AKK's debut Album!

Debut Finally Out!!! Eagerly Anticipated!



Hi all!


AKK has finally released a singles entitled 'I want my Jih Pa Ban', inclusive of a full length hokkien gwa and a short 5 sec remix. an additional bonus track of 'Vision of Love' originally sung by Mariah Carey is also available in here!

Listen now and be amused disgusted in pain amazed!


Commentary, pls listen before any further action.

AKK's full length JPB song

Special Remix 5secs

Bonus track 'Vison of Love' by Mariah Carey

Privacy protected! Singer is not resposible for any ear heamorrhage, deafness, mutations nor twitching limbs. Listen with caution. Treat your PC/Lappy/iMac with respect. Always know where the 'mute' button is at all times.....


out!

AKK

Dammit!

Another Casualty! It's turning out to be a frigthening contagion....


When will it be my turn?

.......


Down and out,

AKK :(

Why Ang Ku Kueh is Ang Ku Kueh…

Hi al!


Many have speculated that it is because my Sirname is Ang, I’m Nonya and I love my Peranakan desserts...........

Well, ppl, you can’t be further away from the truth............




And the Truth, is more inane than you think............

***************************************

*In sec 2....*




Class president: Oy, Kueh, we have to design a T-shirt for our class this year leh.

Kueh: er…why u telling me?

Class president: becos we all know u very artistic and talented and can depend on you for a great design.

Kueh: oh wow…thanks for the compliment.

Class president: and also because the whole class all drew lots during recess yesterday and you got the only paper slip with the red dot out of 35.

Kueh: eh? I got chosen? .... But I was on MC yesterday.

Class president: well, as the class representative, I drew for you mah.

Kueh: …….

Class President: Anyway, we class 2I, so make sure u get a good class name. Done?

Kueh: Okie, Autocrat.

Class President: That’s Dictator to you, girl.





*Next day………*




Kueh: hey all! I’ve got a few class names I’m gonna read out, okie? So just raise your hands to the names you like best and we shall make it a true democratic societal decision.

*clears throat*

Kueh: Here goes! I in Class 2I stands for

1. Intense

2. Incandescent….Hur hur….

3. Indignant

4. Inside-out….we only allowed to wear the shirt during sports-day mah….hur hur…

5. Ignorance….no, I didn’t read wrongly lah…

6. Igneous…..

*pause*

no, not Ingenious, Loh-Mai-Gai........ Ig-nee-ous. Like rocks? Yes, Rocks! Like we 2-Igneous, rite? So our class Rocks lah.............hur hur............yah..........Quite brilliant hor........

7. Indigenous..........

*another pause*

Yes yes, as in In-dig-gee-nous ppl, like the Aboriginals in Australia and the orang laut in Malaysia… we also indigenous to the class wat…Natives of Class 2I mah….hur hur…yah, this one also brilliant….




And now my Favourite one, which I already have a ready-made design for, of which I’ve already customed the font and sizing for and which, if you choose it, I shall immediately call the shop to ‘ok’ the printing of 35 shirts for…ready?





8. .........Ikan Bilis!

*Silence…Crickets in the background*




Kueh: OKie, now, we take the votes, just in case you guys forget the words we are voting for, I’ll write the last one down on the board…




*10 minutes later…*




Kueh: No? Really no? U sure about this? Dun wan ‘Ikan Bilis’? It’s quite cute wat! Why u all so stubborn! Cannot! ‘Ingenious’ so ordinary! It’s not even on the list! Who say it’s better than ‘Ikan Bilis’. I heard that, Zhu-Bee-Beh! Don’t call me Chairman Kueh! I hamtam u! I make you sing Mari-kita! President! Tell the class to accept ‘Ikan Bilis’! No Ikan Bilis, not shirt! Hah! See what u can do about that?!

*small scuffle*

Kueh: President? President? Oy! What u doin’?! Unhand me this instant! You guys are making a big mistake! It’s a conspiracy! I dun want to go toilet break! I hear u, Hum-Chee-Peng! I’m pissed, not piss! Argghh!! I demand a recount! I demand artistic freedom! Arrrgghhh…



*2 months later …. *




Kueh: *bored and sarcastic* please come collect your ‘Ingenious’ shirts, very ‘Ingenious’ your shirts are, ‘Ingenious’-ly original, no one could guess class 2I is 2-‘Ingenious’. Ohh Noo….so inspiring, we’ll win the competition for best name definitely; after all, we are so ‘ingenious’ to name ourselves ‘ingenious’. Oh yes, so much better-sounding than the cute, salty Ikan Bilis …I so agree….

*sniggering in the background...*

Kueh: Oy! I heard u, Ang-Dau-Teng! You think your art so good, issit? U know how long it took me to change the design from Ikan Bilis to ‘ingenious’ or not? Huh?! You know how difficult it is to colour the design or not, I got draw rainbow also! See the nice arch, that’s the rainbow! What u know about art?! Wah lau! U blind! Norhhhh, this arch! Here! Ooooo….sarcastic now, aren’t we, Ew-Zha-Kueh! So it’s a white slab! My fault, issit? The shop only can do black/white mah! Blame me! Everything blame me! You guys need me, I shall be hiding in the toilet crying my eyes out!

*1 year later, sec 3….*



New Class president: ay, I hear u designed the T-shirt for class 2-Ingenious.

Kueh: Yup, not bad, right, the T-shirt?

New Class President: The design Ok lah, but the naming was fantastic!

Kueh: ……

New Class President: So, how about designing a T-shirt again this year?

Kueh: Do I get carte blanche?

New Class President: Huh?

Kueh: I mean, do I get the right to finalise all details?

New Class President: Why, sure! Democratically, of cos.

Kueh: Okie! I’ll do it!

New Class president: Great! So get a list of names for 3A and present them to the class by next week. Deadline for T-shirt is 2 months.

*2 months later….*




Kueh: *bored and sarcastic* Go on, come collect your ‘Awesome’ shirts. Very ‘Awesome’ shirts they are…inspiring, is ‘awesome’. *yawn* Absolutely spewing with creativity. Yes, make my day, let me re-design the T-shirt all over again! ‘Ang Ku Kueh’ is a damn fine name what... Soft, squishy and sticky, wat’s there not to like?

*whispering in background*

Kueh: Oh great! I heard you, Lek-Tau-Teng! It's not my fault the Ang ku kueh design became 2 big white blobs in front mah, the shop does black/white only wat! My fault it looked like bra cups, issit?! I may be relegated to vice-T-Shirt chairman now, but I still can wallop your sorry ass! Wanna piece of me?!! Huh?! Come and get me!!!

*scuffling...*

Kueh: Yeeeeaaaaaaaaa! I kick your butt! Kick kick! Class president? What are you doing?! Unhand me! Noooo..............I want Ang Ku Kueeehhhhh.........

*class door slams…..Screaming subsides…….*

My dream was unfulfilled, so this is why I call my self Ang Ku Kueh…

Out!

AKK

Mission impossible - The view to a Kill...

hi all!!!

Recently, A and I went out again..... of cos, no need to say, we held hands this time. I feel like a 15 yr old on her first date, can? The feeling is fabulous and as long as u dun look at my face, u’d probably think I’m that age, the way I was behaving.

It was quite disgusting, but I cannot help. Every single little thing about him makes me happy. See him smile make me happy. See his hand clasp mine, happy.....see him wear polo-tee again, happy.......See him eat McDonald’s Big and Tasty.....happier........






