Crush Compilation

If you are an early bird to my blog, you would have read about this love-hate thing I have with crushes. I have crushes on any number of people who represented a certain ideal. Head Prefect in primary school days was a particular hit with me. I had a crush ever since puberty on every single guy who became the Head Prefect, no matter how geeky/nerdy/skinny/fat he looked.


I also crushed the Class Joker during secondary school, not just from my class but Jokers from every other class. It definitely had something to do with our school being very communist and therefore very militant. We had a school anthem that sounded very much like all of Chairman Mao’s Communist Propaganda songs. Guys cannot have hair touching the lower half of the neck, that’s OK, but girls cannot have long hair unless they are dancers from the Chinese Dance Troop.


Like, huh? No long hair? Once my swimmer friend trained so hard her hair got bleached brown by the sun. The discipline mistress made her dyed it Black.



Subsequently, in the midst of onset of puberty and teenage angst, we were made into clones of each other. We all looked the same, guys and gals alike. U can only differentiate the 2 sexes apart by the 2 extra bumps on the chest. But then, some girls, however much they wished for it, don’t have breast and some guys, however much they deny it, have them, so gender Identity crisis abound. To avoid embarrassment, relationships took a backseat and studying became the main aim. U could say that our Principal was a man with very far sightedness, becos he surely missed all the looks of hatred from the angsty teenagers he himself created. We are not just co-ed, we are uni-sex......



We represented humanity if humanity didn’t f**k .....



Those were the days lah........me teeming with hormones, heart pumping hard beneath my bumps (thank goodness I had them) whenever my crush breezed by......sighz.....



Fast forward ............*whirrrrlllll*....................to Uni-days:



I had a crush on the:

• Hostelite Dude
  
  He who always look so sexily unkempt in flip-flops and tousled hair.
  
  
  He is always late, looked like he never slept (which is true *snigger*) and always borrowed lecture notes from the girls. Obviously the girls gave him what he asked for and more *snigger*. I was never chosen to be a lecture-note-giver although I took notes aplenty (whenever he was around). I think it’s mostly becos my handwriting look like chicken scratchings but physically, I also obviously did not make the cut. Sadly, looking good and writing pretty are mutually exclusive from me.
  
  
  
  
• Dean-Lister
  
  He who was a perfectionist.
  
  
  He didn’t care who was on his team as long as he took charge of the whole project. Good for lazybones like me who just hung on and did whatever he asked….knowing full well he’ll change everything anyway and do the whole thing himself instead. But in the end, everyone would get A+ for the project ......hehehe. A good Dean-Lister to have a crush on is one who is never jealous abt anyone else’s results becos he’s already too high up there for the likes of us small fries to aspire. So he is actually very friendly and will freely give away his notes if u ask for them. He actually manage to take time off to tutor other ppl, although most of them are gals and probably half of them gals just wanted an excuse to breath the air of high IQ surrounding him.
  
  
  
  
• Practical Partner
  
  He who was this useless guy who wouldn’t life a finger to pour H2O into the beaker.
  
  
  Can’t help it, close proximity at practical benches have always been high on the Science Faculty List of Lomantic Places to Meet ur Other Half. Basically, science ppl are pretty studious, we don’t chiong much and hardly ever get drunk enuff to commit pre-marital sex, so having a Pract Partner whose not half-bad-looking for the whole semester can raise a girl’s hormones into overdrive come every tues and thurs.
  
  
  Practical Partner is strongly affliated to the Hostelite Dude becos he just basically ‘nuah’ around the whole lab. I had to do everything myself. He didn’t have a bone in his body and possessed an interesting way of standing/sitting that could make any lecturer angry. He acts like ice-cream under the hot sun. He’d sit on the bench and just melt away quietly and efficiently while pandemonium rages around him.
  
  
  So he’d just go ‘nuahing’ all over his side of the bench while I would be running around like a headless chicken doing his bit of the project. But I forgive him everytime he flash me a smile when I handed him OUR results…I know lor…I so pathetic hor…sighz…
  
  
  
  
  
• PE Teacher-like/Officer
  
  He who always wore polo tees like he plays tennis everyday.
  
  
  It took a while to notice him becos he was never very flashy, he didn’t slump and fall over the chair with a big crash when caught sleeping like the Hostelite Dude, nor gave frequent appearances on the Dean’s List/Awards list/get Highest Grade list, like the Dean-Lister, neither does he sit rotting softly in the laboratory and steal my tutorial answers like the Practical Partner.
  
  
  
  On the other hand, PE-Teacher is built, not like that Olympics Chao Monster, but with the swimmer’s bod which he hides under his polo tees. Once I spotted PE Teacher swimming at the NUS pool. I’m sure that his Breast-stroke, Free-style and Butterfly skills were unmatched, if only I could lift my eyes from his 6-pack to check. He had a GI haircut, the angular face and the square jaw reminiscent of all the guy PE teachers I’ve ever had. He always looked good, never a hair out of place, shirt tucked in. In fact, he only lacks a stopwatch hanging around his neck. Like all PE teachers, he is a leader, which is good for me again during project times. He is also very ‘on’ about sports and field trips, so we’d all be groaning behind him while he treks happily through the jungles of BT hill. He’ll be busy collecting insect specimens while we littered the ground with ourselves and caused a small CO2 pollution where we lay........
  
  
  
  Dean-Lister eventually hooked up with a Brainy Chio, Hostelite Dude remained a Bachelor and couldn’t graduate, Practical Partner tried to chase a female version of the Dean-Lister but laying across her path on the canteen floor was just not her cup of tea. PE Teacher had a short liaison with a PhD student who loved his mature dress sense, but he graduated single and went back to the SAF…
  
  
  
  
  Recently, A brought me out for dinner wearing his omnipresent polo-tee and we talked about everything under the sun…then we took a walk along Orchard road, feeling like old friends and then not. I lost my lipbalm and my lips were peeling badly, but I felt.... happy....
  
  
  He took me home and I raised my face. Following the Way of the AKK, it's obvious that i did it with less finesse and less class and more hastily than those babe-bo Korean Kims and Jungs. I had come to expect a peck on my forehead to end my lovely dates. But tonight, he didn’t just brush a kiss like he did all those times. He gave a hug that cocoons me in warmth and said, ‘Thank u for today.’
  
  Awwww....shucks.....*blush*
  
  His huge hug left me a little dazed, so I just slumped like Practical Partner/Hostelite Dude on the sofa, reliving that warm fuzzy moment until my HP beeped asking me to check my pockets...........I felt the pockets of my jeans.......
  
  
  
  
  And out came a new stick of lipbalm........
  
  
  
  Sighzzzz.............PE Teacher Crush is now once again back in full force.........
  
  
  
  
  Out!
  
  
  AKK :)

PS. What's ur Type of Crush?