Sunday, August 21, 2005

Why Ang Ku Kueh is Ang Ku Kueh…

Hi al!


Many have speculated that it is because my Sirname is Ang, I’m Nonya and I love my Peranakan desserts...........



Well, ppl, you can’t be further away from the truth............




And the Truth, is more inane than you think............








***************************************
*In sec 2....*




Class president: Oy, Kueh, we have to design a T-shirt for our class this year leh.

Kueh: er…why u telling me?

Class president: becos we all know u very artistic and talented and can depend on you for a great design.

Kueh: oh wow…thanks for the compliment.

Class president: and also because the whole class all drew lots during recess yesterday and you got the only paper slip with the red dot out of 35.

Kueh: eh? I got chosen? .... But I was on MC yesterday.

Class president: well, as the class representative, I drew for you mah.

Kueh: …….

Class President: Anyway, we class 2I, so make sure u get a good class name. Done?

Kueh: Okie, Autocrat.

Class President: That’s Dictator to you, girl.





*Next day………*




Kueh: hey all! I’ve got a few class names I’m gonna read out, okie? So just raise your hands to the names you like best and we shall make it a true democratic societal decision.
*clears throat*



Kueh: Here goes! I in Class 2I stands for

1. Intense

2. Incandescent….Hur hur….

3. Indignant

4. Inside-out….we only allowed to wear the shirt during sports-day mah….hur hur

5. Ignorance….no, I didn’t read wrongly lah…

6. Igneous…..

*pause*

no, not Ingenious, Loh-Mai-Gai........ Ig-nee-ous. Like rocks? Yes, Rocks! Like we 2-Igneous, rite? So our class Rocks lah.............hur hur............yah..........Quite brilliant hor........

7. Indigenous..........
*another pause*

Yes yes, as in In-dig-gee-nous ppl, like the Aboriginals in Australia and the orang laut in Malaysia… we also indigenous to the class wat…Natives of Class 2I mah….hur hur…yah, this one also brilliant….




And now my Favourite one, which I already have a ready-made design for, of which I’ve already customed the font and sizing for and which, if you choose it, I shall immediately call the shop to ‘ok’ the printing of 35 shirts for…ready?





8. .........Ikan Bilis!














*Silence…Crickets in the background*




Kueh: OKie, now, we take the votes, just in case you guys forget the words we are voting for, I’ll write the last one down on the board…




*10 minutes later…*




Kueh: No? Really no? U sure about this? Dun wan ‘Ikan Bilis’? It’s quite cute wat! Why u all so stubborn! Cannot! ‘Ingenious’ so ordinary! It’s not even on the list! Who say it’s better than ‘Ikan Bilis’. I heard that, Zhu-Bee-Beh! Don’t call me Chairman Kueh! I hamtam u! I make you sing Mari-kita! President! Tell the class to accept ‘Ikan Bilis’! No Ikan Bilis, not shirt! Hah! See what u can do about that?!
*small scuffle*

Kueh: President? President? Oy! What u doin’?! Unhand me this instant! You guys are making a big mistake! It’s a conspiracy! I dun want to go toilet break! I hear u, Hum-Chee-Peng! I’m pissed, not piss! Argghh!! I demand a recount! I demand artistic freedom! Arrrgghhh…



*2 months later …. *




Kueh: *bored and sarcastic* please come collect your ‘Ingenious’ shirts, very ‘Ingenious’ your shirts are, ‘Ingenious’-ly original, no one could guess class 2I is 2-‘Ingenious’. Ohh Noo….so inspiring, we’ll win the competition for best name definitely; after all, we are so ‘ingenious’ to name ourselves ‘ingenious’. Oh yes, so much better-sounding than the cute, salty Ikan Bilis …I so agree….



*sniggering in the background...*



Kueh: Oy! I heard u, Ang-Dau-Teng! You think your art so good, issit? U know how long it took me to change the design from Ikan Bilis to ‘ingenious’ or not? Huh?! You know how difficult it is to colour the design or not, I got draw rainbow also! See the nice arch, that’s the rainbow! What u know about art?! Wah lau! U blind! Norhhhh, this arch! Here! Ooooo….sarcastic now, aren’t we, Ew-Zha-Kueh! So it’s a white slab! My fault, issit? The shop only can do black/white mah! Blame me! Everything blame me! You guys need me, I shall be hiding in the toilet crying my eyes out!













*1 year later, sec 3….*



New Class president: ay, I hear u designed the T-shirt for class 2-Ingenious.

Kueh: Yup, not bad, right, the T-shirt?

New Class President: The design Ok lah, but the naming was fantastic!

Kueh: ……

New Class President: So, how about designing a T-shirt again this year?

Kueh: Do I get carte blanche?

New Class President: Huh?

Kueh: I mean, do I get the right to finalise all details?

New Class President: Why, sure! Democratically, of cos.

Kueh: Okie! I’ll do it!


New Class president: Great! So get a list of names for 3A and present them to the class by next week. Deadline for T-shirt is 2 months.











*2 months later….*




Kueh: *bored and sarcastic* Go on, come collect your ‘Awesome’ shirts. Very ‘Awesome’ shirts they are…inspiring, is ‘awesome’. *yawn* Absolutely spewing with creativity. Yes, make my day, let me re-design the T-shirt all over again! ‘Ang Ku Kueh’ is a damn fine name what... Soft, squishy and sticky, wat’s there not to like?