Huge mouthfuls with slow chewing, utterly enjoying every bite.....







If he makes love the way he eats, I kena strike lottery........Oooooo......






I admit that there were other things to be happy abt. As I said the last time, A is my PE teacher crush from Uni, since he’s a swimmer hailing from AC. And we do know their supposed reputations, don’t we? *wink*


Actually, it’s all a local urban myth lah. The one that says that AC swimmers got damn bloody lovable bodies (this is not an R(A) site, or I would have said something cruder).

Muahahaha…then it’s pretty obvious what we are gonna talk abt, rite?

Today’s topic is abt ---------Mission-impossible-------the assignation to peek on A’s ‘supposed’ washboard abs.



Does he or does he not have any?




*dum- dum- DUMMMM......*



All the while we went out, talked, behave like frens, fingers brushing each other or hands clasping, he’s probably thinking:

AKK is so peaceful and serene, even shy, what a decent girlfren I’ve got.


He'll never know that the real AKK's mind is as dirty as a toxic waste dump. It has to be the many years of living in repression and sex-deprivation (26 bloody years of it!).


And come on lah, let's be frank, who ever likes a prudish blogger, ya? Why, I'm not prudish, hell no! in fact, while he’s sitting there so calmly munching off on his Big and Tasty, I was eyeing him like he’s my up-sized Beef Whopper.........


Hot Damn! There was a million different ways that sweet kiss could have spewed into something sleazier, dirtier and much more exciting-er......


And best of all, this glorious Swimmer is ALL MINE!!!! MINE!!!!


Woohooo!!!!!!


So since sooner or later, he shall be bodily mine (I believe in not wasting time), I’m kinda dying to find out if he still and does have this startling deep abs from the last time I saw him at the pool.


Not that it seriously matters lah, but it’d be nice to know, rite? So I can prepare myself, rite? And not faint from excitement and miss the whole experience, RITE? Yea! I know you guys would understand!




He had his throat bared in the hot weather.........


Gosh.....if only polo tees had more buttons......... So I was nibbling on a French fry when my eyes just started wondering down his chest......


I was trying to ‘power up!’ my X-ray vision when I suddenly heard him say,



‘What are you doing?’




Obviously he found my squinting eyes and fierce concentration on his stomach slightly disconcerting. Either that or he knows exactly what I was thinking of, because he followed that question up with a lazy smile.....


I hastily powered-down and gave him a slightly cock-eyed smile back..........mission failed first round.......


Throughout the rest of the date, which involved shopping in Orchard and a movie, I was constantly trying to brainstorm ways to find out the existence of that elusive flatbed of flesh. We were holding hands, so I tried bumping myself against him a couple of times, trying to get the flat of my clasped hand to accidentally brush his abs, before turning around to scold a bewildered shopper for pushing too close....


I was failing miserably, although I think the bumps were having a wondrous effect on him. He became more concerned with my heels, asking me to be careful when climbing stairs and in 1 case, pointing out a 10cm open drain and informing me that it’s 1 m ahead of me.........


But in all these cases, his hand would snake around the small of my back to guide me along, so I guess it’s a bonus of sorts .......



The end of the day ended with a nice dinner at Raffles Hotel. By then, I was totally discouraged. Nothing sort of announcing it outright my intentions could get my hands that piece of (still supposed) treasure.



He must have noticed my downcast eyes glumly looking at the cars whizzing by as we walked back, for he started asking, ‘Hey Dear (yayy!), why so glum? was dinner terrible?’


‘Oh no no! Dinner’s Great!’ I perked myself and smiled winsomely, after all it wasn’t his fault I’m such a dunce. ‘And you? how's dinner? OK?’


‘The best!’ he sparkled, warming to his favorite topic, ‘I've never been so full!’



Then without further ado, he did it:


In front of my eyes, he matter-of-factly put his hand on his tummy and began to rub it in cirlces..........



He was using the hand that was holding mine.........



The back of my hand felt like it was rolling pass .......3 .........humungous ............speedbumps.......



Going up.........bonk bonk bonk! Coming down........bonk bonk bonk!



I was in thrilling euphoria just imagining the million hundred images how his speedbumps (new name for his abs!) looked like.......I felt faint all over.....







Then I saw his face......he had that lazy smile again........


Seeing me blush at the excitment his tummy alone had caused, he burst out laughing while he continued rubbing the back of my hand against those speedbumps, trying to set it on fire ......


I also started laughing through the blaze of deep-red blushing before we ended up giving each other a big hug.....I was beyond redemption and beyond embarassment....



‘Arrghh!! How did you know?!’




‘Since you start bumping me even when there were no crowds and you were scolding thin air......’




‘Damn! So embarrassing.’




‘Don’t worry, next time I’ll try bumping back to see if you were wearing a maximiser.’




‘Hahahahahah...I'm...’




‘Don’t tell me yet! I’ll find out myself….Next time, just ask, OK? I try my best to accommodate, hahahaha........’



‘OK.....erm……can I put my hand under your shirt?’



‘Be my guest.........’




And that, frens, is how I found out, with my own hand, for the first time, how a 6 pack felt like, a case of Mission Impossible becoming Possible. Anything is Possible, even to somebody like me........



Out!



AKK





Heheheh.....anyone caring to expound views on the AC urban myth is free to do so. I'm always open to opinions about other schools, espcially if they come attached with pictures of hotbods to prove a point. pls send team photos (must be in swimming trunks) to akkueh@gmail.com. I'll post them up.

Ay ay! Got microphone or not? Lend, can?

hi all!!!



very exciting! after a few months of rushing after ppl to understand some technical know-how, I finally got my own voice blog !!!!!




yayyyy!!! (or not)





AKK nervous nervous nervous.....





that's all! enjoy! (or not)


out!


AKK

Hokkien and proud of it....

Hi all!


today I just wanna introduce u guys to this hokkien song. I've heard it like 5 times already and already I feel very glad I am a Hokkien Lang. Like the french language, which is so chio and atas that even when the French swear at you, u think they are being friendly, Hokkien dialect is the devil's counterpart. Hokkien langs sound like they just cursed ur ancestors when they only wanna be friends.

in case u dun understand, Galvin's entry includes a comprehensive and very literal translation in English, so no worries.


As with all Hokkien songs hor, this is one of the quite good ones liao. In fact, my bro just told me that the KaraOke lounge he went to had this song too! oh yea! so I'm learning the lyrics properly rite now for my crooning session next weekend. My frens are sooooo going to die of asphxiation.....

For all those who are happily Hokkien already, pls go click on the 'ZAP!' button and tiah gwa!


Proud to be Hokkien! wah lau! wah lan! wah lan-eh!

AKK

Promises are to be kept!

Hi all!!!



I promised an NDP preview blog! here it is! i admit this is late, but hell, u'll forgive me in the end....



I went to the NDP preview with A. Both of us are virgins.......NDP virgins, I mean (hahaha…what were u thinking ay? AY??!!). For all those years that he worked in the SAF, he’s only ever had the NDP preview tickets twice in his Life. 1st time was last year, which he told me he gave to the sweet cleaner aunty to go with her uncle.




Why? Becos he didn’t have anyone to go with.........



....Oh gosh......can somebody find me a hammer to whack this guy? Who cares about having somebody beside them at the NDP grounds when so many exciting things are happening right in front at the stage??!!







The sea of Red Patriots!


So when I knew he had the tickets, I shamelessly invited myself along by telling him I want to go. For a moment there, he was quite astounded that I’m so straightforward, until I continued,



‘If u dun wan to go with me and dun wan to go yourself.....Can u pass me both tickets?’



