thank goodness, for a while, i was wondering abt the '2 pcs' of AKK...eheheh...

wally:

pls lah! post pic scarly lose all my readers....fwah...die! better not, ehehhe...

yan:

say say! hehehe...:)

jaywalk:

hehehe....got so many meh? dun have lash, later part of entry topic far far way liao. hehehe...delirium of happiness or sadness ah? :)

Yan Yehn-Yohn said...

Cannot cannot...I paiseh lah! LOL!

ivanny said...

i love pictures!!! put more pics!!! lol...nevertheless ur blog is still very much interesting enuf to keep me coming back...lol... =)

oh yeah i received sms from a blur friend via hse phone b4 also.... i din understand a hoot the "woman" said except for my frenz HP number! imagine me searching my hp phone book one by one just to look for the correct match to the number i heard...lol...

Ang Ku Kueh said...

yan:
paiseh! bluff! :)

ivanny!

u so cute! u actually went to check all the no.s??!! hahaha...so funny! incidentally, I like ur blog too! heheh...i was intro to u by Temp and Av. :) No regret! :)

Kelly Chan said...

I always note it down whenever I got ideas for blog.

But always too busy or lazy to blog...

Ang Ku Kueh said...

hey ni hao! nice of u to drop by! being oo lazy or busy to blog means u have a great big life out there..eheheh...congratualtions! :)