*whispering in background*




Kueh: Oh great! I heard you, Lek-Tau-Teng! It's not my fault the Ang ku kueh design became 2 big white blobs in front mah, the shop does black/white only wat! My fault it looked like bra cups, issit?! I may be relegated to vice-T-Shirt chairman now, but I still can wallop your sorry ass! Wanna piece of me?!! Huh?! Come and get me!!!



*scuffling...*



Kueh: Yeeeeaaaaaaaaa! I kick your butt! Kick kick! Class president? What are you doing?! Unhand me! Noooo..............I want Ang Ku Kueeehhhhh.........


*class door slams…..Screaming subsides…….*




My dream was unfulfilled, so this is why I call my self Ang Ku Kueh







Out!


AKK

25 comments:

stars_of_rain said...

Oh my goodness. 2 bra cups?!?! Wahahahahah.

Eh.. The ang ku kueh pics look damn delicious. You just ignited my craving for ang ku kueh. I want peanut ones!!

averilchan said...

Eh...You name ain't that bad loh...I was called WASH BOWL in secondary school cause my dialect name is CHAN SI WAN. Dammit.

Jaywalk said...

I love your ang ku kuehs!!!

Oh my... that came out so wrong... wahahaha.....

bro said...

at least 'awesome' is better than 'bonkers'....

Cake said...

why huh? why so sian one, always this kind of names???

It's the kind of name, where people think they are being creative, but in actual fact, erm. they arenot??

hahaha. you like food a lot issit??!

wally said...

hahaha, your post is soo funny!

lancerlord said...

So that's how Ang Ku Kueh was born.

If I were to use the name given to me in school, my blog would be called bah-pow-char-sao-pow.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ang Ku Kueh said...

stars:

my fav is the salty one! :)

averil:

hahaha...i feel for u!:)

jaywalk:

excuse me?! my ang ku kuehs? very delicious they are, but expensive! .... hur hur hur...

bro:

ya lor..u should write a blog for that...eheheh...bonkers...yuk.

cuckoo cake:

ya lor! so sian! u tell them lah! artistic license my smelly foot! *gasp* how u know i love food? :)

wally:

sama with your 'thongs' post...i salute u also. :)

lancerlord:

I'm curious why u are called lancerlord, is there a story i sniff? closest i though of is that, u own a Mitsubishi Lancer...heheeh...

NewOcean said...

AKK, and i thot you are a teochew!

Hisreason said...

MuahAUAHHU!!!

If I were in your school and in a 'C' class, I will be Char Kway Teow instead :)

Cake said...

NOO C CLASS MUST CALL CAKE!!

muaahahaha!!

We both love food!!

I love CAKE thus i am called Cake!!

I love AKKs toooo!!!!

(have you ever thrown an AKK at someone? try it mannn. It's fun.)

Ang Ku Kueh said...

newocean:

wah lau...i hokkien, man! i even sing hokkien song...quietly of cos...ehehe...

hisreason:

hmmm...cheng teng....yea...less oily..

cuckoo cake:

*prude* my mother tells me got starving ppl in africa, so cannot waste food....heheheh....u give me a target to throw lah...:)

Zhe Bin said...

hahaha. hey so that's how AKK came about.

in my sec sch i was in 4e5, and i cannot come up with anything from that. but yes, i was in 6A in primary sch!

hmm.. then if i were to think of a name it would be.. Ah-Chee-Pah-Liah?!

Derrick said...

Hahaha! This post is hilarious, especially the monologue part! Brilliant work!

frenie said...

I was called angsana before.

Winter said...

weird way of deriving..lol

u must be real good at designing

Ang Ku Kueh said...

Zhebin:

Ah-Chee-Pah-Lian??? wat it mean?! sounds crude!!! I like!!

derrick:

kam siah kam siah! sadly I was telling a story, it's quite true...

frenie:

why someone name u as a shady tree? I sense mystery! Blog blog!!!


vanna:

It's the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I've been accused of giving lousy, ini-machiam class names all the time.....i cannot seem to get pass names that represent something small and pithy. designing? not that good...but drawing manga, I am!...see this!

http://akkueh.blogspot.com/2005/06/my-drawings.html

JiEq| ^_^ said...

I almost choke on my milo when I read that. Mwahahahahha!! Super funny laaaah..

I was called rambutan before. Dunno how that come about, but yea.. And I HATE rambutan!

Jaschocolate said...

haha.. your Ang Ku Kueh become bra cups.. haha.. funny..

lancerlord said...

That's the closest and correctest you can get. :)

Ang Ku Kueh said...

jieqi:

rambutan??!! wah lau! ahahaha....

chocolove:

Not my fault....*pout*...heheheeh...

lancerlord:

sorry siah...closest and correctest to ...?

Chaichakri said...

You are SO SO SO funny! Well, I would be back more often for my daily laughter!

Ang Ku Kueh said...

kitjarnabangsar:

kam siah kam siah.....it's a true account, btw....

zeenie said...

*wipes a tear*
that was really funny and entertaining. i remember the chaos of my sec school days where people had nicknames like "pi gu" (backside), "rubber dick" (twisted english name, go figure) and "duck" (dun ask, really).
LOL