I’m so bad lor........But I never ever had the chance to watch NDP live with my very own eyes leh. Once I was involved in the proceedings all dressed as an uprooted carrot (no kidding......), but we were always asked to squat outside the padang until it’s time for us to run in and jiggle, so I never truly saw the whole event unfolding...........

So this time, I open my piggy eyes big-big.


The things I see:

a) This pimply young man all dressed in white shirt, white pants and brown belt (PAP get-up!) appeared at the top of the stairs of the VIP area and walked down, pretending to be the PM during a ‘simulation’. It was clear he was embarrassed becos Gurmit Singh kept referring to him as PM Goh.

It was also clear that he was badly tekan-ed for the job becos he looked a bit lost. Another young guy simulated the entrance of the MPs. This one obviously volunteered himself to appear on National TV, becos he walked to his supposed seat while waving to the crowd like the Queen..........

b) During the inspection, 1 navy SAF personnel who had been standing on attention just dropped onto the tarmac face-first and zonked out. Medics rushed from 2 entrances and carted him off in front of the Parliament Speaker..........

c) The tarmac they placed over the padang was wet with the rain........so actually, the participants were slipping and sliding all over the wet floor. One lad dressed as a flower tripped and created a slight domino effect becos he was the first person running into the padang and being a flower in full bloom, was ‘spread’ very widely.
So we saw a row of big flowers go down in a small heap over each other.

We also saw one model bird do a nose-dive when his man-holder fell, so the pole was snapped into 2 and he had to finish the dance with his birdie at half mast from everyone else’s. (eh...........sounds a hell lot worse written down......)

d) We saw a bunch of little sec school kids dressed as bunnies running across the padang. Since it’s a bunny suit, u can imagine that thing got no road holding, so they kinda tumble over each other also....it’s very cute and disturbing to see at the same time......

e) The fireworks.........enough said.





Endless Fireworks...


Half-way between the fireworks, A turned and shouted something to me. Since I was busy doing the following things .......


- mouth-gaping
- eye open big big
- neck craning at the sky
- screaming and cheering with each burst of fireworks.

Obviously I wasn’t listening...........I just went ‘Yayyyy!!!!’ and ‘Woohoooo!!!!!’ and Screamed (!!!) Every time the sky bursts in hundred different colours. So he shouted again and we kinda went back and forth for a while.........




‘What?!’




‘Will u.........be.........’




‘Huh?! Oh look! Big pink flower in the sky!!!!! Yayyyy!!!!!!!’




‘I said!..........be............?’



‘OOOhhhhhh!!!! See that?!! See that?!!! So pretty!!!!! Green!!!!’ *scream*







the green fireworks....





Then I guess A got a bit exasperated with the whole padang for the screaming patriots (me included), so he turn back to face the fireworks and suddenly, I felt his fingers gliding onto my palm (the one not frantically waving the flag).






I froze and looked at him........

Knowing he finally had my full attention, he turned to me and grinned.






And squeezed my hand in his.






And in the midst of all the ongoing fireworks and the cheering, my world went slow-mo, like it does when something important is going to happen............i cannot hear him, but I see his lips mouth the words..........












.......Will.......... you............. be.........mine............?










As suddenly as it slowed, Sound rushed back again in a whoosh.....I turned to see if anyone else had notice that Matrix-moment, but the crowd was cheering on and the fireworks kept going. Only A and me had been trapped momentarily in a silent world..........

His eyes locked mine and held my gaze back. I felt his cool palm grip more tightly.







I could feel my face lit up in bright red blush of heat at my sudden shyness and inability to speak. I let the moment run a while longer than was necessary.........in the absence of an answer, he suddenly seemed less sure. At the same time, I can see his neck colouring up like me......

1st time I saw the fireworks burst this close to my face.....

1st time I watch the para-troopers churn the sky directly above my head......

1st time I was caught with hitherto-unfounded bashfulness.....

1st time I saw A so uncertain......

It was a day of many revelations.







Then I see his eyes begin to slide away.............I felt his palm loosen............








During times of stress, sometimes the body takes over because the brain refuses to function. Whatever it was that made my brain stopper my mouth, I did not know, but in that instant his hand slid away, my body decided to free its restraints............








I reached over to grasp his escaping hand and with my other hand (still holding the flag), I palmed his face back to me............








You cannot let one guy do all the work just becos you are a girl................






I held his face close to me and kissed him at the corner of his surprised mouth........






Sometimes a gal just has to take the initiative........


..............And make a grab for happiness with her own 2 hands.

Out!

AKK

Haven’t u heard of the TauSuan theory?

EDITED!!!!!!

Hi all!!!



A fren of mine has been chatting with me on MSN recently. He was modestly trying to get me to understand that he has no admirers. Since I know him and know his vital stats...........ok, so I dun know his vital stats...........but will BMI do? He’s 172 and 59 kg, so u’ll do the maths. We are talking abt a pretty fit person here who is not skinny and pleasingly turned out. It’s a wonder why somebody who looked like he does can actually be so clueless.....



We were going in circles. Me telling him he’s really quite a catch and him telling me otherwise, until I got fluffed! I’ve decided to pass on to him an ancient knowledge that I’ve gleaned from the sunny hills of Bukit Timah during my scholarly days. I’ve decided I shall forward him this knowledge that has been founded by me and me alone, in order to bring him peace and happiness....



And of cos, to make him quit this inferiority complex.....



Then I decided, after he has received enlightenment..........why stop now?



I find that all of us have the tendency to fall back on our small nuances of errors. It is true that we can only see the tiny misgivings of ourselves and cannot understand that on the whole, we all are incredibly attractive.......



Yes, it's true! Believe me! Becos I shall show u now!



Drum roll, pls *rrrrrrrrrrr…….*



I, AKK, humbly present to you all,

The TauSuan (aka Yellow bean paste aka TS) theory




Once upon a time,

In the faraway land of BT hill, there lived a nun in a communist co-ed monastery named Kueh. Kueh studied ancient texts in a classroom environment filled with young novices like her. Among these novice was a young monk named TauSuan. While he was not out-right bullish, he managed to make everybody feel stupid abt themselves, not becos he was a crackpot or a smartass. TauSuan basically just likes to laugh at anyone who is talking to him in a slightly offensive manner.


To Kueh, it meant that everytime she had to talk to him, he always made her feel stoopid by laughing and pointing at her for no reason at all.

Soon, it was obvious to Kueh that TauSuan cannot be tolerated, so she left him alone to demonstrate his laughing streak on other novices.


Then one day, Kueh overheard the other class nuns discussing about TauSuan during communal lunch. Curious, she shifted her porridge bowl over and joined the conversation.......



To her horror, in the space of 10 minutes, she found out an absolutely horrendous revelation. Monk TauSuan had, without his knowledge, acquired the hearts of 5 nuns and made them moon over him (and their uneaten porridge). That many admirers, all of whom were decent sweet nuns, all of them, without even trying to be nice!!



Nun Kueh felt totally suckered.



She was so bewildered, she hurriedly left to quiet her thoughts under the monastery’s only living Palm tree. She was so bewildered by the news that she proceeded to kick out a high-order monk also seeking enlightened under a particularly shady spot and begun a process of meditating to decipher the meaning of this outrage.


Now, it should be said that Kueh believed herself to be a decent, likeable person, yet she often wondered why no monks ever profess an interest in her. Why therefore, can somebody like TauSuan, received such undivided attention from 5 gushing nuns?



