Wednesday, March 02, 2005

The Murphy's Law

Today has been a really good day!

Ok, so it wasn't that good. I spilled some carcinogenic reagent over my worktable, but i managed to get the stain out. 10 yrs down the road if I kena cancer, I would know that wiping it with a cloth doesn't help. That by doing it, I was probably spreading it more thinly over a much larger area, is really true.

Erm, I also admit that falling flat on my face wasn't really a good thing today either, but this, however, is not my fault. However, since I did it in front of my Boss (yes, he deserves the capital), who was introducing us loyal hardworking rats and guinea pigs in our running wheels to our Even Bigger Boss (EBB), it's been lodged as a crime.

A criminal offense because he, the EBB, was trying to promote the boundless effort of the department to secure a WHO standard of Laboratory Safety to the SAFETY OFFICER. I had, in actual fact, made a Spectacular-Spectacular (ref Moulin Rouge) in front of 3 separate groups of VIPs. Also, right beneath my butt soaked a puddle of melted ice from the broken freezer that my Boss was trying to hide 5 min before the rehearsed walk-through. So that ruse screwed up too.

While the ensuing wayang did much to narrow the Safety Officer's eyes to slits, my pair of humongous buttocks barely escaping its purple panties through the white (now see-through) pants managed to raise them to the North Pole (and subsequently sent his appetite to hell).

While I admit that I'm already too old to be humiliated by my own antics anymore, it was still a horrible embarassing situation for both Bosses. But whatever happened next, is not, I repeat, Not, connected at all to the above incident.

What happened next was this:

Our lab had those high-tech, James Bond's I-Need-A-Secret-Code-And-Someone's-Thumb-for-Print glass doors installed. Needless to say, according to Murphy's Law (ie. if something's screwed, wat's next will be screwed too, thus the rest of the day's gonna be screwed, hence you're gonna be so screwed...), it jammed up and locked us all in. Few minutes later, they erupted in shrill waaaaa-waaaaa soundsjust when i started nursing my hips.

Apparently, my Boss must have thought I'm to blame because he immediately turned from the door to glare at me. Me! It was those long looks that says many things without the mouth moving- a veritable ventriloquist gaze. It was telling me that he now knows who's a jinx with a bad-luck radius of 10m. He did not even attribute it to the Even Bigger Boss, which I thought should at least share part of the blame.

Afterall, he was the one forcing the door.

But well, that's hierachy for you, no one ever blames the higher order if they could help it. And according to Lab hierachy, I'm not even evolved yet. I learnt something precious today:

Your Ass becomes Shinier the Higher you Climb...

Oh shit, but I digress! Anyways, back to the topic, I've had a happy day today!

Actually, I've just read what I have written. To tell the truth, i've forgotten what it was i was happy about, or what was so good about my day anymore. Well, of cos, there's the obvious jovial spreading among my colleagues. It was especially hilarious when someone re-enacted the Safety Officer's face; it was less funny when they tried to imitate my slip-and-slide.

On the bright side, I guess being a butt of jokes can be a livening experience too. I mean, if Bubblemunche wasn't rattling around on his own day-2-day experience in a kinda pseudo-tragic, masochistically-funny way of his, I had still be ensconced in my lab, running my wheel in silence. I'd never know that there are actually people who, like me, don't mind being the person on the filter-end of the cigarette of Life.

The reason why I got this blog? Because I'm like Ray Charles. No, I'm not a genius, but I sure as hell enjoy the company. :) This entry is my tribute to Bubblemunche.

2day is a good day.

Down but not out,

Ang Ku Kueh

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