Wednesday, September 21, 2005

3 random facts….


Hi all!

I’ve been passed this baton by Jayaxe. Once again, it’s another one of those meaningful tags, so thanks! New fodder for the blog!.:)


1st story:



I stole for excitement.



Unlike Jaywalk, who stole a figurine during kindergarten and eventually felt guilty enough to return it back, I never returned what I stole. Mostly because, they couldn’t be returned anyway and also because, I never felt guilty about it at all.


When I was in primary 4, T-shirts with jewels, sequins and beads were all the rage. Aunties were wearing them to the market, those really stretchable materials that seem to hold about a ton of shiny fake diamonds on them. So when my family was out shopping, I would hang around feeling bored at my mother’s feet until she also got pissed with me and send me to sit under the mannequin. Then I’ll systematically strip the closest rack of jeweled clothing of its sparkly plastics and hoard them in my pocket, pretending they were real diamonds.



The minute i started, shopping is no longer boring. I’d surreptitiously hide myself between racks of clothing and start prying the gems off their arms. I would keep a lookout for any suspicious…ahem….sales aunties who are more sharp-eyed than the usual glazed ones, then look innocent or walk back to my mum, pocket full of stolen rocks. One time, I found a security camera that revolved itself around a particular section full of sequined costumes….so I just picked the sequins, gems and beads off each clothing while following behind the camera, so it never saw me.



One day, I’ll sure kena caught by police. thank goodness I soon became bored again...


*********************


2nd story:

What kind of bird do you want to be?


Recounted by my dad as I dun really remember the incident although I remember my answer. He remembers word for word our conversation in Chinese, but I’ll translate to English as best as I can.


When I was younger, I used to stay in the current West Coast Court. I was from a neighboring school so every sat, my dad would walk me past the forested area to my school for choir practice. I loved these times with my dad because I seldom see him during weekdays since I was always slept very early. he’d hold my hand or let me skip in front. Because it was heavily forested, we sometimes stop to look at swallows, eagles and yellow ochres flying by. One day, my dad asks me, when we were both admiring a pair of swallows dancing in the sky.


‘If you can be any bird, what would you be?’


*think hard, screw face*


‘I want to be a sparrow, pa.’


‘A sparrow? Those are swallows you are looking at, honey.’


‘I know, pa, but I still want to be a sparrow.’


He took my hand and we continued walking, me, of cos, skipping beside him because he takes really long steps.


‘But why be a sparrow when u can be a soaring eagle? Or a pretty yellow ochre or even a swift swallow?’


‘Pa, you are so silly. Last week, you just took me to Jurong Birdpark!’


‘Eh? What did Jurong Birdpark have to do with anything?’


‘I saw all the beautiful birds there, pa, all caged up….. So many sparrows at our kopi tiam where I drink milo but I never see them in Birdpark.’


‘But that’s because sparrows are not special, they’re everywhere.’


‘Must be special to be free meh?’


Funnily enough, my answer is still be the same now, 19 yrs down the road.


****************************************

3rd story.

Being a Boy....


I would like to talk about my colonoscopy experience but thought that this event deserves a big (and painful) entry all on its own. So I’ll talk about my childhood again.


Did I mention I look like a boy when I was in primary school? The thing is, no one ever believed much about it. But just because I grew my hair long, pluck my eyebrows, wore contacts and have breasts now, it didn’t mean I don’t look like the opposite sex when I was still prepubescent. Added to everything, I was an utter tomboy. Boys cower before me.


Although I never fought in my life, no boys ever wanted to have to deal with me. I think it might be due to that fierce angsty scowl I always had on my face, probably due to my hatred for my mum, who refused to let me grow my hair like a girl.


I think deep down inside, she thought making me look ugly might make me study better and have less problems with guys in general.


She was right; I never had guy problems all through secondary and did well in my studies. I am also, and I know it, extremely inferior about my physical self. She played a great part in it, always telling the barber to snip my hair all off to the ears and getting me plastic specs that made me look like a complete dork, but because I loved her, I obeyed her.


Which goes to show that parents are not always right. Chuikueh, you are reading this for the first time, so know and appreciate the fact that ah ma has become extremely lax and mellow with age when it came to you.


During these tumultuous times, I had this so-called best friend, N. We were always together, although I much preferred the boys’ more raucous company trying to catch butterflies during recess, then to spend it playing zero-point in the backyard with her. But then during those times, that’s what best friends do right? Stick together.



It came to a point in primary 6 when she started to go horribly wrong on me. She started calling me ‘hubby’ and refused to let any girls near me. She’d grab my hand and lead me away when my classmates wanted to join us for lunch. Since I didn’t have many female frens, this didn’t occur often, hence I didn’t really care. Furthermore, I was trying to get into the League of super-chee-goo-pah players during recess, so I was more or less always queuing up with the guys to go 1-to-1 combat with the chee-go-pah king.


I didn’t see it coming. One day, we went to the restrooms together (Oh yah, due to a voyeur incident, girls are cautioned to go to the loo in pairs).




She suddenly pushed me into a cubicle and er…..hugged me….


.................



…….ok….........I think I better let up on the details because I’m writing this 14 years down the road and still, I’m chickening out at the last moment….*Goosebumps*




Suffice to say, I was the bigger of the two. I pushed her away and I may have slapped her or punched her, but I forgot.



However, I remembered that I never spoke to her again.