With that question in her mind, she became stone and did not move nor speak to anyone, except to answer nature’s call and copy lecture notes.........


One day, after a hard rain, Kueh opened her crusty eye from her shaded spot and beheld the wonder of the sun rays. In that instant, it hit her like a big hammer.......her enlightenment had come! She has found the answer! With a laugh, she leaped up and down and around the palm and hugged the slightly sunburned high-order monk sitting in the sun, grateful for the insight.


Kueh ran back into the monastery for her ink brush and bamboo and Thus, begun writing the formulation of the TauSuan theory......




theory states that:

In any given time or space, a person has

5 x TS = number of secret admirers whom he/she did not know about,

this situation occurs where TS stands for TauSuan, which is a factor that denotes a whole number >1 and which final value (i.e.answer) equates to admirers that is unbeknownst to the person.


When Kueh received her highest dlang order and became a full fledged nun, her students came to her and asked her many questions:


Mistress, what is the TS factor?

The TS factor is a variable value that increases with a person’s worth. The TS value is set at a baseline of 1. Humanity has hope becos Tausuan actually has 5 admirers .

Mistress, why must TS factor be greater than 1?

Because normal ppl do not laugh at others and made them feel stupid. TS himself represents the value of 1. If u do not have such practices, your TS factor shall be greater than 1. It also means that by default, we all have at least 10 admirers.

But mistress, I do not have even 1 admirer.

*bonk gently on head* Ah…it is obvious that you did not study hard enough, disciple. TauSuan theory is the ultimate theory because it cannot be proven wrong. The TauSuan theory represents the number of admirers that u garner without your knowledge. If u know u’ve got 1, then u’ve got at least 11 admirers mooning over you.


Satisfide with the answers, the novices applaud the venerable Nun Kueh and her wisdom.

Moral of the story?





You have at least 5 people who likes you that you know nuts about. So feel loved. U are attractive in ways that u’ll never know, in ways that your crushes themselves or the rest of the world cannot understand. So Be more Confident of yourself. You are more Attractive than you think.




Out!
AKK

TS has since left the monastery after recieving his highest dlang order. He is now in the highlands of the Himalayas meditating in the snow and laughing at Yaks....

I kena whacked with a shoe...

correction!: i whacked stars 2 times, but i was aiming the other baton for Vanna, so vanna, u got whacked with stars also! hehehe...sorry, i blur....

thanks for telling me, abt the error, Jaywalk.

AKK

hiya! I shall take this short time to plonk the entry on my shoe history.


I got whacked by Jaywalk, Jellygirl and Ed, Edd and Eddy, so I shall bow to their wishes and tell the whole world where i got all my corns from....

total no. of shoes:

i fail maths! can't count! muahahaha....no lah, i too lazy to go open the shoe cabinet....but i think at least 6 pairs lah, not a lot becos my mum screams at me to pls tidy up my shoes, but i never do, so i dun buy more to aggravate her.


Last shoe I bought:


er....i think it's the yellow strappy one below from tracce....bloody hell, buy already, then all the oter colous start coming out! arrgghhh....could have gotten a nice pink one!....

how many shoes beneath my workdesk?


4 pairs! all lab work shoes to avoid spills on my naked toes. it's sad becos we can never take them home to wash, because they are considered biohazard stuffs...so i buy and buy and buy for the lab....once in, cannot go out into the world liao. waste money...






my shoes!!!



the above are a few of my fav shoes....i love Carlo Rino, and i bought the gold and silver mules from this brand. I used to wear only WHITE shoes and sandals because I got super tanned (but thick) legs, but now I diversify so i can wear more white clothings, hahaha....

the white mules are also from Carlo Rino. My papillio Birkenstock (english garden-cream) is a birthday gift from my frens...they very nice...super-expensive siah.


Okie dokie!



here's the shoe baton to the following pple!

Yan
Vanna
tempestblue
frenie
Zhebin
Wisps of stars

ay....i know i send to quite a few pple hor...but who cares! the more the merrier!Pls dun do if dun want ah! it's ok one! :)



Out!


AKK

Sorry sorry...

Hi all!


I’m into the last phases of my report-writing. Soon, I’ll be handing up this precious last draft over to the school for a month of examination and perusal. Right now, I’m bascically super-scared that something might go wrong at this juncture which will delay the handing in, so I’m, like, burning joss-sticks, praying, wearing lucky green coloured clothes and avoiding swearwords. Hopefully, the Higher Being above knows that I’m making some effort towards being a better person than normal and reward me with a smooth hand-over....



But knowing myself, being better than normal for me probably makes me just a normal person in Singapore.....ahem....ok, maybe still slightly below par....



Back to religion (which i swore not to touch...but this is different), in actual fact, given the scientific nature of my background, I’d go so far as to say that I’m pretty much placed under the category of ‘Buddhist, Free-Thinker-Inclined’ rather than just plain ‘Buddhist’.



If I really want to pick and pick on it like a ruptured pimple, I basically dun have a religion, but perhaps, an education on the tenets of how to live my Life Happy and Contented.....which i tot i found out how, but apparently not, judging by how nevry and anxious I'm acting over a silly report ....



So, beats me now, why I still feel the need to pray to the Goddess of Mercy to pls pls pls! let nothing happen and that my report can be handed up by the deadline without mishaps. (Kuan Yin! It's not a silly report! I dun mean it! i need ur guidance and help!)



Kam siah Kam siah!

*pray pray pray* * meditate meditate…..*


*tonk! tonk! tonk!...* That's the sound of AKK Kneeling and kowtowing*



OTOH, I’m sorry for the sporadic updates, especially to Nadnut, hehehe…. But seriously hor, I cannot make it right now. I eat, sleep, drink, play my report all over my head. I’m hardly fit company for anyone nowadays and my friends have abandoned me for better pursuits like having more saliva....asking me out now is like wasting body fluid, heheeh........



BUT!!! Next week, I’m on leave for 1 whole blissful week! I’ve got a few stuff to write, so u guys just hang around and stay tuned. But for ur sake hor, dun waste too much energy finger-exercising on my blog until 1st Aug.



Things to look out for when I start blogging again!



1..............NDP preview with pics!!! I’ve got the tickets! That’s what happens when ur suitor comes from SAF, hahahahaahah!!!! Weeeee!!!!!



2............Mission impossible....Ab alert! The mission to take a peek at somebody’s 6-pack (and we all know who I’m talking about)! Hahaaha...after reading this, u’ll not wan to read my NDP preview entry liao.....so I’ll put this entry behind the preview......hahaha



3............My new job, my late hammie’s death anniversary, my cousin’s dengue fever..etc etc etc…



4............And the reason Why I call myself Ang Ku Kueh...Is it possible? AKK is finally revealing herself.....



And more to come. I’m sorry if anyone has been coming here in vain. I’ve not even been online also, so I’m extremely guilty if I made anyone suffer withdrawal symptoms, ahahah...but I dun think so lah. Nonya kuehs are not that addictive... i should know...I mean, I've never suffered cold turkey over myself at all...ahahahah.......


okok...I've to get back and save u some eye-watering nonsensical pourings like this one. 12 hours straight with eyes stuck to PC is NOT healthy....



Wish me luck and c ya all on 1st Aug!!!


out!!

AKK

PS. sorry i did not visit ur blogs! but it is definite that i'll read every back-dated entry like I've been doing all the while! Love u all! :)

Hi all! No time! Battery going flat!

