Bus Woe....*fume*

EDITED and SHORTENED ENTRY...

This is a short entry becos as usual, nothing big has happened to me, so I’m trying not to be to long winded about it. In fact, my good friends have complained a bit that my entries are too long….


SHIT!


Ok, let’s start again. It shall be a short entry today because only one thing of interest happened. I was in the bus on my way home and actually got myself a seat today. Very good, stroke of luck, i thought! so I happily rested my feet and massaged my knee a bit….


Since I was eyeing my joints and trying to decide if my left knee is still swollen like a han-bao-bao, I didn’t notice anything until an eclipse suddenly block my light.


I looked up….and up…and up….and met the eyes of the HULK. He was so fricking tall, he had to bend his neck to keep from banging the ceiling. In fact, his shoulders are kind of brushing the bus handles….


My jaw dropped like an idiot. Never in my life have I seen someone with that kind of size….he’s not fat nor obese, just fricking Humongous lor, the type that already crashed the glass ceilings of Californian Fitness and is Pumping for Olympics Glory?


Think TWO big barrel chests and possibly abs that managed to squeeze out all Eight of its continents. He looked like he ate 30 eggs in one day, together with the shells, chewed tree trucks for veggie supplements and sucked milk straight from 10 dairy cows... That's how moronically Huge No-Neck looked...

Everyone, not just me, went goggled-eyed…


And why did he block my light? Because he was actually preparing to sit beside me... I was actually fearful of my life in that short instant. Suddenly the whole seat dipped towards him as he gingerly depressed his side of the couch…I didn’t want to be rude, but I was simply terrified, so I grabbed the headrest, hoping he won’t notice and take offense and lift me off the seat by my hair and swing me out the window like a morningstar….

After he settled himself, he had to plonk his knees into the backrest of the seat before us because his legs was so long….the minute he jammed his knee in, the backlash made the old aunty in front banged her front teeth into the front seat….

He kept adjusting himself to make sure his shoulders dun jut out into the aisle and block the standing passengers, who were wisely giving him a wide berth… But once he’s fully settled, I was absolutely crowded into a small tinny space between the window and him. He was also wearing exercise togs, man! He had probably just ended a pumping session…….

The bus started moving, I kept making surreptitious glances at his arms….which kept rolling over everytime the bus uncle turned a corner….I was totally freaked out…his biceps are Like two Honey-Roasted Christmas Hams from Carrefour! On each arms! Before carving! Unless I can fold my own ribs, I couldn’t avoid touching him……argh!!!! I kept thinking Sweaty Christmas Hams against my own bare arms and I wanted to gag….. My personal space has just turned zero radius...I started holding my breath and cringing...

The worse thing was, he looked like he truly Enjoyed My discomfort! Everytime the bus turned, he kept pushing closer and closer! Wah lau! Then during odd times, I can feel his head turn 90 degrees my way and he would stare at me every now and then. And while I dun have eyes on the top of my head, I nevertheless felt my scalp going sheepishly itchy from embarassment and my hair felt like crawling away...

After the first glance, I avoided his face, I refused to look at him, I scrunch myself tightly to the window and pretended I was utterly fascinated with each tree the bus passed….the bus was roving through a froest, but that didn't stop me scrutinising them trees...tree tree trees!.... anything to keep from having to meet his eyes….*gag*…the top of my head is, like, burning!! He might have grinned, but i wouldn't know! Too busy counting Trees!!!


Eeeeeeeewwww……! That Chao MONSTER!

The bus turned and he rolled right up! my arm, I cursed his ancestors under my breath into the 1008th level of Hell and told myself if he ever come closer still, I shall scream and accuse him of sexual harassment…….

But I never did, I was too embarrassed to kick up a fuss. The thing is, he was so huge like mountain that the other passengers didn’t think he was doing anything wrong by trying to squeeze his body into the seat. In fact, in their eyes, he was doing them a favour by letting them have more aisle space…


I didn’t dare to get up because if I did, how to get out? Squeeze pass him? Like where ??!!! Like how??!! Even if he turned sideways to clear his knees, I’ll have to SQUISH my ASS Pass HIS MASSIVE THIGH!

Urgh….Urgh…Urgh…..those are really looong thighs, ok?.....I’d be so truly molested and he’d be in such fricking Ecstasy lor! No deal!

I was gritting my teeth and praying, feeling helpless and angry simultaneously. I had to slump my shoulders to prevent his arms from brushing up against any other body parts of mine, take slow small breaths so I dun expand my chest too much and conquer claustrophobia….

Soon, I realised it was a case of seeing who gets off first, I started praying it had be him, cos I cannot tahan the thought of manoeuvring my body pass any part of him and his staring eyes, which I bet will rove up and down my body….yuk..yuk..yuk!!! Words can't even express my Disgust! ….


Finally, when his stop came and he got off, I heaved such a huge sigh of relief that everyone heard it and stared at me for my rudeness…..


*Disbelief* Ta-Ma-De! there's really No justice!

I immediately went to bathe myself once i got home….It did not matter that I was not Officially molested at the right places….I might as well have been naked the way he stared (or turned botak)…I had to scrub myself off! Wash wash wash! All away! I shampooed twice!

Then I saw the bruise….incredulously, I’d squashed myself so hard against the window, my shoulder now sported a coaster sized red mark slowly turning blue-black ….

That Fricking Huge F.......Idiot!


*points Middle finger at shower head*


KNN-BEH!! and various assorted Colourful language...



Give me a couple of days to cool off and possibly 10 more baths (and a GI shave), ya? i shall return to my bubbly self soon. :)

Thanks for reading.

out!

AKK
*grumble grumble...curse curse*