Warning: please read the whole series as they are all part of a running story. Apart from vol. 1, 2-5 are all consecutive entries. Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5.
It would seem that the drama of PPQ couldn’t seem to slow down enough for me to take a break before I update again. So I am, cramping my fingers away on my lappy for the sake of my sanity. Because writing these things out purges me from those demons that the whole episodes have put into me. Now I can say that I’ve learnt something, which I always knew, but always had to re-learn again and again because I ALWAYS ALWAYS forget. And that is this:
You really don’t know a person till you see them react to situations.
For PPQ, it should be known by now that while I harbour no ill will towards her, I am somewhat tired by the incessant outpouring of her private life. Every now and then when she deigned to talk to me about her new leash of life, I will try to turn it into another standpoint. Mainly by telling her that having guys like her or liking guys are currently not the most important thing in her life right now.
‘if you must know, you shouldn’t go crazy over just these 2 guys, you know?’
‘oh AKK,’ she flicked her hands dismissively. ‘I’m not.’
‘No, the other one was much too old.’
I recalled her having another date from the seminar asking her out. And almost immediately, denoted him Andy.
‘Like how old?’ I was think to the tune of 15.
‘He’s 7 years older than me, he’s so Uncle!’
My eyes widen than narrowed. Some of my most charismatic friends are 10 years older than me. In fact most of them age better than wine….
‘PPQ, 7 years is pretty short, considering you aren’t that young yourself.’ I twisted the knife in slowly.
‘But I can’t look at him in THAT way!’ she confessed.
‘I mean, I can’t consider him at all, he’s just too old for me.’
‘wait a minute.’ I had a thought. ‘So how was the date, really? Was it nice?’
‘Yes, it was great! I had lots of fun.’
‘Fun until you found out he’s 7 years older than you.’I accused.
‘AKK,‘ She huffed. ‘I’m not as shallow as you think. I just gradually felt like I was talking to my 2nd uncle as the night wore on’
‘Yes,' I persisted. ‘AFTER you knew about his age.’
'I’m not like that, ‘ She replied quietly.
‘I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with just making friends, be they older, younger, shorter, plumper, cuter, uglier. I’m just saying that you should just learn how to make friends first rather than make boyfriends out of these new friends. In fact, only when you love yoourself can you find somebody who can love you back the way you want. And Singlehood is the best situation to start loving yourself more.’ Once again, I thought of Jill and her composed and happy demeanor.
PPQ’s eyes misted again. While a part of me grew more disgusted with her with each passing day, another part of me constantly beats me up for forgetting who and what she is. I seem to always forget that we are all different and we think differently and while PPQ may never be a friend of mine because we think from 2 polars, doesn’t mean I should force her to accept my own views.
‘I’m just very lonely.’ She intoned sadly. ‘after I broke up with him (the latest BF), I lasted 3 days before I begged him to return to me….but it didn’t work. I’m really a failure.’
Oh man….I’ve made the Heavenly Queen’s eye water!!! Awkwardly, I patted her on the shoulder and grimaced at the scene I was imagining, her having to beg him to come back. Perhaps I’m married and therefore feeling all smug that someone’s tied to me, but I can’t help but feel she gave the whole of womankind a bad name for not standing tall when she should have.
She relived her past while I absently slapped her back, finally I took the easy way out of the whole situation.
I opened my mouth and said, ‘Have you never heard of the TS theory?’
=======================15 minutes later=======================
‘Meaning,‘ PPQ reiterated slowly, ‘that every person has 10 secret admirers that they don’t know about?’
‘Exactly! Isn’t that great to know???’
‘I don’t believe it,’ she said flatly.
‘Well, the theory stands because it can’t be proven lah. If it’s proven, then how to be secret admirers anymore?’
She looked dubious, but I knew if this doesn’t raise a gal’s esteem, nothing will. It sure did for me.
‘Think about it.’ And I went off.
Later that night and the next day, I would soon know the error of my ways by empowering her with my theory.
I have worse feelings now than ever.