Hi all!


(The entry below was done on Friday when i was 'eating snake' in my office...)


Just want to tell you guys that I've been so fricking busy that I've not been able to blog, much less read and catch up on you guys. I have since finished my presentation yesterday, so damn happy! then I though i could take a break today to do some reading up. Stupidly, I did not bring the power adapter of my Darling Lappy, so right now, i'm typing as fast as i could (about 10 w/min...ahem) and counting down th power gauge till the whole thing dies on me...

It's now at 31 %...


So shitty! i had my hot steaming mug of EXTRIM coffee beside me and a humungous cupcake from Spinelli's ready for my enjoyment on the last day of the week. I'm suppose to jia zhua today!



Then I check my blog and realised I've not been writing since Sunday! ahhh!!! so I have to deal with churning out a blog entry first! AAAhhhhh!!! the thing is, while i extremely love to nose into other ppl's business, I'm truly lazy when it comes to updating my own blog, but seriously, like a diary, things have to be written down...



Analogy:

My blog is like the Cookie Monster and I'm the supplier for Nabisco....
Cookieee cookiieee!!!!!! Munch munch munch.....

.........



But anyway, I've got lotsa stuff to share today! 1st up, Thank goodness WonkyTonk got her blog back....the last we need right now is a blogicide not by the blogger herself. geez...of all the bitches you can meet in the office, her co-worker takes the bloody greasy cake! If it were me hor (i.e wonkytonk), I'd be planning many back-stabbing opps to get back at her! here's a list

1. find out her favorite foods and synchronise my watch so that whenever she buys her favorite meek-pok, I'll be one step ahead of her and buy all the pok from the mee....then she can watch me as I, goggled-eyed, eat every bit!

I wouldn't mind gaining 10 kg just to watch her watch ME hungrily! hah! Sacrifices Must be made!


2. Of cos, I can also take the last cookie from the jar, last choc from the box and stock up my own larder with her stash of instant mee when gaining those excess weight. So that when her:

---diet is a success and she wants to celebrate with a cookie,

---PMS comes and she needs a choc fix,

---did stock-take thru out the night and needed supper,

She wun noe where to go!


In any case, I'll also add salt to her kopi, put hair gel into her comb, take away the staplets from her staple, remove the toner when she wants to use the printer...


or perhaps when i run out of ideas, I shall cough and sneeze into her face, especially when i have a flu. When I am sick, I shall crawl to the office anyways and hang around her like a pontianak...




I'd do all these! beware!!!!! Do not make the Nonya Confectionery ANGRYYY! GGRRRR.......


power at 20 %......


Shit!!! write faster!!!


Change topic!!! Got story to share! very meaningful!

........



Once upon a time, a Buddhist monk went to a faraway place to set up a temple. believing in giving his all, he decided he shall lay every single brick of the temple, an ultimate show of his devotion to the teachings.


So everyday, for months and years, he laid the bricks ceaselessly and carefully. He piled the cement properly and made sure the bricks lined up beautifully.


On and on he worked, tireless untill he finished all the 4 walls. Finally, he completed the structure. He walked around and admired the new temple that he had built and he was happy.


Then he rounded a corner to the courtyard and saw!, to his horror! a single brick jutting out of the wall!. he was distraught and upset! he tot the temple was perfect! but it wasn't! and he was shamed...



Damn! 15%..


When the temple was officially opened, the abbot came to visit. The monk was very nervous while he showed the abbot around. The abbot was extremely impressed and praised the monk, but noted that while the temple seemed truely magnificent, the novice monk seemed utterly dejected...

When the abbot and novice turned to the coutyard, the novice took a breath and waited for the abbot's judgement on the last wall of the temple with it innocuosly single brick jutting out.

The novice bowed low and trembled,

'reverend, the brick is crooked, this temple is not beautiful, Im sorry i did not lay it properly.'

to which the reverend replied,

'young one, i see the devotion of your love and am strengthed by it...this is the most beautiful temple i've ever seen.'










Moral of the story?

Moral no 1, the morally correct version:

We always focus so much on the small negative aspects of ourselves that we lose the focus of the beauty of our being. We should not confine ourselves to looking at our tinniest faults and dwell on it, but stand back and admire ourselves for our greater goodness.











Moral no. 2, the politically correct version:

Only enlightened people like the abbot can see the big picture. The rest of humanity doesn't, so too bad.

incidentally, that brick? ruined the whole temple, monky-man, I'm sorry.




Out!


AKK

6 %........

___blip!______

Crush Compilation

If you are an early bird to my blog, you would have read about this love-hate thing I have with crushes. I have crushes on any number of people who represented a certain ideal. Head Prefect in primary school days was a particular hit with me. I had a crush ever since puberty on every single guy who became the Head Prefect, no matter how geeky/nerdy/skinny/fat he looked.


I also crushed the Class Joker during secondary school, not just from my class but Jokers from every other class. It definitely had something to do with our school being very communist and therefore very militant. We had a school anthem that sounded very much like all of Chairman Mao’s Communist Propaganda songs. Guys cannot have hair touching the lower half of the neck, that’s OK, but girls cannot have long hair unless they are dancers from the Chinese Dance Troop.


Like, huh? No long hair? Once my swimmer friend trained so hard her hair got bleached brown by the sun. The discipline mistress made her dyed it Black.



Subsequently, in the midst of onset of puberty and teenage angst, we were made into clones of each other. We all looked the same, guys and gals alike. U can only differentiate the 2 sexes apart by the 2 extra bumps on the chest. But then, some girls, however much they wished for it, don’t have breast and some guys, however much they deny it, have them, so gender Identity crisis abound. To avoid embarrassment, relationships took a backseat and studying became the main aim. U could say that our Principal was a man with very far sightedness, becos he surely missed all the looks of hatred from the angsty teenagers he himself created. We are not just co-ed, we are uni-sex......



We represented humanity if humanity didn’t f**k .....



Those were the days lah........me teeming with hormones, heart pumping hard beneath my bumps (thank goodness I had them) whenever my crush breezed by......sighz.....



Fast forward ............*whirrrrlllll*....................to Uni-days:



I had a crush on the:

• Hostelite Dude
  
  He who always look so sexily unkempt in flip-flops and tousled hair.
  
  
  He is always late, looked like he never slept (which is true *snigger*) and always borrowed lecture notes from the girls. Obviously the girls gave him what he asked for and more *snigger*. I was never chosen to be a lecture-note-giver although I took notes aplenty (whenever he was around). I think it’s mostly becos my handwriting look like chicken scratchings but physically, I also obviously did not make the cut. Sadly, looking good and writing pretty are mutually exclusive from me.
  
  
  
  
• Dean-Lister
  
  He who was a perfectionist.
  
  
  He didn’t care who was on his team as long as he took charge of the whole project. Good for lazybones like me who just hung on and did whatever he asked….knowing full well he’ll change everything anyway and do the whole thing himself instead. But in the end, everyone would get A+ for the project ......hehehe. A good Dean-Lister to have a crush on is one who is never jealous abt anyone else’s results becos he’s already too high up there for the likes of us small fries to aspire. So he is actually very friendly and will freely give away his notes if u ask for them. He actually manage to take time off to tutor other ppl, although most of them are gals and probably half of them gals just wanted an excuse to breath the air of high IQ surrounding him.
  
  
  
  
• Practical Partner
  
  He who was this useless guy who wouldn’t life a finger to pour H2O into the beaker.
  
