Reason for a blog...

(Covering-ur-ass-disclaimer: MSN conversations and personal dialog featured have been embellished in content, and enhanced with colour, pauses and crickets....hehehe...)

Hi all!

In case you guys are hoping for something funny today, I shall have to warn you that this post shall be kinda depressing…and loser-ish…


…and corny….of cos…



In reality, the reason why I blog is to have an outlet for myself. This means I sometimes find myself in a quandary. I don’t seem to be able to reconcile the halves of me, online and off, into one whole. Perhaps last time, I could have been, because I did not know the joy of posting online my private thoughts. Right now, I’d find myself living my life more fulfillingly in virtual than reality at odd times.



I need to confess something; I’m a laid-back boring person. True, I can laugh and engage in conversation like any other, but I lack the courage to voice out a true opinion among strangers unless I want to offend ppl, or to tell a tale with enough confidence to make ppl laugh.




Someone once asked me to tell him a joke on MSN, but I couldn’t remember any jokes except a damn funny biology joke and a super-lame general one.




So I told him the damn funny biology one:




‘Ay Ay, when do u know that your lab aircon is down?


‘what lab?’


‘just play along, ok?’


‘right right! when?’


‘when you can do your heat-shock transformation on the benchtop! Muahahahah!’









(silence….extra crickets in backgrd…)



and then.........‘okie, perhaps another joke?’







So much for the Biology joke.







So I told him the super-lame one that goes like this:


‘Imagine you are walking in a forest and see a fork in the road, do u take left or right?’


To which he dutifully answered, ‘right.’


‘You see a house, do you go in or peer through the window?’


‘Go in.’


‘You see a pile of fruits on the table. All kinds of fruit from all over the world regardless of the season! Quick! Which fruit will you pick out and eat first?!’

Quick! Choose!

Almost immediately, ‘A liew lian!’



‘whoa! good choice, is durian. this is a personality test actually. Damn accurate one.’


‘Oh wow! Quick tell me! What’s my personality? Oh wait!’


‘What?’


Does the type of liew lian matter?’


‘Well, it’ll be more accurate if it does.’


‘OK, I only eat D24 liew lian, not any other liew lians. Then only the full fruit, not the pre-packed one. Now More accurate liao hor?’


‘Yup.’


‘Okie! so what’s my personality?’




















‘You like to eat D24 Liew Lian.’

D24 Liew lian! Whole fruit! Not packed!

(Pregnant pause on MSN and then the guy wrote back….)






‘Yes and.......?’

‘That’s it.’

(Another pregnant pause, during which I left my seat to go pee for 5 min, lim chui and comb hair...........)







Then....

‘What you mean: That’s IT? Wah Lau! Damn lame lor. What kinda joke is that?!’




And he proceeded to type out about 5 racist jokes and 6 dumb blonde jokes furiously on MSN straight off his memory to feed me with to-tell-other-ppl-and-no-siah-suay-myself decent jokes.......




Actually, I really do mean what I say, fren. That’s it. That’s all there is. To me. I rent romance from the store in HV and periodically get charged extra because I always fail to return them on time. I eat my lunch in my cubicle, I pack yesterday’s leftovers because my mum is a bad cook and the canteen’s just too faraway. I used to sing when i bathed until a blackout occurred just when i hit a high-note one day.

I’m just a boring workslave trying her best to go through life with as much excitement as a stack of romance books, packed lunches and humming while bathing can provide.





Which is why when the sun sets and the lights turn on and I’m in the comforts of home, I blog. I blog my life when something interesting hits me. I blog abt the past when something triggers it. I blog abt others. I blog abt me. And I blog for my readers who understood that the voice-over JBP song originally started out as a bunch of jokey requests left by you guys after the first voice-blog.





That, incidentally, is the reason why I don’t usually update much. I blog as Life happens and there’d be days on end that nothing of interest happens. It is also a pathetic way of blog-survival, I’m almost constantly working on nothing to provide the desired fodder. As according to the Way-of-the-Flutter-Flutter, everyday I wait for Inspiration to hantam me over the head.




Sometimes the aim is good and I get a flying tackle, sometimes it just misses to whack another lucky bastard.....




Since I'm not into goth nor suicidal nor like to blog abt sad stuff, my entries are mostly a compilation of the funny happenings and any interesting pasts in my Life.




Hence it acts as a compact morale-booster to remind me that happy things did indeed happen to me in times when I hit one of Life's potholes. Yes, rather like a flower-press. Brings a smile to my face :).




Which is also the reason why this conversation was being held:



‘Your rendition of the JPB song damn funny know? I laugh like crazy when you went 'Oops'! Very entertaining!’


To which I said, a bit too truthfully (but hoping to be overruled), ‘Well, blogs tend to be more interesting than the real person….’


To which the person replied without pause, straight-faced, ‘Very true.’

.....Choujidan.... -_-*









I’m glad to have met certain people and they very recently, in fact only yesterday, lightened me up with their glitzier lifestyle (read: eat, drink and be merry).


Frankly, other than the preoccupation of sexual craze resulting from sex deprivation, a stash of porn, a precious sacred Kama Sutra-Illustrated and a really horrible singing voice, I am without any other known vices.



Not because I think they are morally wrong. But because I just can’t hold my liquer, I don’t know how to count the odds in gambling and smoke gives me a headache.



Hopefully, their life has not been dimmed by mine.

Out!

AKK

Incidentally, that’s also why I don’t like being ‘tomorrow-ed’, I think some ppl think I did my cover becos I wanted my fame and fortune, but pls, let it be clear now that I don't need it, neither want it. I've had it last time and didn't like it. (I never thought I actually needed a disclaimer like this...but I think I better put it down). I'm getting some really freaky strange comments as it is, which I don't enjoy.



While most of these posts are happy ones, I can’t possibly go through my life always churning out happy, shiny entries. Life does not run this way and sometimes, although I’m happy, it’s hardly bloggable. This time, it’s just because I’m in the company of a great fren after sneaking out of the office ard lunctime, binged at 2 different cafes, an atas restaurant and a fricking cold pub all in a day.


I managed to meet another fren who is damn cute and funny herself and who wasn’t that pissed that I made her wait 1 hour for me. Then, in the course of said-day, I met more new frens, drank my first red, had my first bite of damn atas lamb chop and down a vodka lime wearing a fleece jacket. This kind of life and company doesn’t come everyday…



So thank you all, especially to the original 2 frens, for the great time I’ve had!


I should also say 'We should do this often!' but then only one of them is Singapore-bound.

Oh heck, see u in Dec then.