3 random facts dredged out deep from my soul….what do you think?
Out!
AKK

25 comments:

Derrick said...

heex did she lock lips with you as well? tsk tsk.. u shld try contacting her.. u know.. the old times.. lol

frenie said...

I think the last bit was the er kissing part hor?

she veri horrible leh.

I thot lesbian tendancies only comes out when they are in sec sch.

erm, after reading the 3 stories the story I remembered most was the last one.

:P

Derrick said...

aiya confirm one la she must have grabbed her by the collar and inserted her t_ _ g _ _ into her mouth WHAHAHAHA

Li-er said...

Oh my... The ugly duckling has finally turn into a beautiful swan! *wink*

Winter said...

wooo... i also looked geeky when I was younger... big specs & horrible nerdy hairstyle..

luckily, i turned out to be average & not below average. Haha

as i am typing all these, i can't help to remember abt the "husband" stuff..

Ewwks.. hahaha

Zen|th said...

Dang. A girl wanted be your girlfriend? Hahaha. That's quite an experience.

nadnut said...

did i mentioned that im a lesbian? and im gonna kiss u this week?

soonkueh said...

hahah....the bird story started me thinking...but the last one...cant stop laughing about it...

but hey...why doesnt it happened to guys?! oopss...

A.Ball.of.Yarn said...

#02 was really special. how old were you then?

Cake said...

i have been wearing plastic specs since primary 4...

TILL NOW!!

I am a geek.

Was she pretty?

Ang Ku Kueh said...

derrick and frenie:

err....ahhh.....*goosebumps*


li-er:

hahaha...only in A's eyes (hopefully). :)


vanna:

i know...sibeh jia lat...but i only actually remember this when I'm doing this entry....


zenith:

ya, but no matter the experience, I wouldn't wish the same on you (if u are a gal too lah).

nad:

wah lau! this kind of thing dun joke! hahhah....lesbian also must choose properly mah...

soonkueh:

u mean, happen to guys as in girls pushing u into cubicle? or in the same gender pushing u into cubicle? hehehe...muz clarify hor...

ball.of.yarn:

finally! someone who focused on another story. I was in primary 2. yes, it was special, because the place and circumstance when it was played out was quite beautiful. alas, they actually mowed the whole bloody forest and hilly area into a flat empty grass field. the heart bleeds everytime the bus passes by the old estate. no more birds there already.

cake:

er.....can't remember, when i have a nightmare abt her, i'll get back to u...:)

soonkueh said...

akk: i mean guys to guys lah....if gal to guy...i volunteer liao lor...haha..oops..

barneysaurus said...

I love your recollection about the bird! You from young very cheem already, no? Haha....

And oh, you were very hamsen in primary school that's why she wants you lor, keke....

Blue Jay said...

You got push her away? Dun bruff lah....

kekekekeke.....

Jayaxe said...

Those are probably the most interesting facts I've seen! And yes, I once secretly took sweets from a shop without paying when I was still a kid. Those were the days!

Ang Ku Kueh said...

soonkueh:

gosh, you sound like my fren. eheheh....he was quite envious...

barney:

hur hur....yea yea....quite cheem little primary 2....hansem? er....maybe also, heheheh....

blue jay:

for me to know....and not exactly possible to find out, heheheh....

jayaxe:

i wonder if it could be true that almost all kids could have stolen something once in their lives? however small?

stars_of_rain said...

Wah.. You have charms sia! Though the boys hated me, no girls ever declared me as their hubby.

Anyway, the closest I came to stealing something was back in primary school when I took a bar of chocolate and walked away. But I ran back immediately when I realized I forgot to pay. Haha..

Lynne said...

I thot stories like #3 only happen in all-gal schools?! I've seen many during my years in the convent ...

Zhe Bin said...

Gosh. Ya I agree you must be very handsome. = x

ivanny said...

hey thats a great thought and comparison abt the sparrows being free and special for a young girl...

the best friend thing is freaky. it's a normal reaction la for kids that age... it's weird such gal-gal thing will happne in a mix sch... i thought only all girls sch haf such stuff...

i think the stealing thing is a growing up thing... most people steal when they are younger... lol... i stole without any guilt as well wen i was in primary...

Anonymous said...

akk what sec sch were u from ah?

Ang Ku Kueh said...

stars:


wah lau...very honest you are leh...heheheh....very commendable.:)

lynne:

ehehe...she's a feminist, she hates guys actually...meaning she's pretty much a natural lesbian...haiz...


zhebin:

hehehe....i rather look more like girl...


ivanny:

oh geez, are't u glad we all grew over it?

anon:

how about telling me who u are and see if i know u?

averilchan said...

AKK My Idol...we have so much in common..come, let me hug you!

Ha!

Yup I used to pluck out shiny stuff, including scratch out litter off those 'fake diamond' tops and bring my loot home...I still get a little 'itchy' these days...

And about lesbian tendencies, you ought to be 'proud' of yourself for being able to 'succesfully' be a guy at least once in your life.
I tried to be a boy during secondary school but failed miserable. Then I went through the Ah Lian stage and also failed before I could pick up their lingo. Bleah...

Have a great weekend!

averilchan said...

I meant *Glitter*

Ang Ku Kueh said...

averil:

you very cute leh! why u want to be lian and boyish? wah lau...heng you went back to the straight road and are so gorgeous now, hahahah...