  
  Can’t help it, close proximity at practical benches have always been high on the Science Faculty List of Lomantic Places to Meet ur Other Half. Basically, science ppl are pretty studious, we don’t chiong much and hardly ever get drunk enuff to commit pre-marital sex, so having a Pract Partner whose not half-bad-looking for the whole semester can raise a girl’s hormones into overdrive come every tues and thurs.
  
  
  Practical Partner is strongly affliated to the Hostelite Dude becos he just basically ‘nuah’ around the whole lab. I had to do everything myself. He didn’t have a bone in his body and possessed an interesting way of standing/sitting that could make any lecturer angry. He acts like ice-cream under the hot sun. He’d sit on the bench and just melt away quietly and efficiently while pandemonium rages around him.
  
  
  So he’d just go ‘nuahing’ all over his side of the bench while I would be running around like a headless chicken doing his bit of the project. But I forgive him everytime he flash me a smile when I handed him OUR results…I know lor…I so pathetic hor…sighz…
  
  
  
  
  
• PE Teacher-like/Officer
  
  He who always wore polo tees like he plays tennis everyday.
  
  
  It took a while to notice him becos he was never very flashy, he didn’t slump and fall over the chair with a big crash when caught sleeping like the Hostelite Dude, nor gave frequent appearances on the Dean’s List/Awards list/get Highest Grade list, like the Dean-Lister, neither does he sit rotting softly in the laboratory and steal my tutorial answers like the Practical Partner.
  
  
  
  On the other hand, PE-Teacher is built, not like that Olympics Chao Monster, but with the swimmer’s bod which he hides under his polo tees. Once I spotted PE Teacher swimming at the NUS pool. I’m sure that his Breast-stroke, Free-style and Butterfly skills were unmatched, if only I could lift my eyes from his 6-pack to check. He had a GI haircut, the angular face and the square jaw reminiscent of all the guy PE teachers I’ve ever had. He always looked good, never a hair out of place, shirt tucked in. In fact, he only lacks a stopwatch hanging around his neck. Like all PE teachers, he is a leader, which is good for me again during project times. He is also very ‘on’ about sports and field trips, so we’d all be groaning behind him while he treks happily through the jungles of BT hill. He’ll be busy collecting insect specimens while we littered the ground with ourselves and caused a small CO2 pollution where we lay........
  
  
  
  Dean-Lister eventually hooked up with a Brainy Chio, Hostelite Dude remained a Bachelor and couldn’t graduate, Practical Partner tried to chase a female version of the Dean-Lister but laying across her path on the canteen floor was just not her cup of tea. PE Teacher had a short liaison with a PhD student who loved his mature dress sense, but he graduated single and went back to the SAF…
  
  
  
  
  Recently, A brought me out for dinner wearing his omnipresent polo-tee and we talked about everything under the sun…then we took a walk along Orchard road, feeling like old friends and then not. I lost my lipbalm and my lips were peeling badly, but I felt.... happy....
  
  
  He took me home and I raised my face. Following the Way of the AKK, it's obvious that i did it with less finesse and less class and more hastily than those babe-bo Korean Kims and Jungs. I had come to expect a peck on my forehead to end my lovely dates. But tonight, he didn’t just brush a kiss like he did all those times. He gave a hug that cocoons me in warmth and said, ‘Thank u for today.’
  
  Awwww....shucks.....*blush*
  
  His huge hug left me a little dazed, so I just slumped like Practical Partner/Hostelite Dude on the sofa, reliving that warm fuzzy moment until my HP beeped asking me to check my pockets...........I felt the pockets of my jeans.......
  
  
  
  
  And out came a new stick of lipbalm........
  
  
  
  Sighzzzz.............PE Teacher Crush is now once again back in full force.........
  
  
  
  
  Out!
  
  
  AKK :)

PS. What's ur Type of Crush?

The Way of the Flutter-Flutter....

I was reading up on Jaywalk's mini-part series abt his tuition episodes...hear: mini-part series hor……and truly, this guy can really churn out stories lor! I was stuck with 4 new entries just becos I didn't visit during the weekend, so I was calmly reading each and everyone of them and commenting until my MSN 'dooot' me.



It was Jaywalk, who said gravely, ‘Someone has been busy checking up my blog....’


‘Oops! Caught in the act!’


‘Yah lor…my email kept pinging me, saying I got comments, got comments, got comments…’


‘Oopps…..hehehe…..paiseh ah! I try to visit more often’


This guy just wrote one everyday for the past 3/4 days! Bloody hell, I can take half a day to write one entry leh, like 3 to 6 hours each?


How does he do it?


Came the guru’s words:



‘Inspirations come all the time, have to catch them and quickly blog it down. Otherwise they fly away....’


‘Fly away?’

‘Yes…flutter flutter.....never to return....’



Wah lau....like doused with cold water....I dun want my inspiration to ‘flutter flutter, never to return’ leh....scaredz...


So armed with his immense wisdom, I immediately logged on and starting blogging.


About this conversation.....


....I can safely predict that Jaywalk must be kicking himself now.... but then truly inspiration mah! I’m truly-bluishly inspired to blog this MSN interlude now.... yes right now... so I don’t lose it.




In a Chinese Kung-Fu Show, I would have been falling on my knees in front of him with hands clasped, saying,


‘Shi-Fu! Qing shou wuo zhuo tu-di!’


Which loosely and sparingly translated, meant,

‘O Mighty sensei of Butterfly Dreams and the Way of the Flutter-Flutter, pls accept this stoopid ingrate as your student and she shall be eternally indebted! She is not fit to eat the sand u kick!’

*************

OK serious! Actually, it’s not all about Jaywalk, but mostly it’s abt his topic on tuition. His post reminded me of the time when I myself had a student to my name also.

It was a strange encounter, how we met. Suffice to say, I got cornered in the lift one day when going to school by this Indonesian Aunty. She was round and plump with three chins. So when I said ‘cornered’, I was closer to being ‘squished’, our lift being those new fangled-spangled lifts big on windows to prevent perverts from peeking in and seriously small on space.......


She had her market trolley in 1 hand and an umbrella on the other, and this, I’m not joking, she wielded it and stuck the pointy end seriously close to my toe.

Thus the woman spake: ‘Is u in University now?’

‘Err....yes....’ I quivered....eyeing her reinforced steel point nervously and decided to humour her.

‘Is u teaching tuition?’

‘er......no?’ Wrong answer! Her piggy eyes narrowed....

‘Want to start?’

‘....Er.....er....’

‘Here.’

She then thrust me a scribbled note with her name and HP no., then announced that her daughter was in sec sch, not doing too good and needed help.

All the while, she kept her steel point close to my big toe....


By the time the elevator door opened, I was sufficiently cowed to call her back in the evening with an answer. As a parting shot, she said,

‘8th floor is a good storey ah? Some more your unit so near lift....’

*Twinge of Fear* wah lau....she really knows her victims/neighbours! I’ve never seen her before in my life! Either that, or my forehead is stamped with my addy...

When I returned home that evening, I had run by the whole idea of tuition thru’ my head. It wasn’t a bad idea.... I needed the money because I love to count and hoard them under my pillow. And apparently Mrs J lived in the same block as me, so all I had to do was to either troop to 6th floor or have her daughter come up. So I called and went over.



Then I saw the daughter....

When I said Mrs J was round, it was an overstatement.

I mean, she is round, but with an elongated oval shape-kinda-round, very typical mama-look, very typical-I know-I-cook–very-well-and-I-love-my-own-cooking look.

But her daughter gave the word ‘round’ an instant mathematical definition. She’s 360 degrees, really! All over! I’m not insulting or insinuating anything becos there isn’t anything to insinuate already. Round is round and believe me hor, I got my compass set....


She is also 3 times my size.... so I started to feel claustrophobic again.... and I frankly tell u ah....I’m not thin either....

Another thing! I do know obese ppl, my own aunty is obese, but I never met one so.... tak boleh tahan..... All the while when her mum was proudly showing me her daughter’s past work, I watched with horror as the girl proceeded to scratch her oily hair like it really really ITCHED....



The more I watched her, the more I also started to feel itchy too....


Then she started using both hands....I started touching my own scalp....


Then I saw the flakes on her shoulders....

And before I could avert my eyes from the sight, she popped her pointer finger into her mouth and sucked!!

........Eeeewwwwwwwww.........(another) Chao Monster!!!

She saw that I was looking but she did not even register any embarrassment, she just gave me a greasy smile in return, then returned to scratching her head with her yes! Wet finger, eyes glazed....

*gasps in horror...*

I .....

......am....

....... witnessing an event in primate evolution that had gone backwards.....



I would love to say that I rejected the suit/offer, but Mrs J made a ka-ching! price that I could not ignore. In fact, for that price, I was prepared to jump hoops of fire for her and teach 5 clones of her daughters..... her weapon of choice, this time a hot steaming mug of kopi, was also hovering near enough to hasten my decision.



Before I left, Mrs J, like all parents, gushed unflinchingly that her daughter is smart, just lazy. I’ve had serious doubts as to whether her daughter was even human, but I decided to give her the benefit of a doubt. Before we left, I’d already knew the history of the family up to 3 generations back and had perused some of her daughter’s hobbies.



For once, the girl stopped scratching her limp hair and decidedly lighted up. She lumbered out of the room and came back with her drawing block.


Cool! I thought, she draws also!



Then she flipped the pages under Mrs J’s proud eyes.

In pencil and charcoal shading were pictures and pictures of.....

Werewolves, Wolves in packs, teeth-baring Wolves, Wolves lunging at prey and more Wolves.....

Complete with blood and salivating jowls...

.

My heart skipped a beat before resuming with immense erratic rhythm, my student not only has 'D' for hawker stall grading, she's got issues...


So that was how I knew my student. Perhaps next time, I shall talk abt how stressi*cough*...successfully my tuition went....ahem.......


But right now, inspiration has just fluttered onto my arm and I mistook it for a mosquito.....


*Whack*

*******

*

Oh yes, can I just say something? My student’s name was Nina. And while I dun blame ppl for naming their children such becos it’s a common enough name, I just want to say that your child might suffer Trauma later in Life if she’s Hokkien to boot.



Trust me. Don’t name your daughter Nina if you are Hokkien.



And if U really want to name ur daughter or your own name is Nina (I cry for u...) and u are Hokkien, I pray that your sir name or future hubby’s sir name is not Gan.



Out!


AKK

Ps. Obviously, MSN dialogue has been embellished...... This is called covering ur ass before someone sues u for copyright, heheheeh.....

Oh ya, my condolences if ur name is Gan Nina....

I have many policies....

Hi all!


I have many policies that I told myself I should follow strictly when I started my blog. But as time goes by, I’ve become more comfortable with strangers knowing more abt me that I’ve become a bit lax. Not that it did not pay off, becos I ended up getting a new bunch of frens, whom I think are fun and great to know better. But of cos, getting to know them better might make them end up as my frens.....and in real life, my frens dun know I blog becos I just might write abt them one day. Hmm.....I’m in a fix, I know, becos I’m admitting that I’m putting my friends on the waiting list for potential stories....


Wanna be my fren? Eheheh…. :)



Oh heck, this is not the issue lah. Again I digress. Today’s topic is about policies. My policies. Incidentally, I realised they are subjected to change becos things change. Here’s a quote that is always true which u can always use without going wrong:


The only unchanging thing in Life is Change itself.


my policies:

I have a no-photo policy.

I dun post pics, perhaps next time when I eventually lost my virginity and want to clelebrate my release from eternal maiden bondage (yes…I can imagine some guys are thinking koyak already), I might do a SPG, I’ll never know, actually. Or maybe I shall be so disgusted with the whole business of my virginity that I’ll do it anyway, or maybe I finally, through surgical means, arrive at my ideal drop-dead-gorgeous body (ala Jessica Alba), then I’ll also do a bikini shoot….who knows, eh?



But of cos, right now, I’m still too comfortable in my anonymity and too inferior abt my body to try such a stunt...but then there’s always tomorrow….



I have a no-politics policy.

I refuse to talk abt it or whine abt it. Even here in Happy Blogland there are cases of ppl playing poker and holding aces, flashing them out time to time to tell the common man, ‘hey, you’re a fry, I’m not. I’m right up here’. Some use viewership to perpetuate certain comments and opinions that creates ripples of contention and a few blogicides along the way. Yes, the best players whine their way out for reader sympathy while their victims crash and burn. I find it all inane, almost amusing and really immature. Name-dropping of celebrities, on or off blog, is especially bleah for me.



In my way, I show my dissention by putting links that I only care about and read about. I use to read mr brown, but he became too much of a celebrity now, it’s just…not the same. I use to put his link up and always wondered if I should also link to all the popular ones so that in one fine day, they might notice that I honour their presence and put in my URL in their entry one day. But I decided not to, becos I really dun read their blogs and no matter how good they write, there are always better writers who are underexposed. I feel like I should support them instead.



I have subsequently removed mr brown from my links and instead, in his place, put up blogspots which I always visit and who visits me. There is such a thing call loyalty and I’m happy to know it exists even online. For me, my blog links have become personal, a serial drama is unfolding on an everyday basis, I relate, I empathise, I hope and I feel for the ppl I read abt becos similarly, I am happy that I have some readers who’s been reading me all the way and can relate to past events that directly connects to a present entry. For all who are new, I welcome u to my blog and funnily enough, all who read me, wrote beautiful entries also. I think this is priceless. Hehehe......




I have a no-current affairs policy.

I dun want to talk about the world as it is today. I try not to whine abt bus hikes unless it directly relates to me being stuck at the front door without enough money in my EZ-link and quarrelling with the driver. I try not to talk abt property prices and how getting a condo now is really reachable unless it relates to me getting married soon and having to get a house of my own. I try not to....ok, u get the pic.


Terrorism and religion, are the 2 most taboo discussions anyone can have right now. Everyone have their opinions and usually, ppl with opinions nevertheless think they are right and have ways to justify why they are right. How can anyone argue with anybody else? There’s just no way becos everyone tries to hold their position with the truth as they see it, it’s like battle drome all over again: 2 opponents stand on 2 high columns and see who whack the other off the pole with a big sponge bat. Whack whack whack....




We all need to listen to each other but we never do. I myself am very opinionated, which is why I try not to discuss certain issues or I’ll just go all over the place just insulting everyone and possibly get flamed, then I’ll commit my own blogicide....



But for this once, I’m going to break the rule a little. I just want to say, in light of all the current tragedy that has happened in London, is this:


God is not an excuse to commit murder. Doing it ‘For’ God is instigating your own Omnipotent Being as the Conspirator. That is Slander. And whoever like a tale-tatter? Not God lor. You’re going to Hell.



There, I’ve said it, flame me now.


******

One light-hearted moment today: A smsed to say, in his typical reticent manner: hi. how r u? dinner? miss u...

******

Incidentally, have u ever tried to sms somebody only to send ur hardwork, blood and sweat to a house phone instead? Of cos u have! Do u know that you can sms to home phones actually?


Oh, I can hear you thinking: how to read the msg ah?


Here’s the answer, it’s not read, it’s read OUT to you. Imagine the words spoken with the exact same voice like your hp voice messages, eg. ‘you have reached mailbox number…9…7….6…x….x…x….x….x’. Not the one that says ‘you’ve reached...’ but the one that recites the numbers....that mechanical, monotonous woman’s voice, yes...



Anyways, my fren smsed and send it to my house phone and I happened to pick it up...



I was utterly mystified, becos it sounded like a super-cultured, no-accent androgenic woman's voice talking gibberish.

She said, very clearly,

'nee-ha-ooo, free on tiu-sss for cheap food...' and something else that I couldn't catch.




I tried to talk to the voice but it was clearly automated.... only then did my own HP beeped and I got the original msg from my fren--- ‘ni haooo!!!! Free on tues for cheep food? :) '---The system is in such a way that the woman literally said ‘tues’ instead of Tuesday. I also got a slightly raised volume to account for the ‘!!!!’. The chinese greeting ‘ni hao’ became ‘nee ha-ooooo’



........Incredible.......I was wondering what would she sound like if I send the following sms back to my fren’s house phone?


‘Grt! Let’s go for hokkien Froggy Chok in cheenatwn! U pay! Yippeeeeee!!!! Got outing! Cya tues at BV bs!’



Incidentally Chok is porridge, ‘cheenatwn’ is Chinatown. BV bs is Buona Vista bus stop, but I would absolutely love to hear that icy cool dead voice drone out ‘hokkien froggy chok’, pronounce the word ‘grt’ and ‘twn’ after ‘cheenatwn’, swear culturedly using ‘bs’ and recite ‘yippeeeeee’ and drag the eeeees…..

But I didn’t...becos I was too busy forwarding the original sms back to my own house phone...i needed to check something... the last of the sms I couldn't catch and I want to find out what it was...

I couldn’t move for a few minutes after laughing stitches after the voice intoned the same msg in her wierd manner and I caught the end of it:

‘ ...blah blah blah.....Sender is laughing at you....’


That was for the smiley face....

Muahahhaahhahaha........


Out!

AKK

Utterly relevant to the previous entry

Hi all

Just tot I'd like to share... this entry is with ref to the previous MIU entry...


My good fren wrote Wally and me an email that said,

'.....was just telling AKK that day that now i prefer reading her blog and ur blog - xx's blog is lower down on the list now haha. but - with a copy to AKK - man ur entries are still too long!!! like the latest one on MIU - i scrolled down for 2 secs then gave up. so wally, yep, not-too-long and sweet is the way to go :) ......'

eheheheeh.....I have great friends....:)

Thanks ah, i shall edit...

Out!



AKK
short enuff?!

My drawings

Hi all!

I'll be busy with writing in the next few days again, so I forsee nothing interesting and exciting for me to blog about in any long-winded way, so i shall take Yan and Li-er's suggestion to post my drawings up, which I've been meaning to do for a while but was too lazy to unpack the tissues from the paintings......

My HP photo-taking not too good, so I did not take the whole drawing. What u see is just the face of the characters, where most of the detailing work went into. all the paintings have 1 common trait, they all come from CLAMP comics. Last time when CLAMP still bothered to draw their eyes nicely, I was enamoured of their work. Then later, i think they change their style, so some of the comics from them are very simplistically drawn, very sad time for me, becos they have discarded their trademark 'liquid' eyes.

Obviously if u ask me, the hardest part to draw is their eyes. I always start by drawing eyes first, which will take half-a-day, then the rest is easy....colouring the eyes on the other hand....very long, back-breaking work.

I just put down some of my favorites. i drew them during Sec and JC days. Each took about 2 days to draw and a week to colour. All in poster paint. :)

My very first Poster-sized work! in 1999, I spent 1 week cloistered in my own room drawing this from X-Clamp vol 1 by Clamp comics. Hardest part is the lips....until i found a way to colour until they mysteriously become 3D....stroke of luck there. :)

This is from RayEarth Comics, also by Clamp illustrators. i bought this pirated deck of RayEarth illustrated poker cards from Taiwan, then decided to draw one of the illustrations. The challenge is in transferring the image from a poker card onto A3? A2? size drawing block....yes, must use magnifying glass....

One of my last works before Life and studies caught up with me. Also my proudest. It was not the best I've drawn, but the details are almost exact down to the original drawing. One of the most challenging because the eye you see here is only 1cm across, but i spent hours trying to get the colour right. you can use a magnifying glass to look at the eye (which i did) and still wun find any mistake or 'roughness'. I used a tiny tiny brush to paint it, that's why its very fine. Sadly this pic quality not good enuff, otherwise, u can see each indiv stroke of paint in the eye and the eyelashes.

Okie! this is really one of my shortest entry liao. as much as sometimes i tend to get inferior about myself about certain issues, I nevertheless am fully confident of my anime drawing and painting skills. I say that It's easy to draw, when you get right down to it, it's only like photo-copying. see what, draw whatever, but I seldom see anyone paint their work as good as mine unless they are professionals.

I know, I'm so think-skinned. ehehhe....ok, I shall not bore you to bits.

out and take care!

AKK

Movie Bat on the head

I'm been hantammed! By WonkyTonk and Tempest_Blue. you guys are so nice, I so honoured. :)

Although frankly, I'm the last person I would have thought of passing the baton to, eheheh...

Total Number of Films I own on DVD and Video:
Authorised or raidable by the police? I’m a law-abiding citizen, I am! I’m also broke…So er…I have none of any.

Last Film I bought:
Read above! I Not Stupid dun count.

Five movies/DVDs I Like...A Lot:
er…I just realised that I’m not very mainstream…I really really absolutely absolutely love animation….mostly anime becos currently American animation are not on par yet, although slowly getting there. Their drawing style also different….so the stuff I like? Mostly what layman ppl call cartoons.

5 movies/dvds i like!


All time favourite. Exquisite drawing and deep narration. perfect.:) Insanity-inducing. Dun watch unless of sound mind...



Grey Feather Alliance. Same animators as the lain ppl. So i expected no less from them...very enigmatic storyline, picture-wise beautiful! Dark show but not as queer as Lain...



hahahah....very funny old movie. I loved it because it's the embodiment of women power. all 3 are oscar holders, what more you want? a movie doesn't need pretty girls to make it a hit:)



a collection of animation by animators from Japan and America. A fantastic culture shock to see everybody's distinct styles of animation. I know I'm boring u to bits, bear with me. 1 more...


wah lau...finally something more common and recent. I love apocalyptic future stories....very thought-provoking. I dun watch it becos of Tom Cruise. I watched it because of the AUDI....

5 ppl I'm passing the baton to:
Jayaxe
Nadia
Wally
Hisreason
Zenith

er....I chose you guys and gal becos i think u all very nice, wun hantam me for landing you a chain-blog...remember ah...you are nice..extremely so. If someone beat me to it and already give u baton, then good for you, they think u nice also! plea: Just dun hantam me. :)

Oh yes, pls dun do it if you dun want to, I'm serious. :)

thankee!

Out!

AKK :)

Oh ya...did I mention I draw anime also? maybe next time post some of my drawings here. :)